You First!

Michelle Bachmann takes the lead, again, in the batshit crazy league. She wants her followers to "slit their wrists, become blood brothers" in the fight against health care for the poor.

Oh please. Please.

Ich Bin Sad!

Back in 1973 or so a high school assignment required we write a short bio of a famous person we admired. Since my parents weren't famous, I wrote a short bio of Ted Kennedy. The teacher at the Catholic school in which I was incarcerated gave me back the paper and told me this man was not acceptable as a hero and to write another bio of somebody else. So I wrote a bio of Abbie Hoffman (which may explain my rocky road through high school).

Ted Kennedy was a hero of mine and I don't give a damn who knows. Rich and privileged and a member of Camelot, the man had every reason to get drunk every night, hang around with loose women and wallow in self indulgence. Well, he did that but he also spent his sober moments championing the rights of the downtrodden. He ramrodded civil rights legislation through the Senate, stopped crazy people like Robert Bork from getting on the Supremes, was a pain in the ass to those power mongers at the top and gave the right hell.

Well it's over now. They're all gone. We are left with pretenders and whores. We are left with weak -spined liberals who are so afraid of those Town Hall cretins they won't do anything even remotely controversial. Ted Kennedy didn't care what those mouth breathers of the right said about him (how many times when you were beating the metaphorical shit out of a Republican in an argument did their face get all red and they suddenly blurted "uhhhhhh Chappaquidick!!).

He's gone now, much to the delight of the nuts who pass as Republican leaders.. Limbaugh had no respect today. Hannity had no respect today. Shame on them for without Teddy, Limbaugh would be wearing short sleeved shirts selling radio advertising for DoucheBag and The Dork in the morning and Hannity would be sitting at some Queens bar trying to get somebody to listen to him yammer on about the evils of flouridated water.

When my Dad first got colon cancer in the 1980's , he was so pissed because that "sonuvabitch Reagan" had it at the same time and everybody kept saying "ohhhh yeah, dats what President Reagan has". Dad beat it. My Dad died at 77 from the same cancer Teddy had. That'll make Dad happy. I hope they can both saunter up to the bar and toast each other. Cheers.

Maybe I'm Crazy For Saying This But....

1) Euthanasia is not always a bad thing. As much death and suffering as I've seen in the last few years, I fully believe that terminally ill people should be allowed to euthanize themselves or have someone else do it for them without fear of jail. Spare me your leave it up to God nonsense for if your God allows people to suffer long, pain-filled horrible deaths before he pulls the heavenly plug, well then he's a prick. Sorry, but that God aint my God.

2) Blastocysts, embryos, stem cells and 8 month along fetuses are not human beings. People who believe that they are human beings are entitled to their opinion but have no right to continue to bully the rest of us with their worship of things they cannot even see. If you don't want Uncle Bill or Grandpa Joe to get potential help from a variety of muscular diseases because of this devotion to things you can't see, well leave it up to them and shut the eff up. If you want to give birth to Trigger Palin you should be admired. If you want to shake your heart to death from Parkinson's Disease without attempting to alleviate your suffering, great, be a martyr. But please, don't tell me or anyone else what to do.

3) Scotland let that Libyan terrorist out of jail on humanitarian grounds and the Libyans celebrated his return to Tripoli with a huge party worthy of a returning hero. So what? It's none of your business, America. It's Scottish law and they can do whatever they want. When Chuck Schumer (D-NY) did a Gomer Pyle and said "shame shame shame" I wanted to tell him to stop sucking up and how dare he shame another country when he lives in one that held mock executions of prisoners, tortured suspects and acts like their poop don't stink. Any court in the U.S. has as much power in Scotland as Judge Judy.

4) Socialism isn't all that scary. Ever notice how the teabaggers and the people who hold up the "socialism sucks" posters seem to be all really old? They drive to their little protests on socialist roads, with socialist speed laws, protected by socialist police and socialist EMT's. They prance around on socialist land, they take their kids and grandkids to socialist parks, send them to socialist schools, and eat food protected by socialist standards. They get their power from socialist utilities and flush their toilets courtesy of socialist sewers and fill up their drinks with scotch and socialist water. Of course, when they get sick, they are happy to present their Medicare card and just love that Socialist Security check. You know what really is scary? Unregulated capitalism.

5) Tiger Woods is the greatest golfer ever. Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player ever. But both are the worst risk takers ever. What do I mean? Back in the old days, certain athletes stood up for something and risked it all. Bill Russell, Jim Brown, Muhammad Ali, Billie Jean King, Dave Kotay, Curt Flood, Jim Bouton, Jackie Robinson. Those folks risked it all. Some lost. Ali told the U.S. government to shove its immoral, illegal war up its keester. Flood gave up his career to stand up to greedy baseball owners. Russell and Brown and Robinson stood up to racists. Kotay came out of the closet before anybody knew there was a closet. Billie Jean didn't take any junk and Bouton told everybody Mickey Mantle was human. Woods and Jordan stand for nothing but money. How much do you two need? Stand up for something. Grow a pair.

White Men In Black!

In case you can't read this, the 51 year old genius is holding up signs saying "Death To Obama" and then tossing in for free, "death to Obama, Michelle, and her two stupid kids". Well the Secret Service is having a talk with this moron now. On second thought, keep Gitmo open.

Can we stop being scared of 18-24 year old minority kids and start fearing 45-64 year old white people?

How About IQ Tests To Own A Gun?

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." Thomas Jefferson 1787.

Wow. I think that guy is threatening to kill a "tyrant". In that small mind of his I would assume the "tyrant" is Barack Obama. Therefore, why isn't this "patriot" doing life in prison for advocating the assassination of the President of the United States? Perhaps this guy, William Kostric, can replace Squeaky Fromme in the federal prison system when she gets out?

Happy 63rd Birthday To You, Mr.President!

I know it's a cheap, juvenile, obvious joke but what the hell.

Hawking A Big Lying Loogie!

These people just get funnier and funnier. Well, not really since this health care reform is a bit more serious than your average right wingnut cause.

I didn't think the sight of that senile old tool screaming for government to stay out of his Medicare could be beat in the maybe euthanasia isn't so crazy after all department. But today, the Investor's Business Daily, in a predictable editorial ranting against health care reform brought up the British National Health Service and how a genius like Stephen Hawking "wouldn't have a chance" in such a government system with all his physical disabilities.

Um, hey IBD, I know Ronald Reagan supposedly read your publication every day, which would explain a helluva lot, but Stephen Hawking is British. He's 67 years old and has lived in Britain his entire life. That's a lie even Bill O'Reilly wouldn't try.

I'm getting a headache just listening to this garbage. Please stop lying, and settle down, President Obama doesn't want to kill little Trigger Palin. Just kill his mother's lies.

Good Big Dog!

I cannot get over it. The Chris Matthews-like tingling up my leg when I saw Bill Clinton look right into the eyes of Euna Lee and Laura Ling at the top of the airliner steps, bite that bottom lip, put his hand on their shoulders and shake their hands with the sincere intentions only the Big Dog can dish out. God, he's good. No wonder we had eight years of peace and prosperity while he ran the ship that is so out of control now.

The fact that the Medicare-sucking mouth breathing thugs who are disrupting Congressional town hall meetings must have had a bit of chest pain over Clinton's triumph made the tingling even better.

Kudos to Barack Obama for hiring Hillary Clinton away from the Senate knowing full well he was getting two for the price of one again. Kudos to Hollywood evil man Steve Bing for footing the bill and making the knuckle draggers look for another reason to grip over the fact Clinton keeps beating them. This is good, just like 1993-2001.