Super Duper Tuesday!

 It was Super Duper Tuesday yesterday and the "liberal" news media couldn't have had a bigger stiffy pantingly reporting that Trump destroyed Haley and that Joe Biden lost Samoa by a total of 50-41. Not percentage, that's the total number of votes but wow they'll tell you how that is a fatal blow to Biden cuz he's old and feeble and lost Samoa, the 54th state or whatever.  

Now back here on Earth, Biden won everything and so did Trump and that is going to be your matchup in November despite the dreamers who see Michelle Obama and Nikki Haley facing off cuz Trump will be in prison and Biden will be at deaths door. Nikki Haley won a primary again. She took Vermont but who cares cuz all that live there are tree hugging commies. Haley is through, officially. But as of yet hasn't returned to cowardly form and endorsed the Defendant (oh she will at some point if for no other reason than to stop death threats from the culty goons). So, it's all over, despite the crushing death blow that Joe Biden suffered in American Samoa by losing to (check notes) Jason Palmer? It's gonna be a long 8 months.

In other states.

California decided to nominate Adam Schiff and human stud Steve Garvey to be on the ballot for the US Senate to replace Diane Feinstein, who passed away I think in about 2017 or so. Now Katie Porter dropped the whiteboard by underperforming so badly she finished 3rd by a lot. Porter blamed Schiff for pumping up Garvey in ads cuz he seemed easier to beat than her. Yeah ok. Hell, if Garvey's children got together and voted in a bloc, he'd win easily but I'm sure there's a few out there who have no idea who Daddy Steve is. Thus, congratulations to Senator Adam Schiff.

Meanwhile, in North Carolina, Republican voters nominated a goddamned loony bird as their party candidate for Governor. It's like GOP voters walk into a voting booth and say, who's the worst human being on the ballot that will hurt me, but it'll make the libs so mad I will have joy for a minute or two. Mark Robinson is that man. A jumbo-sized yeller of crazy shit, he appeals directly to assholes who also support the other jumbo-sized yeller. Robinson calls gays "filth" wants trans genders arrested, calls Michelle Obama a man, baby, quotes Hitler on social media, thinks the rainbow flag is a "spit in the face of God", called Stoneham mass shooting survivors "spoiled little bastards", and admits to his poor suffering wife had an abortion but nobody else should be allowed to do the same. In other words, he's a typical MAGA goon. And oh yeah, he's an anti Semite which makes it sweet because Democrats nominated the state's attorney general, Josh Stein, to be his opponent. So yeah North Carolina rednecks, you have the choice between a black bootlicker and a Jewish guy. Congrats on the progress you never intended. Also, congrats to Governor Josh Stein.

In Texas, Colin Allred was nominated to take on Ted Cruz. I have very little hope that Texas will actually send Cruz packing to Cancun whenever he wants, but Colin Allred, an ex-NFL player, and current congressman, has a shot. But, like Beto O'Rourke, there may just be too many Latinos unwilling to vote and rural whites beating down the door to vote. So I believe Cruz loses when I see it. And I hate Ted Cruz and want him to lose so bad I'd become a Cowboys fan if it meant he loses.

So now we face 8 months of insanity and Democratic fingernail chewing. My advice to counter the authoritarianism I always knew a certain portion of America truly wanted is to attack attack attack! Fuck that Michelle Obama go high bullshit. Its rolling in the gutter time fellow democracy lovers. Abort the GOP in November by screeching abortion right in their faces.

Courage!