Wednesday, November 12, 2014
I have always liked the Ivy League. I watch the games they play not very well. I vote for the politicians they often put out. Harvard, Yale, Cornell, Penn, Princeton, Columbia, Brown (my Dad, a Fordham man, said they'd chant at Brown's football team "what's the color of shit?" which is why he was simply a Fordham man) and that bastard child of the Ivy League, Dartmouth. I never liked Dartmouth. It was the one that nobody could remember, stuck up in the forests of New Hampshire, blessed with degenerate grads like screeching kazoo yeller Laura Ingraham and convicted criminal Dinesh D'Souza. It has that awful newspaper, The Dartmouth Review, that outed the gays back before being gay was cool, supported apartheid, published racist articles to demean affirmative action and made William F Buckley face palm over how his influence had been taken over by Klansmen in green.
But now, thanks to an energetic bunch of Dartmouth men and women, I love the Big Green!
Rick Perry, bespectacled closet case Governor of America's nuttiest state, was in New Hampshire because he actually thinks he can become President.........I shall pause now for you to clean off your monitor......and spoke to a mass of Dartmouth students because hey why the fuck not and the Q&A session got taken hostage by a bunch of right minded urchins who couldn't stop asking Slick Rick all about the anal sex he hates so much (yeah right).
One Emily Sellers cleared her throat, and asked famed Ni****head resident Governor Rick Perry if for $102 million , the amount he has raised in his campaigns, he'd have anal sex. Now of course, the obvious answer for any politician is when and where and for Perry the obvious answer is simply yes I've done it for a lot less, but Great Caesars Ghost were the Dartmouth Young Republicans offended. How dare that dame ask a sitting Governor of some state out there somewhere a question such as that! Migawd I almost spit out my Peggy Noonan 1978 Chardonnay.
Now Ms. Sellers was one of many in the crowd who had a list of 11 questions to ask Oops Man if they got a chance.
Wow, how I wish that Candy Crowley had gotten a hold of this list and asked Mittens Von Romney "I know you have been very strong on all foreign policy issues, including Somali pirates, but what is your stance on butt pirates?"
And how I wish Gwen Ifill had that set of inquiries in her hands back in 2008 and asked Half Assed Governor Sarah Palin "if new documents revealed that Jesus liked to play with his own hairy hollow, would you change your opinion?
And wowza, what if Martha Raddatz had this set of questions and asked jug eared soulless prick Paul Ryan " Does your ideal anti-sodomy law prevent me from playing with my own poop chute?"
Can you imagine Uncle Joe Biden hearing that one?
Anyway Dartmouth, thanks to Emily Sellers, I now like you just as much as I like that other one, you know that place far above Cayuga's waters where there lies an awful smell (thanks Dad for that one too).....probably the stench increasingly irrelevant drag queen Ann Coulter left behind.