Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Is 0.0 Your GPA Or Your IQ?

Back in the 70's when I went away to college, several times during the summer prior, young men would call me to ask me if I was going to "pledge"? Pledge? Pledge what? Your undying loyalty to a group of men who will humiliate you, assault you, violate you, and make you pay for this honor? No thanks, I would politely reply. One hollered "Loser" into the phone before he ran away.

I never really understood the whole fraternity thing. A group of maniacs living in a crap hole house, drinking and hollering and playing loud music all the while with an aura of superiority oozing out of their booze addled pores. I didn't need to learn how to drink. I could learn it on my own. Anyway, it was the 70's. Greeks were The Man. They were elitist a-holes who stood up at Bill Kunstler speeches and screamed for him to "love it or leave it". They voted for Jerry Ford and thought Nixon was railroaded by the liberal media. They listened to REO Speedwagon & KISS for chrissakes.

Well apparently nothing has changed. The Sigma Chi fraternity house down in Lincoln has been busted for a variety of offenses that would put most of us in jail. It seems these upstanding "brothers" decided that abusing the handcuffed and blindfolded "pledges" by sticking vibrating objects into their orifices was somehow unifying. Lists of behavior that would cause a normal person to question the perpetrators sanity is commonplace. Sigma Chi has been suspended and kicked off campus by Dean Wormer as of now.

Hey I remember pathetic behavior indulged in by me during the college years. Some of it bordered on illegal. In fact, a lot of it was illegal, technically. But never once did I hurt anybody but me. I never thought forcing a blindfolded drunk to drink Tabasco sauce or sticking a hot dog in his mouth was all that amusing. But then I guess I'm a drip.

By the way, not for one second do I think Sigma Chi is alone. The rest of you bozos are engaged in the same homo-erotic hi jinks the night before you march around the Capitol to oppose gay marriage. Hey fellas, you aren't prison guards. The pledges aren't prisoners. Oh hell, what am I talking about? These future Chamber of Commerce types like it. What's that they say about scratching the surface? It's ugly down there.


Jack Jodell said...

If you ask me, frat boys always were, and always will be, losers. I was never a big fan of "PLO Chuckwagon" or KISS either.

Project Christopher said...

yep.... and it's so perpetuating too. Someone who's endured that isn't about to let a new pledge class come through without retaliation.

Burr Deming said...

Wow. Excellent takedown.

If I ever tick you off, I have only one request:

Give me a chance to apologize.