The Lion King!

 I am not by any means a Disney fan. In fact, until Ron DeSantis picked a stupid fight with them, I thought Disney was a cult. Well, it is, but they also are harmless, unless taking your money and holding you hostage pisses one off. 

The Lion King is in Omaha for one more week after opening a month ago. I've never seen it; Max's Mom and Max have so it was my turn. I expected nothing other than typical Disney over the top entertainment I was ready to hate it. Oops. I loved it.

The familiar story of the King Mufasa, the evil Scar, the young Simba and Nala, the grown-up Simba and Nala, the comic relief of the parrot Zazu, the wise cracking warthog Pumbaa and the even wiser cracking cat Timon, along with the crazy hyenas. The story is murder, a power grab, a flight to safety, and the return to claim a rightful crown. Thats it.

The spectacle of the set, the costumes, the animals, the puppeteers, it is really mind boggling. From the opening of the familiar chant from the storyteller Rifiki, and the parade of characters down the aisle, I was hooked. Enchanted maybe. I watched in wonder, and I really have no wonder any longer. There were fewer songs than I thought. But the music was constant, including drummers in the Lincoln seats right in front of us, including a brief appearance by Zazu. It's a freakin must see.

The performances were great. Peter Hargrave as the evil Scar has a deep and powerful voice. Gerald Ramsey as Mufasa has a sense of power onstage during his Act One only scenes. But the unsung heroes of this massive production are Mukelisiwe Goba as Rafiki and 10-year-old Mase Lawson as the young Simba. Goba's chanting and singing, and narration is something you cannot get enough of. And this kid, Mase, is a phenom in his powerful voice and is even better acting. You will be hearing from him. Christ, he's only 10?

There's only 4 days left to see this. As a professional Disney cynic, they finally beat me. Beat me like a drum.

Oscar Night!

 Its Oscar night. At least it starts early, huh? I've seen all 10 of the Best Picture nominees all of which were a pleasant experience and though I enjoyed some more than others, at least I come from experience in rating them. So, let's go.

Oppenheimer is brilliant as is virtually all movies made by Chriostopher Nolan. The story of Robert Oppenheimer, the man who pushed America to develop the atomic bomb before the Nazis, ya know bac when America hated Nazis. It covers it all, his youth, his relationship with Einstein, his personal life, his black listing and his regrets. It truly is a masterful work.

Poor Things features acting chops from Emma Stone, Mark Ruffalo and Willem Dafoe. Unfortunately, I found the actual story to be lacking like every other film made by weirdo director Yorgos Lanthimos. The story of a highly sexualized sort of Frankenstein's monster becomes a story of yeah yeah I get it. And yes, a guy gets turned into a goat. But Emma Stone is fantastic in it.

Barbie was a pleasant surprise. The Greta Gerwig directed story of a doll was so much more. Featuring Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling, it's a real feminist screed. Much like Taylor Swift, young girls loved this movie and for that I'm fine with. Girls need role models like Barbie, Caitlin Clark and Taylor Swift. What they don't need is Katie Britt.

Zone of Interest is a Holocaust movie without the Holocaust. No violence takes place onscreen. The story of the camp commandant and his family simply going thru life as millions die within yards of their house. The indifference and the utter disdain for Jews (the house maids are ignored as if they didn't exist). It's all in German and after a while you realize how important that is. And it features a black lab in virtually every scene. The dog deserves a Canine Oscar.

Anatomy of a Fall is the story of a dead husband, a wife suspected of his murder, a marriage in deep trouble and the resulting effects on a deaf child. Did she kill him, did she not? You have to decide. And yet another dog stealing scenes. Doggie Oscar 2.

American Fiction is the story of an unsuccessful black writer who on a lark writes a script with every black stereotype imaginable. It becomes a hit much to his chagrin. The white condescension is really the point as the white liberals kiss his ass. The point is basically hammered home. Jeffrey Wright is wonderful as aways. 

