Johnny Be Bad!

Oh Johnny! You survived a plane crash or two. You got the shite beat out of you while captive back in Vietnam. You toughed it out when Karl Rove and his slime machine trashed you in 2000. You survived 3 months of that nitwit from the north you unleashed on the country. You made it through getting your ass handed to you by a political neophyte back in 2008. In other words, Johnny, you used to be one tough son of a bitch. But now, oh Johnny, you've been turned into a spineless little nancy boy by some corrupt ex-congressman who dares to take you on in a primary? What? Wha happened?

John McCain is running for re-election to the Senate this year in Arizona. He is being challenged by two folks who apparently have made Johnny shake in his orthopedics. J.D. Hayworth scares John McCain. Hayworth is a former House member who took so much money from Jack Abramoff, the sleazy lobbyist doing time in the big house, that the normally Republican district Hayworth used to eat buffets in threw his corrupt ass out of office. Hayworth lost a bunch of weight and went into a more corrupt field than politics, right wing talk radio. Can this guy hit the terrible trifecta and become an insurance company spokesman after McCain sends him back to Palookaville?

But Hayworth, radio guy after all , will do anything and whore with anybody for a buck and the teabaggers have the buck. Yeah, those nuts with the funny signs, the teabags hanging off their big hats, and the 1950's vision like ol' J.D. This despite the shady way Hayworth does business. Taking money from Jack Abramoff, paying his wife with PAC money, being named the biggest blowhard in Congress. This Limbaugh clone is everything wrong with politics.

But John McCain, the guy who spent years in a POW camp being tortured and maimed, is scared of this guy and his misfit followers? Well he must be because in the past few months, McCain has become for torture after he was against it, he's for gay marriage bans after he was against it, he's for Guantanamo after he was against it, he's against the environment before he was for it, he's for Bush's tax cuts before he was against it, he is against the bailout before he was for it. For the love of Meghan McCain, Johnny is spinning like a windmill.

Please, John. Get ahold of yourself. Hayworth and the teabaggers are a nuisance for sure, but compared to the Hanoi Hilton and a creep like Karl Rove, they are gnats buzzing your head. Slap yourself back to reality and kill that gnat. I know it's tough, the latest poll shows you in a razor-tight 53% to 31% race. It's that close! 53 to 31. Hayworth can taste the food at Dupont Circle already. 53 to 31! A 22 point lead, John? Are you really that big of a moral leper to give up your soul because of a band of racists and their blowhard cabana boy?