Friday, July 17, 2009

Happy Birthday Except To Obama!

Did you know Barack Obama and God have something in common? Neither one has a birth certificate. That knee slapper passes for humor among the dittoheads and the strange group of Republican misfits called "Birthers". These folks claim to believe that Barack Obama was born in Kenya or Indonesia or on some island paradise in the Pacific and thus is not eligible to be President . It seems that 10 members of Congress have now signed onto this ridiculous movement and entered the "birther" world of wacky colors and questionable sanity.

Fueled by kooky websites and the right wing talkosphere, these "birthers" regularly lie to, threaten and harass the Hawaii head of the Department of Health, who has a copy of Obama's birth certificate on file. What do they want? Who the hell knows? The birth certificate is readily available if you're really enough of a no lifer to look for it.

Recently some reservist named Stefan Cook, backed by nutburger California lawyer, Orly Taitz, sued to keep from going to Afghanistan because Obama wasn't a citizen and had no legal authority to blah blah blah. Well, Cook isn't going to Afghanistan after all, much to the relief of every brave soul there now, but not because of any People's Court lawsuit even Judge Joe Brown wouldn't eff around with. He's not going because he never had to anyway. What a fraud these "birthers" are.

Now I think that the constitutional requirement that Presidents must be native born citizens was just great for 1783. It may have been great even for 1873. But now I don't give a rat's ass if the President was born on American soil or on Martian soil if they are competent to get something done. The constitutional requirement is as outdated as the rest of the original document with it's white men land owning no females need apply yeah we love slaves and our muskets original intent believed in by certain old white guys on the Supreme Court.

"Birthers" are simply the bastard descendants of the crazies who think Elvis is alive, the moon landing was faked, the Bilderburgers run the world, and Levi Johnston's former future mother-in-law can give a coherent speech. Does it really matter where a President is born? I mean after all, the guy before Obama was born in Connecticut and speaks like a Texas halfwit. The only constitutional requirement on Presidential qualifications I would ask be proposed is that nobody can become President if they were born in Idaho, attended more than 5 colleges, quit every public service job they ever had, named a child after a city in Connecticut, can't pronounce nuclear, governs a state that mother nature even screws with, and is too damn dumb to get a lame David Letterman joke.

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