The Holdovers is Alexander Payne's best film. Story of a bitter private school professor stuck looking after the holdovers during Christmas break. The holdovers being the kids with no hime to go back to, much like him. Paul Giamatti should get a lifetime achievement Oscar as well as an apology for not being nominated more often. The guy is fucking great in anything he does. But Da'Vine Joy Randolph as the grieving mother of a dead kid killed in 'Nam who comes to bond with them all is a godsend.

Killers of the Flower Moon is important to see as its a little-known history of white men breaking promises to the Native Americans of Oklahoma. Put em on the dead ass unfarmable land and when oil is discovered move in, kill them and steal the oil. The story of America. Lili Gladstone as the wife of Leonardo DiCaprio and her obvious pain is brilliant. Does he love her or is she simply there to murder her and take her money? She's Oscar bound.

Maestro isn't nearly as important as it thinks it is. Yes, it's a good story of the conflicted Leonard Bernstein, but it's also self-important and over the top. Bradley Cooper has made a good movie here, but not a great one.

Past Lives is one of those human stories that everybody can love. The story of a Korean immigrant who left her childhood friend behind and moves on with her life. Marrying a man and living a new life. But her childhood buddy can't let her go. When he finds her online, they begin the relationship in a new light, and he decides to visit her. What results is jealousy, heartbreak, self-doubt and finality. The ending is heartbreaking. This movie was my favorite of the ten.

Ok that's it. But what were my Top Ten of 2023? Presented without comment.

10) Dumb Money

9) You Hurt My Feelings

8) Killers of the Flower Moon

7) American Fiction

6) Anatomy of a Fall

5) The Holdovers

4) Oppenheimer

3) Zone of Interest

2) Past Lives

1) Godzilla Minus One

Yes, Godzilla was a masterpiece that I enjoyed more than any of them. Past Lives I've watched 3 times. It's this year's Moonlight. 

Honorable Mention.

Quiz Lady, Somewhere in Queens, Taylor Swift the Eras Tour, Rustin, Yogi, Freedoms Path, The Starling Girl , The Blackening, Reality, and The Beekeeper. 

Google em and watch.

Onward to tonight.

Killer Joe!

 Sleepy Joe became the Scranton Slugger last night. Dodging and countering, handling the Republican hecklers like a professional standup comedian, speaking for 68 minutes without a breath. Senile my ass. Cognitively impaired my ass. Joe is sharp and determined and ready to take on the Florida Fraud in a phone booth if necessary.

In fact he was so on target, the Republicans were taken aback. Thus, the talking point became instead of Dementia Joe, he became Drug Addict Joe. What's he on? Did he let Hunter coke him up? In fact, down at Bed Bug A Lago, the Defendant said in full caps as usual, "THE DRUGS ARE WEARING OFF!" Now I have no idea if the Mar A Lago Moron meant he needed more Adderall, was shouting out to Captain Doctor Ronny Jackson to refill his prescription, or simply had a senior moment.

Joe Biden won the night right at the beginning. No not because he joked he should leave, but walking down the aisle shaking hands he suddenly came upon the sight of a red hatted clown named Marge. Marge was dressed like a carnival barker running a con on the rubes. Red MAGA hat, Say Her Name button, red jacket over a white t shirt, Marge tried for attention so hard that Biden looked at her and reacted like he just saw a clown which of course he did. A whoaaaaa look, and she turned back into a loudmouth pumpkin knowing she lost that one. It was over. Disarming the screeching baboon from NW Georgia aint easy for much younger people since she just keeps screaming, but Old Joe took her ammo away and shoved it up her ass.

Fightin Joe took on the GOP and without naming him once, Trump (which I'm sure really triggered the old rapey bastard). Ukraine, drug prices, tax cuts for billionaires, the border bill the House GOP killed, democracy, NATO, Putin, MAGA, Jan 6th, Israel, Gaza, and abortion. Looking straight the Supreme Court Trump hacks, he addressed presidential immunity and Roe V Wade. The Republicans screeched he "threatened" the Court. Oh, my stars, he's senile, no he's a thug, no he's on drugs, no no no. GOP heads exploded.

