Eat Shiite And Get Really Sick Already!

Do you enter death pools? They seem so ghoulish and wrong and about the only thing I do believe in is karma. Coming my way, of course, not going the other way. So I enter death pools but really only hope the people get really sick and can't take part in their chosen profession any longer whether it be politics, war crimes, terrorism or being a big bully. Earlier this year I entered a death pool and named it Feel Good Dead People. I now take it back and rename it Feel Good Really Sick People. These 10 people deserve to get really sick and bedridden until they have a Lee Atwater-like conversion to decency. I am not confident.

10) O J Simpson- this guy needs to get really sick to the point his head falls off. The Heisman Trophy winner and former Bill needs to go extinct, much like the Heisman Trophy and the Bills.

9) Dick Cheney- Dr.Evil is a despicable politician and an even more despicable human being. He needs to get really sick to the point where somebody orders the Air Force to blow him out of the sky. Riiiiiight!

8) Osama Bin Laden- this one is so easy I am embarrassed I even put him on here. I actually do want him to die. Light that mangy beard on fire and turn off his dialysis machine already.

7) Aribert Heim- you probably have no idea who this creep is. He is a 94 year old Nazi war criminal living in Chile with his daughter for chrissakes. How hard can it be to go make this putz get really sick? A long time ago he liked to inject gasoline directly into the hearts of Jews and see if they got good mileage or something. I know the Mossad is pretty busy, but how much can it cost to make a side trip to Chile for some R&R and give this schmuck a free fill up?

6) Karl Rove- we all know this traitorous perjurer is the man responsible for every crime committed by this putrid administration since 2001. This dork needs to get really sick and make a trip to The Hague to take over Slobadan Milosevic's old cell.

5) Vince McMahon- this guy is so roided out both physically and ethically, for him to take a real life pile driver would be fitting justice. He is responsible for more deaths of more young athletes
than Madonna. Maybe that old lady can pay Vince a visit soon. Just sing a little Borderline. It always made me pretty sick.

4) Ann Coulter- this bony babe is the fantasy chick of every young budding Nazi with one hand on the keyboard and the other one thrust straight out in front of them. Besides being bulimic, this smoking, drinking skank is a fraudulent voter registrant, anti-Semite, not funny and a close personal friend of that flathead Sean Hannity. Too stay as skinny as she is, she must already be really sick.

3) Bill O'Reilly- this bullying blowhard serial sexual harrasser needs for somebody to kick his Irish ass. That's the only thing 58 year old punks like him understand. So, please, somebody make him real sick right now. Take his phone away. That oughta do it.

2) Barry Bonds- oh what an endearing home run king the bald, zit backed, huge headed domestic abuser he is. This nasty man actually took the home run title from a guy who not only put up with racial hatred, but hit 755 homers at about 190 pounds. PumpkinHead, who once pushed a porn star girlfriend down a flight of stairs, and used his kid to shield himself from questioning about his fondness for "flax seed oil", needs to pay the price for soiling my favorite sport. Somebody stick a pin in his noggin and deflate him real soon.

1) Sayyid Muqtada al-Sadr- the Charlie Manson of Iraq is a royal pain in the ass. He is yet another leader getting by because of his old man. This guy was nothing but another George W Bush until his father was whacked by Saddam back in the late 90's. Then W, errrr, the mullah, gave up the video games and beer, and took over the old man's business, conning the morons. Al Sadr needs to get real sick soon, preferably a fight to the finish involving him and W and two kegs of Old Baghdad beer.