Thursday, May 5, 2016

Clowns To The Left Of Me, Jokers To The Right!

The "presumptive" nominee of a political party temporarily taken over by band of misfits is coming to Omaha tomorrow. Yes the city that will reject the talking tangerine in November is being graced by the presence of the "presumptive" nominee who really "loves Nebraska" ya know dat place where Vegas is, right?

Donald Trump will fly into the Omaha airport on Friday to speak in an airplane hangar to hundreds of assholes who called in sick. Yep, Trump loves Nebraska so much he isn't even leaving his fucking plane. The lazy prick won't even get in a limo and ride to an arena or a bar or to a cornfield we all have in our backyards to dazzle us rubes with his message of fuck you if you aren't white screed.

Some wonderful vandals have actually made a row of grain silos along Interstate 80 (dont ask) even less of an eyesore by risking their lives to paint Dump Trump along the top. "An act of vandalism" harrumphed the owner of these gigantic silos that haven't been used since William Jennings Bryan was losing elections more often than Donald Trump's been married. Lighten up, owner of an blemish on this city you are too fucking cheap to tear down. Your ugly ass silos now serve a purpose to the thousands of out of towners who pass through our fair city and see those goddamn things as a confirmation of our backward ass reputation.

In the meantime, here comes our junior Senator Ben Sasse. He hates Trump. Oh not because Trump is a vile disgusting parasite but because Trump is a "liberal". There are some people who want this lisping punk to run for President as a third party candidate. If you know this guy, as opposed to asking who the fuck is Ben Sasse, you know what a dumb terrific idea this is. Sasse, a man who ran ads in his Senate race in which his little girls claimed they prayed every morning over breakfast to end Obamacare, is every bit the clown that Trump is. He's just younger and has better hair. Sasse sells hot dogs at Nebraska football games, walking up and down the stairs making faces and selling very few hot doogs. He runs a twitter account in which his profile photo is him trying to look like Larry of the Three Stooges, or he just looks that way which is my vote. Sasse would be the perfect alternative to Trump. A younger, dumber clown. Nyuck Nyuck.

Come to our fair state sometime. See the silos on an interstate in the middle of a city of half a million people, the vast majority who have never seen a farm, much less been on one. For now, at least, they're cool to look at.

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