Monday, October 12, 2015

Avoiding The Dumb!

I have been inn the midst of avoiding Trump and his daily serving of dumb people flakes, dodging the constant proof that being a brain surgeon doesn't mean you aren't a crazy person, and trying to find what financial institution is going to buy into the first woman president being a Republican and either a blatant liar or a person who thinks Rosemary's Baby was a documentary on the birth of Barack Look At Its Eyes Obama.

So Ive been going to movies, and football games and watching shit on TV like Hand of God, Fear The Walking Dead or that maniacal American Horror Story. The TV is so scary that I often check to see if the Republicans are debating again (Hand of God), there's another televised gun nut rally (Fear the Walking Dead) or I'm in a bad dream and Carly Fiorina has been elected POTUS (American Horror Story starring Carly Fiorina, errrrrrrrrr, Lady Gaga).

In order see the following cuz, quite frankly, these four are all pretty good.

4) Everest

This is a movie featuring people with a death wish. People not content with watching shit on TV but going to the other extreme and trying to climb a fucking mountain in Nepal. Personally, I'll kill myself with bad food watching shit on TV but if you want to die freezing to death climbing Mount Everest hey knock yourself out.

Jason Clarke (The Chicago Code,yep, saw him on a shit TV show), is the climbing guide with a hunky Aussie accent and a waiting at home Keira Knightley, did I mention he's also very dumb? He leads Josh Brolin, an arrogant Texan (thats a stretch), Dougie from House of Cards, Teardrop from Winter's Bone, Jake Gyllenhaal from everywhere and a host of others up Mt.Everest and after they make it (of course) all hell breaks loose and (spoiler alert) they all die, except for Josh Brolin who has Robin Wright in a fat suit at home being all Claire Underwood and bringing him home alive cuz she's effing Robin Wright.

It's a spectacular CGI movie, and it really is thrilling to see the top of the world on a big screen. And it's a 3 star movie. Well worth the matinee price. But man, are these people crazy.

3) The Martian

I know everyone is raving about this flick. And yes, it's pretty good. But it is wayyyyyy too long. I felt like I was trapped on a Martian movie palace after it was over.

Matt Damon is trapped on Mars after Murph from Interstellar (a far superior movie) leaves him behind while running from some Martian like storm that used left over effects from Everest. Matt is a botanist so he grows shit on Mars using actual human crap and survives for years by being a space like McGuyver while the Earth tries to get him back before he starts talking to a volleyball.

Do they get him back? Well you'll have to go see it to find out. Will McAvoy, Jeff Daniels really isnt for it and he runs NASA now so if Matt gets back or not is kind of iffy.

It's one of those movies I really want to love, and don't. But it really is good. A solid 3 star movie, though at times some of the effects look like the Lego Movie lent them some props.

2) The Walk

Yeah yeah, Man On Wire is far superior but to see this story of a Frenchmen walking on a wire from Twin Tower to Twin Tower back in 1974 is pretty captivating. And see it in Imax and 3D or you might not think much of the movie cuz the 3D effects of being up above the ground 110 stories and you're there is eye closing scary.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt is spectacular as always. Ben Kingsley is weirdo Svengali guy and the rest of the cast is where have I seen them before types.

But when he finally walks the wire, it is beyond thrilling. The effects are superior and if you have those stupid 3D glasses on, well, good luck if you have a fear of heights.

But this really is a movie about the Twin Towers. The sight of them again is moving and hopefully we have all moved beyond the dumb hey Simpsons, dont show the Simpsons go to New York episode cu somebody might get sad phase.

I dare you to not feel a twinge in your gut at the closing shot of the Towers in this movie. As a movie this is a 2 1/2 star type, in 3D and Imax it goes way up to 3 1/2.

1) Sicario

Ok now I admit that Traffic is in my Top 20 of all Time movie list, right below Disorderlies (kidding, Disorderlies is way down there about 48 or so). I love Traffic, and Benicio Del Toro won a well deserved Oscar for it. He was a good guy sticking up for the future rapist Mexican kids.

Sicario is a Traffic and a Zero Dark Thirty clone. And its is the best movie I've seen this year.

Emily Blunt is the FBI agent recruited by arrogant Texan Josh Brolin (again?) to participate in some sort of international hunt for a Mexican drug King. Benicio Del Toro is the mysterious Alejandro who kind of hangs around being all who is this guy working for?

Emily Blunt goes along and becomes more and more disgusted by what she sees. Some could say naive' about what she sees. And she is great. But this is Benicio Del Toro's movie, period. As good a character he is in Traffic, he is as bad as they come in Sicario. Proving what a great actor he is, Del Toro is chilling in his drive for revenge. He is a cant take your eyes off him actor. I cannot emphasize how good he is in this movie.

It is wonderfully shot in the washed out colors of the desert. The scene of a border crossing, and the return back across the border is a film geek's dream. A how did they do that type of series. It is so great.

Sicario is edge of your seat. It is depressingly real. And it is a 4 star film. The best of 2015 as far as I am concerned.

Now back to the Dumb.

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