Scrappy Joe ended the speech with an age joke that even cracked up Lindsey Graham (and I saw you grin, Mike Lee). 

Now the hecklers. Wisconsin House drunk and teenager harasser, Derrik Van Orden screamed "lies". Ok not real clever, but classy as always. Then came Marge, who hollered "Say Her Name", in reference to Laken Riley, an unfortunate young woman murdered by some guy who was here illegally in Georgia. Comic Joe said her name, offered his condolences, and offered to speak with the family. Large Marge was put in the corner with a dunce cap replacing her red MAGA hat. Some maniac in the gallery screeched about Afghanistan. And Lame Duck Lauren Boebert was surprisingly silent much to everybody's relief.

It was a great speech. It disarmed the old sleepy Joe crowd. They got nuthin. 

Then came the GOP response. Some Senator from Alabama named Katie Britt, live from her kitchen back in Bama. Looking like a middle school chick running for class president, smiling a lot, pretending to get emotional. losing her breath, real Tracey Flick shit. Britt was atrocious with her audition for the lead in the GOP musical. Over the top. Bad actor. I was hollering like a theater director watching some kid trying too hard, thank you, we'll be in touch and rolling my eyes. But she kept going. Get the fucking hook for chrissakes. Britt was the worst responder since Marco Rubio about drowned himself. But she's purty and looks about 18 and Republicans think that wins arguments. Sorry folks, she's a dunce. But at least she truly can claim to be the smartest Senator from Alabama since Tuberville exists. The whole kitchen thing was also appropriate since that's where MAGA thinks all women should stay.

Way to go, Killer Joe. You kicked MAGA, the House GOP, and SCOTUS right in the nuts. They may never recover.

And oh yeah Mike Johnson. We all saw you applauding underneath your desk at times. We all saw you attempt to keep that smug look on your face for 68 minutes. It's all an act. We know that you probably wont survive the Speakership long. But for chrissakes, show some guts once in a while. Don't go down a wimpy lil homophobic Christian Nationalist. Go down fighting. Like Joe showed you.

Super Duper Tuesday!

 It was Super Duper Tuesday yesterday and the "liberal" news media couldn't have had a bigger stiffy pantingly reporting that Trump destroyed Haley and that Joe Biden lost Samoa by a total of 50-41. Not percentage, that's the total number of votes but wow they'll tell you how that is a fatal blow to Biden cuz he's old and feeble and lost Samoa, the 54th state or whatever.  

Now back here on Earth, Biden won everything and so did Trump and that is going to be your matchup in November despite the dreamers who see Michelle Obama and Nikki Haley facing off cuz Trump will be in prison and Biden will be at deaths door. Nikki Haley won a primary again. She took Vermont but who cares cuz all that live there are tree hugging commies. Haley is through, officially. But as of yet hasn't returned to cowardly form and endorsed the Defendant (oh she will at some point if for no other reason than to stop death threats from the culty goons). So, it's all over, despite the crushing death blow that Joe Biden suffered in American Samoa by losing to (check notes) Jason Palmer? It's gonna be a long 8 months.

In other states.

California decided to nominate Adam Schiff and human stud Steve Garvey to be on the ballot for the US Senate to replace Diane Feinstein, who passed away I think in about 2017 or so. Now Katie Porter dropped the whiteboard by underperforming so badly she finished 3rd by a lot. Porter blamed Schiff for pumping up Garvey in ads cuz he seemed easier to beat than her. Yeah ok. Hell, if Garvey's children got together and voted in a bloc, he'd win easily but I'm sure there's a few out there who have no idea who Daddy Steve is. Thus, congratulations to Senator Adam Schiff.

