The old George Carlin bit about the planet will be fine its people who are fucked I resisted for years. Cynics like me are much like him, scratch our surface and what lies beneath is a disappointed idealist. But his bit about the planet was particularly sharp. Who wants to believe it? Well, since this virus has brought out so many heroes and truly caring people, its the loudmouths who get the attention. Its these assholes that get under your skin. Its these selfish pricks who make you wish for a human extinction.
Michigan Militia members are beginning to make me think Michigan has a lot of necks. Ive been to Michigan a few times and thought the place was a nice pretty place. Well, Ive been to Lansing, Ann Arbor and Detroit. Not the "real" Michigan. Oh yeah "real Michiganders" burned school buses back in the 1970s when they were appalled by the possibility of their little gun nuts having go to school with not "real Michiganders". Their little gun nut children have grown up to be chips off the old block and possibly worse. These gun toting kooks are openly threatening the life of Governor Gretchen Whitmer, and any other Michigan lawmaker who attempts to ban guns from the statehouse. Lynchings, firing squads, beheadings, assassinations ya know all them thangs gun totin white people like to do when they sense danger to their privilege. Theres another nervous breakdown happening on Thursday in Lansing and promises to be even more crazy than last time. Lets hope by then things have calmed down and these white idiots too stupid to keep death threats under their hoods are already in jail.
The Lakota Nation of South Dakota has posted checkpoints on state highways to keep the virus spreaders off the reservation. We all know the history of palefaces giving the Native Americans smallpox infested blankets, spreading all sorts of disease and sometimes just murdering them cuz why not? South Dakota Governor
Polar Cave Ice Cream Parlour in Mashpee Mass decide to open for Mothers Day weekend with all the social distancing rules and a rule that in order to get served place your goddamned order an hour in advance. well in this time of fuck you all that counts is me of course this turned into a giant Polar Ice Cap meltdown. People showed up with no advance orders, screamed at employees for actually having to wait because of constitutional rights and shit, and caused the place to shut down. They also caused a 17 year old girl, who had worked there for 3 years to save money for college to say thats it, I hate humanity and quit. The owner felt so bad he started a Go Fund Me for her upcoming college $100K debt that Mitch McConnell gets stiffies over.
Speaking of Go Fund Me. Seems that Shelley Luther, the "destitute" Hero Hairdresser of Dallas who opened her salon and subsequently got thrown in jail by a black judge fed up with entitled white blonde ladies who think rules dont apply to them had a nice little scam going prior to whining about feeding her kids. A Go Fund Campaign grifting dumb conservatives out of $500,000 for her "legal expenses" and some really great vacations and cars I assume. Oh yeah and she got one of those PPP loans so she can keep as long as she forks it over to her employees. So Shelley Luther is rolling in cash, But not all is well since she had to cut some Canadian Cuban named Rafael Cruz's hair and somehow made it worse. Seems that right wing constitutional rights enthusiasts should stop falling for every blonde con artist who comes along. Maybe they could afford another gun.
Humanity is fucked due to an Orange Goo Face who cant stop tripping over his cotton candy weave. It seems in our last days we could at least be nice to each other. Be nice, except to psychos who refuse to wear masks as some sort of Hey Im Stupid And Proud statement. Those idiots we at least know will be extinct just a few days before we are so thats something right?
Carlin was right. People are fucked.
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