Things That Make Me Go Doh!

There was another "assassination" attempt on The Felon. This "assassination" attempt occurred Sunday when some career criminal who ranted about wanting cowardly Nikki Haley and the dumb guy's idea of a smart guy, Vivek Ramaswamy, to be the GOP ticket instead of Trump showed up in Florida. So, he camped outside Mar A Dumpo for 12 hours with a commie weapon (AK47), took a shot at Trump playing golf, oh no wait, he didn't shoot at anybody, was arrested and now is where he belongs, in a Florida gulag. But the right-wing echo chamber has taken up the bullshit and accused the "assassin" of being a left-wing nut because of course that's what they do. Lie. Facts are facts. There was no assassination attempt. The only shots fired were from the Secret Service and Trump was never in danger except for the hooks and shanks that his golf shots tend to be. Meanwhile the least funny man on Earth or Mars, Elmo Musk, tweeted out asking why nobody was taking shots at Kamala followed by the thinking emoji. It was a joke cmon now. Musk is a weirdo.

Springfield, Ohio cant catch a break. They have become the focus of this week's obsessive media after the infamous "They're eating dogs" debate moment that will live forever as Trump's legacy. Of course, nobody is eating cats and dogs or geese or ducks or zoo animals in Springfield, Ohio. This is a subject created by some racist white lady who really doesn't like seeing black people in her town. Wow, she never ever thought it would go national and have a demented presidential candidate go down her rabbit hole and thus deleted it and hid. The fact is in 2018 (Trump years) 20,000 Haitian legal immigrants moved into Springfield to accept the jobs no white people want to do. But facts don't matter to scummy opportunists like Trump and his loyal hillbilly sidekick, J D Vance. They just keep saying it. Meanwhile, poor Springfield is closing schools and city offices and churches because of MAGA nuts calling in bomb threats on a daily basis. It's what they do. Disrupt. Look for more of the same on November 5th when these same MAGAt kooks phone bomb threats to polling places in Democratic precincts. It's gonna happen, Springfield is a dry run.

Ben Sasse was a United States Senator from Nebraska. The guy was an OG GOP weirdo. He sold Runzas at football games, he drove Ubers and secretly thought he would be President someday. But alas, after winning re-election in 2020, because of course he has that R next to his name and here in Nebraskastan that's' all you need to win office, Sasse went rogue and voted to convict Trump of high crimes and misdemeanors. This caused a backlash among the cult. Sasse decided it was time to make money and left the Senate to become head of the Florida University system. Meanwhile back here in the "Stan", newly elected R next to his name Governor Jim Pillen, who's main claim to fame was falling on a fumble in 1978 while playing football at Nebraska, appointed his mentor and chief financial backer, former Governor Pete Ricketts to fill Sasse's seat. Now among the conspiracy minded, the fact that Sasse left to work for Ron DeSantis, and Rickett's financial backing of Pillen, that all of this was pre-planned. Anyway, back on track, Sasse recently left that job in Florida after it was revealed that Ben liked to parrrrrrrrrtay on the taxpayer's dime. Lavish parties, fund raising events and hiring his cronies to work remotely from DC at salaries unbecoming a Republican hack. Sasse was a drunken trust fund kid spending Daddy's money, just like Ricketts. Go Big Red!

Finally, Ohio parent Nathan Clark, who lost his 11-year-old son, Aiden,  to a tragic school bus accident a year or so ago, has enough to deal with. The death of his child, and now the using of Aiden's name to score political points for the anti-immigrant racists. You see, the school bus was run off the road by a Haitian immigrant, which to the GOP ratfuckers is nothing but an opportunity to scare white people. Nathan Clark read a statement at a council meeting in which he said Hey, stop demonizing Haitians and stop using Aiden's name to unfairly bash them as a whole. Nathan spoke about his sons legacy, the vomiting of racism by Republicans and how Aiden loved everybody and was curious about other people's culture. But that didn't stop Vance and Trump who care about nobody but themselves. Aiden Clark is just another prop to Senator Eye Liner and his boss, the 34 times convicted felon and sexual assaulter. They are soulless scum just as we all know.

How the fuck is this race close?