He's Too Heavy, He's My Kid!

Sometime last year, one of those young girls, so frightened by their religious upbringing, so frightened by what their parents would say or do, hid her pregnancy for 9 months, had the baby in a bathroom, and dropped the newborn off in laundry basket at a local hospital. In 49 states, this desperate action could have been avoided because they all have safe haven laws, which make it legal for someone to drop a newborn at a safe place so it doesn't end up in a dumpster while Mom boogies at the Prom. Nebraska had no such law so what this young girl did was a crime. So Nebraska, bringing up the rear as usual, decided to do something about it.

The Nebraska Legislature, a one body house, a group of 48 rich ranchers, farmers and lawyers and one barber named Ernie_Chambers who kept them in line put their empty heads together and came up with a Safe Haven Law. The final version of the law, passed out of committee and onto the floor of the unicameral over the objections of the barber, was passed 48-1. It stated that it was now legal to drop a newborn off at a safe place, like a hospital, right up until the newborn was 18. No, not 18 days, or 18 months, but 18 years. The barber, as he's always said since 1970, proclaimed "you will be sorry".

Well, the Barber was correct as usual. The rest of the nation is now using Nebraska as a dog pound. 21 teenagers have been dumped in the last two months by people who can't handle them any longer. One mother drove from Michigan to dump a 14 year old she didn't want any longer. It's getting ridiculous. Even for Nebraska.

Our chinless, diminutive Governor seems to think it's not all that big of a deal. He's too busy keeping 63 year old educators with bad reputations like Bill Ayers (gasp!) out of the state to do anything about this nationwide dumping of kids on our doorstep.

So come on, America, got a smart assed kid you screwed up through lousy parenting? Dump them here in Nebraska. Never mind that Boystown is already here, just drop them off at the hospital and head back home and maybe you can catch the new episode of Super Nanny.