Being in the 73rd largest media market in America and on the border of Iowa. for some reason still the first say the nation has in determining the nominee of the Republican Party, we have been inundated with political ads since last summer. Usually airing during national and local network news and Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune, these ads get tiresome quickly. Not only filled with bullshit, but outright lying on behalf of various candidates, these ads are aimed at old people, yeah that's about it (who else watches network and local news?). They began in the summer of 2023 and were exclusively made by PACS (thanks Supreme Court), generally for Ron DeSantis, the lip licker from Florida with the I want to be a real boy grin. The way these ads went, DeSantis is the future because he turned Florida into a fascist paradise, hates woke (whatever that is), and "won" every battle he ever waged. He was turned into a war hero (serving as a military lawyer and torture advocate) with a picture of Ron the Con holding a weapon. DeSantis' PAC spent a lot of money last summer and fall to not take the lead.
When the Koch Brothers took on the Nikki Haley campaign as the so called "moderate" polite candidate, the ads became the same old bullshit, fascism with a smile and a bony finger point. Haley was that nice lady who had a stern voice when she was challenged. Kind of that school principal who tells you how disappointed she is in you. Haley surged into double figures. barely.
Now that the main event is within striking distance, enter the Sasquatch candidate, Donald Trump, Without a positive bone in his flabby body, Trump immediately went on the attack in his ads. Ron DeSantis copies me, DeSantis would be a nobody without me. DeSantis is lame. Aways ending with a slo mo shot of the lumbering Bigfoot with his thumbs up, Trump's ads became monotonous.
He then shifted to attack Joe Biden in more ads. Lots of brown people in crowds. all assumed to be terrorists. then shit blowing up as they're not only terrorists they are Hamas and look to explode a bunch of stuff. Ya know, vote for Joe and your pickle ball court will go up in flames. BOOM!
Nikki Haley attacks DeSantis and Biden in her ads. Biden is too old. Nikki is the new generation. Again, same old fascist shit with a younger face, but her finger pointing looks better than a thumbs up? And she doesn't rumble like a 1916 tank on the Western Front. Haley also cites a poll showing her beating Biden by 14 points (best part is the Fox News moron exclaiming 14 points that's not even close...gee really Einstein?) She wants cognitive tests, age limits. term limits and whatever the Kochs want I guess. Not one of which has even a zero percent chance of being law. But Haley and her alleged genteel manner is supposed to appeal to who exactly? I am not sure.
The one common denominator here among Haley and DeSantis is their utter cowardice in passing on attacking the Iron Giant. They refuse to attack Trump. They attack each other. I'm not sure why this race for 2nd place is so appealing to them. By not attacking the staggering elephant these two are showing two things. A lack of seriousness and utter fealty to a dictatorial wannabe. And of course, the unwillingness to subject themselves, their families, their staffers, their friends to the death threats and violent rhetoric of the MAGA morons. I get it, but c'mon now, you aren't slaying the lumbering diaper shitter without putting up with return fire, as stupid as it may be.
But it's almost over. In a little more than a week, white Iowa "Christians" will gather at schools and churches and anoint their orange God. Then it will be over, and the ads will move on to New Hampshire and Iowa can go back to being the provincial insecure Midwesterners they always are.
Then it's also back to TV ads for boner pills, stair lifts and life alerts. Normal.
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