Meanwhile, in North Carolina, Republican voters nominated a goddamned loony bird as their party candidate for Governor. It's like GOP voters walk into a voting booth and say, who's the worst human being on the ballot that will hurt me, but it'll make the libs so mad I will have joy for a minute or two. Mark Robinson is that man. A jumbo-sized yeller of crazy shit, he appeals directly to assholes who also support the other jumbo-sized yeller. Robinson calls gays "filth" wants trans genders arrested, calls Michelle Obama a man, baby, quotes Hitler on social media, thinks the rainbow flag is a "spit in the face of God", called Stoneham mass shooting survivors "spoiled little bastards", and admits to his poor suffering wife had an abortion but nobody else should be allowed to do the same. In other words, he's a typical MAGA goon. And oh yeah, he's an anti Semite which makes it sweet because Democrats nominated the state's attorney general, Josh Stein, to be his opponent. So yeah North Carolina rednecks, you have the choice between a black bootlicker and a Jewish guy. Congrats on the progress you never intended. Also, congrats to Governor Josh Stein.

In Texas, Colin Allred was nominated to take on Ted Cruz. I have very little hope that Texas will actually send Cruz packing to Cancun whenever he wants, but Colin Allred, an ex-NFL player, and current congressman, has a shot. But, like Beto O'Rourke, there may just be too many Latinos unwilling to vote and rural whites beating down the door to vote. So I believe Cruz loses when I see it. And I hate Ted Cruz and want him to lose so bad I'd become a Cowboys fan if it meant he loses.

So now we face 8 months of insanity and Democratic fingernail chewing. My advice to counter the authoritarianism I always knew a certain portion of America truly wanted is to attack attack attack! Fuck that Michelle Obama go high bullshit. Its rolling in the gutter time fellow democracy lovers. Abort the GOP in November by screeching abortion right in their faces.

Courage!

Squealing for Elvis Trump!!

 It was unanimous. In true reality show tradition, once one person said overturn Colorado, the rest of the cowards jumped onboard to tell Colorado you are evicted. In a surprise to absolutely nobody, The United States Supreme Court voted 9-0 to tell Colorado to put The Defendant back on the ballot so the cult members could mark their X and show all the libs they will burn down the building just to make you mad. 

Thus, the 14th Amendment is basically meaningless. I would expect the ghost of Jefferson Davis to file for ballot access where he would get 100% of the MAGA vote. Like the true fraidy cats they are, SCOTUS said that whoaaaa there Colorado, we don't really have anything against you throwing an insurrectionist off the ballot, but NOT this insurrectionist cuz Congress needs to blah blah blah. So Trump goes on the ballot in Colorado no matter what because states have no power to enforce Section 3 of that pesky 14th Amendment. They can only act in regard to State offices. So if Trump decides to move to Colorado and run for something, yes you can tell him to go take a long trip on a short ski jump, but not if he runs for a federal office. Yep makes sense. In what world Im not sure.

The Trumpster took to the TV to gloat. Showing his normal restrained humility, Trump went off on "Deranged " Jack Smith, tried to figure out how to pronounce Fani, yapped about ISIS, called out Obama for killing an American citizen, mentioned ISIS again, border talk, and threw his hands around a lot. In other words, absolutely nothing to do with what had happened. He just rambled on making his cult happy with non sequiturs and craziness.

Meanwhile, today was the day that the Defendant was supposed to go on trial in DC before Judge Chutkan on his insurrection charges but of course he whined to the Supremes that he had immunity and for some reason the court of bought and paid for whores said yeah sure we will hear it on April 22 and then make a ruling whenever we feel like it because we are here for life, suckers.

This court gives not one fuck what you think any longer because they have no ethics rules (well they do but it's strictly voluntary). They don't care what you think if a justice fails to recuse himself when his nutter wife helped plan to send Democrats to Gitmo and cried on her I'mCrazy phone to Mark Meadows to stop the certification at any cost.  They don't care if you disapprove of their trips to Alaska with billionaires on private planes because they never bother to report it so therefore, it didn't happen. In fact, go suck the tail pipe of a giant RV if you got a problem with gifts from well-known Nazi memorabilia collectors that also happen to be billionaires. In fact, if on April 22 a gigantic dump truck full of money shows up at the back door for distribution, you can just fucking wait until its divvied up.

Suck it, peasants. We live here until WE say we don't.