Monday, December 14, 2015

North Carolina The Smart Carolina?

The desire to go backwards is getting so demanding and so mainstream, at least in many parts of Trumpistan, it's a wonder that modern day Orson Welles hasn't made America piss its pants and insist it's not Isis threatening Amurca but the calendar and science itself with its crazy ideas about gravity and shit. Oh sorry, there is one. And his hair is perfect.

Down in some North Carolina (that's the smart Carolina) hamlet called Woodland (creative I must say) some of those hippies came in and tried to get a permit to put up a solar panel farm and provide electricity to the whole county and make the county all environmentally happy and probably high as a kite from all the solar panel 2nd hand solar fumes.

Solar farms? Huh? With all them solar panels and stuff that Saint Ronnie Reagan took off the White House roof when he was king and before he ascended into heaven? THOSE kind of solar panels? Migawd, what would the ghost of Reagan say?

Retired (thank gawd) science teacher Jean Mann stood trembling in front if the town council ,the best and the brightest of Woodland I am sure, and used he science teacher credentials to claim that solar energy causes cancer and dadgummit theres nuthin you can say to convince her otherwise. There's a high degree of cancer deaths in that county that Mrs.Mann blames on solar panels which are the obvious cause, and then she had to step outside for a smoke with the other cancer prone solar panel victims. Goldarnit, she taught science for 35 years and if you bring in solar panels, everything will turn brown cuz that photosynthesis deal will not kick in cu the solar panels are like a giant Hoover sucking the sun up so nobody else can get any sunlight. The town will be dark 24/7 I guess. It's North Carolina science. Undeniable cuz its science. Good science, not that pussy science that travels into space and says the earth is changing its climate and that humans evolved from monkeys and cures diseases. No, leave that hoax of libtard science to the libtards trying to destroy America.

Jean's husband, Bobby Mann, who completes the Mann Institute of Science faculty, got up and expressed his scientifically based fears that no business ,other than those commie solar panel freaks, will come to Woodland since all the sunlight is getting sucked up by the panels from hell. And if business doesn't come to Woodland, all the young people will leave and then what? No more high school football? Oh my, it's just a nightmare waiting to happen, thanks to those damned hippies and their solar energy scam.

By the way, the town council climbed under the desks and voted 3-1 to stop progress. Because that's America 2015. Where the dumb is celebrated and the smart is derided. Newly sworn in Councilman, Cecil Harkey (I am making none of this up) voted oh come onnnnnn people and no to the petition to stop solar panels. His recall is imminent I am sure.

Two things.

1) I wish I could tell you this county in North Carolina voted for McCain and Romney in overwhelming numbers. But I can't. Cuz it would be untrue. Obama won this town in 2008 and even bigger in 2012. The county is represented in Congress by a Democrat. The dumb has become so common it's even infiltrated us. See Anti-Vaxxers. We need help, the cancer (and not the solar panel kind) is spreading.

2) No Mr.Mann, the young people won't move cuz of the solar farms, they will move cuz of people like you. Unlike the 50 year residents of towns like this, they want change. They want to see the things they see on the cable TV and the internet. Hangin out at the diner and bitching about this and that doesn't cut it. Bye bye Woodland.

Solar energy does not cause cancer, unless you lay around in it all day so you can look cool. Solar energy cause independence from shithole parts of the world we just can't get away from. And it costs the Koch Brothers money. It costs BP and Exxon and the rest of these life sucking oil companies money. And it's rubes like the Mann's of Woodland North Carolina that empower these assholes.

What did Lenin say? Well it wasn't a phrase about "useful idiots" cuz he never said that. But nonetheless, being a useful idiot is worse than just being an idiot. Most idiots are useless. See Carly Fiorina rally. But useful idiots are dangerous. See Trump rally.

1 comment:

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