Boys, I Never Ever Lost To Missouri (except when Callahan was my boss)!!

Well , the Huskers don't play this week as they need rest after that barnburner with Las Crusces Community College last week so we can concentrate on another favorite team. The Buffalo Bulls, coached by the guy Bill Callahan ran out of Lincoln, former Husker great Turner Gill, travel to Columbia, Missouri to pick up a paycheck and offer themselves up as an easy win to Missouri, the beast of the Big 12 North. Easy? Not with Turner Gill up against you it isn't. Turner, the guy Tom Osborne wouldn't stick into that sinking ship's captain's chair because he liked him too much, is a great coach. You know how I know that? I know it because Buffalo is an absolutely horrific program. Turner made it no so bad. Coach Gill gets 34 points at Missouri today. We can go 4-0 if his Bulls can cover. They will. Take the points. Missouri is good, but not that good.

Last week San Jose State killed San Diego State by much more than 6 1/2 so we go to 3-0 on the season. Our record:

USC -19 over Virginia WIN

Georgia -24 over Central Michigan WIN

San Jose State -6 1/2 over San Diego State WIN

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Kill The Wodent!

Maybe Islamic cleric Muhammad Al-Munajid is just more of a Daffy Duck sort of guy? It seems ol' Munajid has put out one of those wacky Islamic fatwahs out on the Disney rodent. Kill the Mouse! Well, for once, I actually agree with a religious order. Now if only the Catholics would perform an exorcism on Bill O'Reilly!

Why Can't I Quit You?

I have no idea what's going on here but over 9,000 people, including some females, packed the old Civic Auditorium to watch whatever it is. Ok, I know it's Ultimate Fighting and it's all the rage among the people who have figured out professional wrestling is fake yet think boxing, with all that Marquis of Queensbury rules junk, is for sissies.

Ultimate Fighting is for lack of a better word, a street brawl which would bring the SWAT team running if it happened out on Capitol Avenue. But these 9.000 people, including some females, actually like watching two human beings (I assume) pummel each other into a bloody pulp and crawl around in very homo-erotic positions on the mat. In fact, they get so close I'm surprised Fred Phelps and his inbreds didn't show up to protest.

Watching it in bits and pieces on the Spike (how manly) Channel, I have concluded that the sport not only suffers from a brutality only a true sadist could enjoy, but it also suffers from the ultimate sin. It's freakin' boring. Once the two doofuses in the octagon hit the floor and start crawling on each other it turns into real wrestling. The kind with singlets and headgear and really short squat guys, not the steroidfest with the huge actors. Let me tell you one thing. If there's another sport in the world that is more sleep inducing, ok golf is worse, it has to be wrestling. I know because I've participated in it. I wrestled for a few weeks in high school. It bored me when I was actually fending off some mouth breather checking my oil, so I can't imagine watching it.

Some say it's illegal under Nebraska law. Really? Punching a guy in the face, kicking him in the taint, choking the life out of him is illegal? I'll bet the 9,000 people, including some females, would want the government out of the ass-kicking business. That is, if they knew there was some sort of government.

Who's That Old Man Standing Next To My Sarah?

What is the problem with you white women? You favor McSame and the Governor of an Iceberg by a 53%-37% margin. Just because the old man dipped into the shallow water and plucked out a sneering, smarmy , sarcastic, pathological liar named Sarah you white chicks begin to swoon like he'd picked George Clooney or something. Oh , she looks like us. Oh, she reminds me of my friends. Oh, she reminds me of me. I have news for you. Who the hell wants your friends, or for that matter, you, being anywhere close to the "nukular" button? Come on , white babes, think. Start thinking. Get over the initial pride and start to analyze the situation. Sarah Palin isn't like you. She doesn't remind you of your friends, unless your choice in friends tends toward the back stabbing shrew.

I would expect white men, who are known boneheads, trust me on this, I am one, to think Sarah Palin's a hot commodity. In fact, white ladies, they like her because they think they could go hunting with her and on the way home impregnate her for the sixth time. White men are notorious blockheads, just think Bill O'Reilly, and blockheads vote Republican. So please, white women, start to think. She represents everything you've fought for years. Don't let Bill O'Reilly and your similar pinheaded husbands get their way.

The country needs you to save it.

Fire Chuck Long!

Oh the good old days before Smiley and his Super Bowl losing coach came to town and pissed all over a storied program. Today, the former storied program continues its Bully Back To Prominence Tour with some team from Mexico coming to town. Considering last week's almost loss to Saint Joseph (which would have been a loss if the Super Bowl coach had still been in place) and the fact the Mexican team is just terrible, Bo should squeak out another win and continue as the greatest coach in Husker history. But just remember, Bo, 75% sucks, better keep that 100% win percentage going or you'll be back home wandering the sidelines with the best coach the MAC has ever seen.

Last week's investment came through when Georgia stomped the middle of Michigan into the ground so we are 2-0. Today's wager, errrr, investment features the aforementioned St. Joseph or San Jose State as it is known on campus and San Diego State. Last week San Jose held its own with Bo and the boys from Lincoln and San Diego State disgraced itself by losing to that sad, decrepit team from South Bend, the Drunken Irish of Notre Dame. Absolutely disgraceful, Chuck Long. So this week give the 6 1/2 points and see San Jose State roll. Notre Dame? You lost to Notre Dame?

Hermano Feliz De Cumpleaños!

He's lucky I didn't use the picture I wanted to use. Happy Birthday to Kevin!

Full Breed Cretins For McCain!

As if it wasn't depressing enough already, this "voter" in Florida decides to advertise his IQ on his front lawn. Either that or he thinks Barak is a Wal Mart brand cotton fabric. No, sorry, Republicans, it's not available in bulk. The sign, that is.