Whole Lotta Crazy Goin' On!

All right, it's CPAC time again and though I expect nothing as hideous as the sight of El Rushbo hopping up and down like last year, the events thus far are getting close. We had Dick Cheney, S&M dungeonmaster, getting his jollies by talking about torture yet again? Tim Pawlenty, 2012 GOP nominee, starting up the engines of future obscurity by humping the leg of crazies and making Elin Woods' references? Some wingnut named Jason Mattera making cocaine "jokes" about Obama? I wonder how the rehab enthusiast, Glenn Beck, feels about THAT guy? Mario Rubio, the straight guy running for the Florida Republican Senate nomination against Charlie H Crist, hammering Obama for using a teleprompter while using a, uhhhhhh, teleprompter? Jed Babbin, some Human Events (that still exists?) lackey, making jokes about a teabagger who flew into a IRS building and killed people? And there's more wacky things to come? I cannot wait.

But so far my favorite moment came from Ryan Sorba, a Young Americans For Freedom (that still exists?) dinosaur. Mr.Sorba, who seems to have a penchant for posing for pictures with no shirt on (what is it with the GOP and naked men all of a sudden?), strutted to the stage, chewing gum and looking all buff to impress the babes, and proceeded to rant about the inclusion of some organization called GOProud at the Nut Conference. GOProud is gay, and Republican. Mr.Sorba, author of a book questioning birth, hollered a lot and challenged booing crowd members to fights, and did a lot of pointing at his perceived enemies. Calm down there, tough guy. You got taken down by a bunch of lesbians at Smith College a while back so knock the Liddy stuff off.

I guess I should give some of CPACers credit for being able to recognize a swaggering bully and booing his ass off stage, but these are also the same people who invited the John Birch Society (now I really thought they didn't exist anymore) to attend. So I really can't.

This little incident raises so many questions in my mind. Should I really be more angry at a shirtless, pseudo hard ass like Sorba or be more angry at anybody who joins GOProud? What the hell are you idiots doing? All that's been proven is GOProuders can boo louder than the rest of the tin foil hatted attendees can cheer. Or maybe that nerdy GOProuders don't understand half the waterboarding enthusiasts who cheered Cheney and booed Bob Barr would go all Uganda on your asses if given the chance. Wake up GOProuders. They hate you. Sorba spoke when most of them were out in the lobby buying Ann Coulter calendars and masturbating to Jack Bauer highlight tapes.

Anyway, today's speakers include Glenn Beck and Joe The Plumber (he still exists?). It's just too bad that the CPACers won't get the hear the man they most want to listen to. That being Joe the Pilot (and thank goodness he doesn't exist any longer).