I set forth from my home to see places that I quite frankly haven't seen in 40 some years and all that lies north of Home Base. I haven't been north north in many moons, oh I've been south and west and east lots but up 1-29? Only to get to someplace else west or east.
Up 1-29 is lots and lots of corn fields and crappy parts of the road and cities of questionable appeal. But up I-29 thru Iowa and into South Dakota where I see my first MAGA sign in a field near Sioux Falls and it says
Wear Fur Eat Meat Shoot Guns Like a Real American
Well ok then pardner I wonder who this bunch voted for.
Later came the standard anti-abortion signs, the Jesus signs, the Kristi Noem signs and the ultimate sign you are in MAGA country.....Welcome to North Dakota
Fargo is big enough, the University is standard Midwest but it has that goofy Fargo Dome which is a necessity in what I'm sure is a winter wonderland come September or whenever (more later)
Since I used to often take baseball road trips Fargo is the end point for the northern passage (had I gotten my passport Canada would have been that end) and they have a team, the Fargo-Morehead Red Hawks who play in some obscure independent league with other northern cities like Sioux Falls and City, Lincoln and for some reason Chicago and Kansas City? The Royals could definitely go 500 in this league, wouldnt they?
Newman Outdoor Stadium in on campus right east of the Fargo Dome where somebody named Machine Gun Kelly was doing what it is he does that same night making parking on campus a bit tight. The Red Hawks taking on Sioux City is the highlight of my night for sure. Machine Gun (or as a co worker called him Pop Gun) would have to be ignored by me.
The stadium entrance forces you to walk up stairs (the horror) to get to the ticket office and the entrance and in I went huffing and puffing with my mobile ticket (hey kids I'm hip) where a man with what seemed like an overabundance of fly swatters stood handing them out on I guess Fly Swatter Night? My seat was way the hell away from everybody at least when I bought it cuz of that whole agoraphobia and covid thing down the first base line. Safety netting went all the way down the baselines unlike a certain Triple A team that I see a lot. The field itself was in some weird set up where the lines in left were 318 feet and the right field line was 314 feet and the gaps in center right and center left were 408 and center field wall was 420 hey wait a minute.....wasnt Roger Maris from Fargo? Being the baseball nerd I am I figured out that those were the dimensions in the old Yankee Stadium he hit 61 home runs in in 1961. That still stands as the record for a single season home run total (fuck you Bonds and McGwire and Sosa). And the guy should be in the Hall of Fame for it but I rest my screed.
The concessions here are like a damn county fair. It rings the skinny concourse from first base to the right field outfield. Its like walking a midway with individual shacks for specialized food that will kill you. And its cheap. Lets see, donuts $6 for a bag fried in front of your eyes, Bavarian creme pretzels for $6, Beer, all kinds of beer, every old timey beer you can imagine (well at least if you are of a certain age) for $6 a can, Taco hut for $3, mixed drinks (ugh) had it owns shack, ice cream, pizza shacks, and the hot dog shack. Being a traditionalist (old guy) I settled on Upper Midwest fare of a giant $5 dog and a can of Hamms. Yes I remember the bear and the land of sky blue waters over my radio listening to Twins games as a youth. What nostalgia.
The baseball is better than I thought. Great fielding plays, 95 mph fastballs, stolen bases, a homer to the 314 part of right field. Yet it also has shitty lighting. A pop fly to center field resulted in not only the center fielder but the shortstop and the second baseman throwing their arms in the air and letting the ball drop in between them all resulting in a Little League triple. Only could be more entertaining if it hit one of them on the noggin.
The sun went down on the 77 degree night about inning 3 (no pitch clock ugh again) and the locals all pulled out their hoodies and put them on while dummy here sat with an Arcade Fire t shirt (see kids I'm hip lol) and shorts and quite frankly began to get a bit chilly. Then by inning 6 (no pitch clock so its already 2 1/2 hours old) it was freezing with the wind blowing in. See that's why the Fargo Dome exists. Winter starts in July.
I left with Fargo up 7-1 after inning 6 because really who cares who wins.....
Tomorrow I head to Minnesota for who knows what. Twins are on the road, the St Paul Saints are sold out (Huhhhh) Is it fly swatter night there too?
PS--a judge allowed a restraining order against North Dakota's abortion is bad in all cases trigger law and it outraged the old white men who demonstrate in front of the only abortion clinic in the state. See local news and their "outrage". But it also resulted in North Dakota's only abortion clinic raising a shitload of money in one day so when the law does take effect it will be an easy journey a mile away to Minnesota where they have some sense of reality. It made me want to hang around and be an escort for a day just to give the old white man "outrage" some balance.
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