The 4th day of this road trip begins with a short stint into Vermilion South Dakota, a sleepy college town a few miles west of !-29 and the home to yet another dome built because weather after September in anyplace with Dakota in the name is unfit for human or animal existence. The Dakota Dome is smaller than the Fargo Dome (I think) and way uglier. Just a cement bowl with a roof. Vermilion also hosts the only McDonalds that I've encountered where it's still locked up and you have que up for the drive thru, which stretches out into the street. Nope .
Sioux City awaits. As we used to call it when we'd drive up to go to some shitty dog track at night, Sewer City, still is a valid name as the Missouri River still reeks. Sioux City is a city of maybe 80,000 or so on the river and is a short stint over to Nebraska though oh never mind.
Theres a Hard Rock Casino there with some cool rock memorabilia if you are into that stuff which I am. The displays range from, well on my scale of importance anyway, from Aretha's gown, BB Kings guitar, Eddie Vedders flannel shirt, Johnny Cash's jacket, Tommy Bolin (a native) guitar, Bowies suit, all the way down my scale of importance to some guy from Slipknots goofy jumper and my absolute bottom , Gene Simmons bass (I kid I kid KISS fans). The casino is typical slots, cards and a sportsbook where my Huskers over/under on wins is 7.5 (bet the under). And of course it reeks of smoke. Your choice, folks, the stench of stale cigarette smoke indoors or the sewer smell of the river outdoors. Or the third option is to just leave town.
The movie ELVIS....saw it....liked it....but a B at best. The performance of the English dude who played Tex in the classic Once Upon a Time In Hollywood was really solid. And then there's Tom Hanks, one of the best ever. As Colonel Parker, made up to look like the Penguin and sporting some weird accent that sounded German and yet also French it made me wonder if Tom Parker wasnt actually some escaped Nazi big shot. Hanks slurs his way thru the movie being as evil as he can be, with a limp and a cane and a look that cried out to me how was this guy still alive and Elvis isnt? Its a movie clearly saying Elvis was chewed up and spit out numerous times until all the water was out of the sponge. Which is true.
Lewis and Clark Mercy Stadium. The home of my new buddies, the Sioux City Explorers, who I've now seen two times in 3 days. The stadium is about as basic as you can see. It's got stands and a field and a fence full of advertisements. Maybe 3000 fans can fit here but unless its some give away a million dollars night I cannot see that ever happening. The stadium looks like a relic from the 30's that probably has seen a lot of history like maybe old Negro League teams came through here. NOPE, this place was built in 1993 and obviously never been touched since. It has one concession stand and with the 500 or so who showed up it wasn't busy.
Walked up 20 minutes before game time, bought a ticket in row 1 for $12 right by the opposing team's dugout and sat there with my beer (Leine Summer Shandy again) and brat and didn't move the rest of the 2 hour and 10 minute game (oh my gawd thats MY kind of ball game). The opponent? One of the greatest names in sports....the Chicago Dogs.......More teams need to be named after food. The Denver Omelettes , the New York Pizzas, the Buffalo Wings, the Philly Cheesesteaks, the New England Clam Chowdahs ...It'd be a better world.
The Dogs featured a manager who walked like Wilford Brimley in the Natural and it turned out to be Butch Hobson and old third baseman from the Red Sox back in the 70s. The Dogs also featured his son, who at age 31 cant give up baseball and who can blame him. With so few people in the stands and me next to the Dogs dugout and in row 1 I could hear it all. The "fucks" and the "goddamits" and the "shit" as batters popped up balls to the infield. The ump taking crap from the dugout. The pitchers expressing non approval of the way balls and strikes were being called as they walked off the mound. The manager saying he should have been a farmer, ok I made that one up.
The Explorers named after Lewis and Clark I assume, had a dog as a mascot. Well ok. Cant go wrong with a dog. The between innings contests were not as annoying as Sioux Falls with its dude obsession but as I said so few people were there I think some kids were out sack racing and balloon popping twice. The 50/50 pool was a whopping $62 which means if you won you got $31. Guy behind me bought 16 tickets for $10 and he still lost.
The Explorers have some problems. The fans are there in small numbers probably because the stadium is a dump, the promotion is non existent, and maybe the town just hates baseball I don't know. For instance the promotion night was free jersey night. You got a free jersey for just walking in. I didn't take one because leave them for the kids, but the biggest size was XL and the guy in front of me said they just ran out of those. Trust me, this crowd was an XXL at best.
One more thing...This Independent League has seemed to have grasped the "Beer batter" deal. Some poor slob from the other team is selected as tonight's "beer batter" which means, after some research that this guy never strikes out I'm sure, if the beer batter strikes out everybody gets $1 beer for the next inning. This batter brings out the we want beer reaction from the crowd and the mandatory sound bites of Homer sighing hmmmmmm beer over the PA. In 3 games none of these beer batters fanned. Bummer Dude.
On the way down I-29 the last sign of my impending doom was some sort of dog like creature standing in the road in the dark with its devil eyes staring at me before darting off into the cornfields. It was one of 4 things
1) A coyote
2) a jackal summoning me to Hadestown
3) proof of the elusive jackalope
4) Chupacabra looking for a goat
My money is on 2. But then I never win so theres that.
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