When Do The Reruns Start?

Jesus H Christ, this abortion of a reality show has gone on longer than most of the cool shows I watch that get cancelled after 8 episodes. I'm talking to you, ABC. You put this shit on and you cancel Flash Forward and Life on Mars? No wonder I only turn ABC on to watch The Middle, Suburgatory and , uhhhhhhhhhh, uhhhhhhhh, hey Rick Perry, what's that third show I watch? Oh yeah, Modern Family, you know, that show with the two homos that Santorum watches in the dark with the sound turned down fantasizing what it would be like to wrestle with Cam.

Another Republican debate, live from Des Moines, Iowa where these Republican nimrods all spent time sucking up to socially retarded home schoolers who get their Jesus on every four years to caucus and send one Republican religious freak into oblivion. Hey, as far as I'm concerned, that 1988 victory you Republican Iowa dorks thrust upon the rest of the sane states by caucusing for Pat Robertson should disqualify your whole state from ever having any kind of power ever again. You obviously have no idea what to do with it. Huckabee? Bachmann? Go sit down and let the adults handle this.

Yeah everybody is all atwitter over Mittens Romney offering to bet Brokeback Rick Perry on something his book said or didn't say. Who gives a shit? Who read the goddamned thing anyway? But the first monetary figure that comes to Mittens' frazzled head is $10,000? Like that's a buck or 5 bucks in normal guy terms. What, is that what Mittens keeps in that magic underwear of his? $10K? Just for a rainy day? Jesus, Mitt, betting is not your deal! Hey, Mitt, I'll bet you $10k that not one person with an IQ over 80 can actually watch another one of these debates without drinking themselves into a frothy mixture of puke and santorum. Easiest $10K ever.

Ron Paul. Oh my. How can a man make perfect sense for 20 seconds or so and then veer off into some sort of Peter Max looking la la land. Oh yeah, I believe that we do not belong in foreign lands forcing our will on them (veer) and we should then start trading big and little rocks for currency. If you live in a rockless land, too bad for you. (Cheers from the Paultards with lots of rocks in their heads)

Newtie. They are all ganging up on you now. Calling you out for your philandering and your shameless pocket stuffing. Don't they realize what a fucking genius you are? You have that 80+ IQ. Newtie, the competition is weak. You're playing 1-AA teams while hoping to get to the Sugar Bowl and take on Obama State. Not sure you really know what's happening, Newtie. Obama prays for your nomination. In that Muslim way of his.

Rick Perry. Why? I know you aren't afraid to express your Christianity even though all those libs keep passing laws outlawing Jesus. You don't want the gays serving openly in the military. How about gays in gubmint? You like that, don't you? DADT for Texas! Yee Haw!

Michele Bachmann. Hey girl, you really are batshit crazy. What, from that mail order law degree that charlatan Oral Roberts gave you, to your lack of knowledge that working for the IRS isn't really the "private sector", to your wacky cleverisms like "Newt Romney", you really are just eye candy for the tea bagger elders wishing they'd have found you instead being stuck with Edna. The only reason you still exist in this race is because even those same tea bagger elders know a beard when they see one and yep, they think still got a shot with ya!

Rick Santorum. Please pay attention to him. Only in Iowa could this douche nozzle still matter. Pushing his woe is me we christians are so discriminated against bullshit on the homeschoolers is his only salvation. Santorum is that kid nobody wants around, who keeps popping up with his crazy ass philosophy. Shoo, kid, is what the rest of these dopes are saying.

Hey, Barack Obama, it's still working. These easy marks are all still here. Though the bad news about Herman Cain was unfortunate, Newtie and Mittens are still beating the shiite out of each other. Thing are looking good, my friend. If we can keep these Republican fire breathers occupied with their tea parties and poor folks hatred, they may never notice their secret weapon. Shhhhhh, you know, that reasonable guy, the one you appointed as Ambassador to China just to get him the hell out of the country? Shhhhhh, I think he's still out there. I won't mention his name if you won't. These Republicans are so 2nd amendmentee, you'd think they could equate hunting and an activity that men like. You know, I'm one of those hunt men...Figure it out for yourselves. I aint' helping.