Pardon Me!

The self described "Chief law enforcement chief" took out his pen today and issued more pardons and commutations of people he perceives as friends no matter what despicable crime they committed. Be nice to the Dictator in Chief, say nice things about his reign of error, suck up to his family and you too can get away with anything, just like he does.

Lets look at just the kind of people that the Banana Republic strongman has said ahhhhh no big deal, your black heart was in the right place when you fucked over losers like I do. Heres a pardon.

Sheriff Joe Arpaio

Sheriff Joe is the kind of redneck that gives Arizona a bad name. An old leather skinned white supremacist who would have gladly murdered Apaches in the name of God. Arpaio was convicted of contempt of court, was going to go to jail, but the Thug from Queens stepped in to unleash Sheriff Joe back onto the people of Arizona before he went to jail.

Scooter Libby

Scooter Libby served the Devil himself, Dick Cheney, in the murderous Bush administration. Libby outed Valerie Plame Wilson as a CIA agent to punish her husband for blowing the lies off the yellow cake bullshit. Who knows how many CIA informants died as a result of Libby's revenge? But to say Libby cost people their lives is not in doubt. The Traitor in Chief showed his true disdain for foreign lives with this one

Dinesh D'Souza

D'Souza writes shitty books and makes shitty movies about how the 1860 Democrats were racists therefore they are now, even though anyone with the IQ of a bumblebee knows all the Southern Democrats re registered as Republicans in about 1965. D'Souza also makes shitty campaign contributions, illegally of course and got caught. Pleaded guilty to a felony and sat around a halfway house thinking up new shitty movies. The Soon to Be Felon in Chief likes the campaign contributions he may get in the future, legal or not.

Dwight Hammond and son

These two deadbeats are those type of ranchers who want to graze their cows on federal land for free and disdain the food stamp crowd. Since the feds said pay up, they decided to set the land on fire. Convicted of arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison, these two cheap assholes drew a crowd of other deadbeat ranchers like the Bundy Bunch who occupied a wildlife refuge for 6 weeks in protest. Steal money from the taxpayers? Thats right up the Deadbeat in Chiefs alley. Pardon!

Michael Behenna Matthew Golsteyn Clint Lorance Eddie Gallagher

These were men in the military who murdered civilians and were convicted of murder. So of course they get a pass from the Draft Dodger in Chief.

Eddie DeBartolo

Former owner of the 49ers. DeBartolo got into the shit that sent Louisiana Governor Edwin Edwards to jail. Bribery, casinos, cover ups, DeBartolo was convicted of failing to report felonies he knew about. Oh yeah, he's also an accused sexual assaulter. Casinos, felonies, sexual assault? Well its like the Old Pussy Grabber in Chief was pardoning himself.

Michael Milken

Convicted of insider trading, ok technically securities "violations" the toupee enthusiast spent a lot of time in jail for doing what the Insider Trader in Chief does on a daily basis. Tells his buddies what crazy thing he may do and lets them manipulate the market. So of course Milken is just a misunderstood cheat, just like him

Rod Blagojevich

Oh yes the former Governor of Illinois and Celebrity Apprentice loser. When Barack Obama won the Presidency in 2008, Blagojevich did what any dishonest Trump like worm would do. He tried to sell the open Senate seat famously saying ON TAPE "I've got this thing, and it's fucking golden. I'm just not giving it up for fucking nothing.". Again to Trump, its like looking in the mirror. Commutation!

Bernie Kerik

The former Police Commissioner of New York and Interior Minister in Iraq had a proclivity for accepting money from rich guys and then not bothering to report it as income on his taxes. So he went to prison. But maybe the worst thing this bullet head ever did was use an apartment for his own personal love nest. So? Well the apartment near Ground Zero was supposed to be used by weary first responders tired after cleaning up the rubble and finding bodies and getting cancer. Kerik is a selfish pig, and a tax cheat. So of course again the Philanderer in Chief was pardoning himself.


Theres others the Peasant In Chief has let go, mostly white collar criminals like himself. And throw in a few others as long as well known political pundit Kim Kardashian approves.

Meanwhile here in the Good Life, a 77 year old woman formerly known as Caril Ann Fugate, who was convicted of murder for being a companion of the infamous Charlie Starkweather at age 14. applied for a pardon from the Nebraska Board of Pardons. Now the Nebraska Board of Pardons consists of the Governor, the Attorney General and some guy who sits around and calls himself Secretary of State, They virtually never meet because after all The Governor, Pete Ricketts, spends all his time trying to kill inmates on Death Row, the Attorney General spends all his time keeping gambling initiatives off the ballot and suing Colorado for the devils lettuce legalization and the Secretary of State probably sits at home watching Price is Right. The 77 year old woman, who has lived an exemplary life for 44 years since being paroled, is in poor health and wanted to clear her name. The Nebraska Board of Parsons said no without so much of a hearing. No testimony, no questions, no nuthin.

Pardons. Maybe Caril Ann should have sucked up to Peter Ricketts for the last 6 years, praising his shitty leadership and going on TV to do so. Ricketts, the Nebraska Trump, would have voted yes in a minute flat. Like he did vote no today.