As we all know, Kristi Noem (Asshole-SD) decided to write a book showing her bold new initiatives and what a strong woman she is. Making the tough decisions nobody else but her will make. Well, that didn't work out for the toothy extensions enthusiast. The book tells tales of Gov Noem, at one time an actual Congresswoman, of her meeting Kim Jong Un and standing up French President Macron. Both of which didn't happen per uhhhhh everybody.
But the real shitstorm occurred when it was revealed that a portion of Noem's future bargain bin resident book is dedicated to another "tough decision". The day when she decided the best way to handle a 14-month-old pup named Cricket, who didn't fit her hunting needs, was to shove the poor dog in a gravel pit and shoot it dead. Ya know, like the Nazis did. But instead of cutting her losses, she doubled down with yet another story of a goat she shoved into the gravel pit and blasted but didn't quite kill it so she ran back to her truck to reload...as the goat suffered Noem pointed her weapon at it again and wasted it, farm style. And a construction crew working at the time witnessed it all, snuck away and left the premises before Buffalo Bill Noem decided humans were next.
Look, I've despised Kristi Noem for years. She comes across as an eye batting seductress with a knife in her hand waiting to kill you. She does infomercials for Texas dentistry places that she got free teeth from. She changed her face, she put in extensions to accentuate her rather dull actual hair, and she is banned from Indigenous reservations because well, she's a racist.
All this was out there. But the dog story has done her in. Hey, I'm ok with that. Better late than never. She's a cooze with "family values" and "faith in God" who has allegedly participated in an affair with Trump goon Corey Lewandowski. Noem is the exact kind of Republican that gets MAGA men all excited. She's purty, speaks softly and think maybe they have a shot.
Noem's book is a trashy disaster for her. But like the man she is auditioning for, an apology or a Mea culpa is not possible. To apologize is weakness. So, Noem, like her hero, doubled down. The story got worse not better. Cricket went from untrainable to vicious to the second coming of Cujo. The goat went from mean to a rabid beast. And Noem revealed her true colors. A narcissistic dog hating asshole.
Turns out the book wasn't so much a voice to the future, but the end of the line. Cuz her name is not Trump, she won't get away with it. Even the cult like dogs.
The book was written not for the masses but for one man. Her fellow dog hating asshole. But Kristi. he cant read.
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