The Flag Football Field Is Over There!

Oh it used to be fun when Nebraska played Colorado. That goddamned buffalo Ralphie, the tough play on the field, the Big 12 North at stake, the profanity, the urine bombs, the battery chucking, the assault and battery, the riots, the drunks. Oh the memories. Last year Nebraska took control of this series by racking up 51 points on the Buffaloes out in Boulder. What? Oh yeah, CU racked up 65 points but now we're nitpicking. In 2005, the CU student section out in Boulder became so irate that Bill Callahan was actually beating them, and who could blame them, they threw so much crap onto the field they all got thrown out.

But today, the Buffs come to Lincoln and Nebraska should rack up 51 points again. But this time CU won't be close to 65. More like 14 or 17 or maybe 21. So after out Texas Tech debacle last week we drop to 8-5 on the year. So bet Nebraska, give the 18, and enjoy Buffalo meat.

Happy Thanksgiving Everybody!

We get to go and eat at a nursing home today with Mom. Sounds great. Have a good day.

Ann Coulter's Adam's Apple Hits The Disabled List!

Apparently right wing bony bulimic Ann Coulter has taken a tumble down some stairs and busted her constantly flapping jaw. It's wired shut! She can't talk? Oh Lord Up In Heaven, it's an early Christmas for those of us with sense and decent vision. For the crowd that looks at her picture with one hand on the keyboard and one hand on the Coulter, so sorry, boys.

I shouldn't be happy that Anorexic Annie hurt herself, but jesus, next time try not to go down some stairs three sheets to the wind, carrying a whiskey bottle in one hand, a smoke in the other, and a Ronald Reagan love doll over your shoulder.

I'd buy those stairs a drink, but I'm sure the booze is gone on a nightly basis at the Coulter Cavern.

Hailing From Parts Unknown, Alan The Punching Bag Colmes!

In the old days of professional wrestling, the kind that took place in your local TV studio and involved overweight, hairy guys posing as Nazis and Arabs and Russians and Jungle Dwellers, there were guys called "jobbers". Jobbers would wrestle the famous wrestler on TV, look good for awhile and then inevitably lose. Week in and week out, these jobbers would appear on local matches and lose so the famous wrestler could promote the upcoming Texas Death Match at the local arena.

Say goodbye to the Kenny "Sodbuster" Jay of Fox News, Alan "Jobber" Colmes. Every night, for the last few years, Colmes would show up, take a seat next to the Irish blowhard, Sean Hannity, put up a half assed battle, and then succumb to the force of Hannity's conservative claw hold. Finally, Alan Colmes has had enough of hacking for Hannity. He's leaving Fox News, presumably to take a long shower. I just hope on Colmes' last night, he takes a folding chair to the noggin of Hulk Hannity and pins him once and for all.

Breaker 1-9 Breaker 1-9 This Is Principal Skinner, Are Ya Out There, Teddy Bear?

That's my brother, Kevin, out there on the left coast. A highly respected educator, he just cannot get over his real love, talking to truckers on his Hy Gain CB radio.

I'm No Mangino, But I'm Workin' On It!

Mike Leach is one goofy sucker. He launches into a diatribe on porn flicks while attempting to explain his offense. He somehow relates an overtime win over Nebraska to being with Sharon Stone. He goes for a 4th and 10 from his own 27 in the first quarter at Kansas State. The guy is plain loco. But he wins. He wins in Lubbock, Texas and tonight he plays in Norman, Oklahoma.


Last week the improving Huskers beat the shiite out of Kansas State and covered the 7 points. We move to 8-4 on the year. This week see above. Texas Tech gets 7 points at Oklahoma. Strap yourself in and go with Tech. I can't wait.

Bless Me Father, For You Have Sinned!

The Vatican has forgiven John Lennon this week. What for, you ask? Well back in 1966 or so, while John and Paul and George and Ringo were selling millions and millions of Beatles albums to kids, he had the audacity to state the obvious. He claimed that the Beatles were "more popular than Jesus". Well duh! It actually was one of his least creative statements. It offended nobody over the age of reason. But man oh man, Katie bar the door, did it offend future George W Bush voters and the scam artists who rule their lives. There were Southern Baptists and scummy radio deejays out there on the teevee bulldozing Revolver and burning Meet The Beatles. Now THAT, my friends, is the real outrage.

The Vatican , perpetrator of so many violations of the racketeering statutes, has suddenly decided to "forgive" Mr. Lennon's ghost? Now I am a veteran of years and years of Catholic indoctrination and I have no memory of this subject ever coming up. In fact, I remember singing Hey Jude in 1968 during 7th grade music class. So what in the eff are they talking about back in Rome? Who knows?

So my advice to the Vatican is this. You used to be cool. Well as cool as a religious cult could be. Don't get down into the pit with the snake handlers and the tongue talkers and the Christers. It's smelly down there. You're better than that. Forgiving long dead geniuses for something you never cared about anyway is just plain dumb. It only reminds people of your crimes that nobody has forgiven you for. Tread lightly.