Monday, September 1, 2014
Labor Day 2014!
Hey enjoy your Labor Day. Established in 1894 as a sort of oh sorry for that whole Haymarket Massacre deal, Labor Day has become simply a day off. Oh yeah, there are parades of lazy shiftless union "workers" down the streets while the job creators, the real heroes of America, sit in their country clubs still working so hard to create those jobs for those poor Indonesians, Vietnamese and Chinese. Yeah it's Labor Day, where in a salute to the millions of people working for a living, they get to work. For minimum wage. At a company that steers them to the food stamp line. Saaaaalute!
Can you even imagine this Congress creating a modern day Labor Day holiday? No me either. Instead we'd be saluting the fine folks at Bain Capital and Wal Mart and GlaxoSmithKline.
Yes it's Job Creators Day. Where the workers all go to work for free in a salute to their employers and carry the CEO around on a litter all day and feed them grapes. If the CEO doesn't want to go to the office and observe her or his free money day, a lucky four employees can be chosen to caddy for them at the Club, drinks and dinner on the employees of course. Thanks boss. For being a Job Creator. This is YOUR day. The day where you realize that Americans working for free is a damn good idea. But Americans are so greedy with their insistence on living wages and health care and safe working conditions and unnecessary shit like that. So where can we get a free work days forever? Overseas where they eat dirt and have armed guards looking over them. Ohhhh a Job Creators Wet Dream.
Oh I kid the Job Creators on their day. They really do care. Well about cutting that golf score below 80 that is.
So I salute anybody who actually works for a living. That includes about 93% of us or so. The other 7%, or 47% like certain asshole politicians love to lie about? I salute you too. For trying. Unlike most Republicans, I don't love America and hate Americans.
For those not working, I remind you of the greatest advice you can ever get. From Pete Townsend and Roger Daltrey. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.