Friday, December 26, 2014
File The Lawsuit At 4:20!
First of all, just look at that picture above. Those two, uhhhhh, gentlemen, are the two, uhhhh, fellas that the voters of this state, uhhhhhh, Nebr-cool on the right side of the map, cave people on the left-aska, elected twice to be their Governor and Attorney General.
The guy on the right, the little fella with the I'm watching little fella porn look on his face is our esteemed Governor, Dave Heineman. A man so popular that even after his total indifference to whom he hired to run the state prison system resulted in violent criminals being let out of jail early and killing and raping and rooting for Miami, that he leaves office with a 60% approval rating. Mostly because those loons on the left side of the map see an (R) next to your name and think yer automatically good people. But he will soon be gone to be replaced by a trust fund kid named Ricketts who will run the state in much the same way. Shitty.
The guy on the left. Wow, what a piece of ,uhhhhh, work this guy is. That's our Attorney General,Jon Bruning, also soon to be leaving and to be replaced by a guy with an (R) next to his name cuz of freedom!
Jon Bruning has decided to go out with a spark. Jon Bruning doesn't much care for the pot, the weed, the MJ, grass (I'm old),reefer, the kind, the herb, oh hell, he just thinks it's called loco weed and it made Popeye go nuts once after Bluto spiked his spinach. But Bruning is gonna save all of us poor innocent Nebraskans from the drug cartel that is called Colorado. And he has joined up with another genius attorney general from Nebraska south, Okla-whole state is nuts-homa, to sue Colorado so they have to stop selling pot to its citizens legally cuz they voted that way. You know, Jon, the way the dopes here voted you into office twice?
Bruning and Okie Boy, soon to be joined by Kansas if they can find enough money there in Brownback-Ville, are trying to get the Feds to put a stop to the wackiness in Colorado cuz of federal law and shit. You know, the Feds? The guy Bruning and his ilk hate cuz he's black, uhhh, cuz of state's rights! The Feds? The ones who implement Obamacare that the little guy, Heineman, won't take Medicaid money for. Yeah those Feds.
Bruning thinks cuz the citizens of that hippie state legalized the pot, that all the people who go there to buy it legally all bring tons and tons of it back to Nebraska and that Buford T Justice has to arrest them and keep em in jail cuz of freedom, that it costs too much money to incarcerate these drug addled freaks and the tiny little counties out in JesusLand will all go broke.
Ok Bruning. Whatever you say. Ans state's rights guy, Little Davey, is all in his corner cuz of, oh hell I don't even know anymore.
Bruning is a former liberal pothead from way back. Writing about pro choice and legalizing pot back when he was employed by the college newspaper suddenly Bruning found the way to riches and fame in this state came NOT from those views but by being a right wing wacko. And thus, the transformation happened. All of that past shit is just being young and stupid.
Bruning asked all Colorado's border states to take part in his little lawsuit. Only Oklahoma was fucking dumb enough to bite on Bruning's blunt.
But instead of taking it to his mind and saying maybe these other redneck states won't joint, errr, join my little temper tantrum, perhaps it's not a good spending of that taxpayer money I so wish to save. Fuck no. I'm Jon Bruning and what I say goes.
Ok fine. Bruning is Bruning. He's run for U.S. Senate and lost. He's run for Governor and lost. Thus, logic tells me even the nutjob Republicans don't really care for this fish eyed son of a bitch. Maybe the other Attorneys General in fellow redneck states see him coming and go fuck I''m not in. But he trudges on, with the support of a guy whose growth was obviously stunted form something, to tell the hippies in Colorado what's good for them. Or maybe he just wants money.
He has sued to keep casinos out of Iowa. He has thrown legally married 22 year olds into jail for statutory rape. He has said that his answer to prison overcrowding is to stuff 6 inmates into one cell if you have to.
Yep, that's our Jon Bruning. A complete phony, a cynic, a con man and a cancer survivor. Oh yeah did I tell you that? Jon Bruning got colon cancer. He survived. He informed everybody who would listen he was changed man.
But who would have thought that after surviving cancer, and being a changed man, that a total dick would become an even bigger dick?
Stick that in your bong and smoke it.