Well the orange fuckstick is coming after all. After cancelling a rally Friday night because his hair could get wet , the Former Guy will be here today to prop up his fellow sexual harasser in the Nebraska GOP primary. Oh wait, we need updates on whats happening here in regards to the GOP primary, in effect the Nebraska Gubernatorial Election.
Since we last talked this race has gone even more bonkers. Sexual harassment, a girl named Collete, a pig farmer making pig jokes, another choosing Yosemite Sam as a running mate. Its insane here. Well not Southern insane, but for here in the "nice" part of the country very off the wall.
Pete Ricketts, the current Governor and rich ne'er do well kid of the Ricketts crime family, has thrown his weight and money behind the pig farmer who fell on a fumble in a Husker game 40 some years ago. Ricketts will spend as much of Daddy Ricketts as he has to to get his way. He's done it in the past and we have all suffered for it over the last 8 years. Yes the fine citizens of this state elected this dick head twice. From buying candidates to do his evil in the state legislature to buying illegal drugs so he can preside over killing a guy to spending millions to overturning a law eliminating the death penalty to spending even more to block medical marijuana petitions from getting on the ballot to slow rolling ballot initiatives passed by the voters to expand Medicaid and allow gambling the guy has just proven to be a fucking prick on top of a lousy Governor. He recently refused to apply for federal aid to help renters behind on their rent due to a Covid pandemic he insists he ended in July of 2021. Congrats Nebraska on being the ONLY state to say no to federal money to help actual people. Ricketts is not a responsible watchdog for your money, he's just a prime certified asshole.
The pig farmer, Jim Pillen , went all full blown bigot in his ads. Proclaiming himself a man of God and a hellacious pro life whack job, he would then swear he would not only jail illegals (they LOVE that word) but send em all back to wherever they came from. With Ricketts' help, he also began attacking his perceived opponent, a handsy insurrectionist named Charles W Herbster, as a resident of Missouri (true), a man who wants to tax everything you buy (half true), and a childless gillionaire with no principles (true). He also has one very special endorsement that'll turn your stomach.
Then theres the aforementioned Herbster. This guy was born here and that's about it. He has more money than brains like most of them, he's a widower, and wears a cowboy hat to make him seem taller (doesn't work). Bored with money, he is just another Ricketts longing for power, which pisses Ricketts off cuz HE is the oligarch carpetbagger of Nebraska, not Herbster! Herbster has one endorsement from a fellow insurrectionist named Trump and now we know why. Herbster likes to grab pussy. A state senator, a Ricketts puppet named Julie Slama (Puppet-Ne) claimed that Herbster reached under her dress at a Republican grab ass fundraiser. Then came 7 other women saying the same damn thing. Sound suspicious? Well of course it does cuz Slama is as empty a soul as they come, but there is strength in numbers. And even a dancing marionette like Slama doesnt deserve to be grabbed by an old degenerate. Thus, the Trump endorsement and rally today. Two grabby motherfuckers on stage in front of a crowd of kooks. What could go wrong?'
Brett Lindstrom. The third guy in the race. Ignored for months as a 15% at best dude, Lindstrom switched from ads propping up the Big Lie to trying some Republican style humor in his ads. In other words not funny bu nonetheless effective. Using his cute daughter, Collette., Lindstrom became positive. Hey there, Im a good guy with cute kids. still a right wing nut, but look I like my family. Collette would express her concern about the negative ads and look into the camera and say vote for my Dad. Even I couldn't help but like that little girl despite the fact she has a 50/50 chance of becoming another Ginni Thomas. And what happened? Lindstrom surged in the polls into the lead. Nebraska Nice works.
Thus here came the attack ads against Lindstrom. He's a "liberal" (not true) he's endorsed only by Democrats (one) and Trump haters ( ok sure) and he's a guy who raised taxes (not true) and will raise even more taxes if he gets into office and paints the Governors mansion red and hoists up the hammer and sickle over the Capitol in Lincoln. These ads are from dark money (Ricketts) groups and utterly dishonest but what the hell, Ricketts and Trump are falling behind.
Thus the latest, a week and a half from the primary, Trumps here, Ricketts is spending Daddys money to trash a guy who dared take his guy on, and Lindstrom continues to surge cuz he's a "nice guy".
Oh yeah theres a fourth Republican candidate who may draw in a few votes. Her name is Theresa Thibodeaux, a former Ricketts puppet state senator who lost her election making Pete all sad. She originally ran as a running mate with Herbie the Grope Bug but dropped out for some reason (hmm) to run on her own. Seemed to be reasonable sort and going nowhere, she suddenly picked a running mate, a Yosemite Sam lookalike,Trent Loos , a radio talk show host from out in Kearney who is a typical right wing conspiracy freak. The Big Lie, the China virus, all the greatest hits from this cowboy hat wearing mustachioed cartoon character. She has as much chance of winning that primary as Wile E Coyote has a catching the Road Runner.
There we have it, Nebraska, lurching backwards as always to the good old days of Charlie Starkweather. When men were men and women just rode along.
Go Big Red!
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