Yes we do exist. Nebraska Democrats. And within the last two decades, Nebraska has had a Democratic Governor while at the same time had both United States Senators. But then 2008 came and like the rest of Red State America, this state went full Oh My Gawd theres a black man in the White House and Nebraska Democrats had no response other than uhhhhhh now what?
We now have a Republican Trust Fund Baby for a Governor , a Republican button pusher Senator as worthless as they come and an alleged Republican Adult who likes to tell high school grads they are fat and hates guys named Jeremy. The Alleged Adult in the room is up for re election this year and though Nebraska Democrats have about a 5% chance of beating him, thats not good enough. WE Nebraska Democrats demand 0% chance because thats who we are.
The above picture represents the 7 sacrificial lambs who longed to take on Ben Sasse (Not an Adult-Ne) in November. Being one who does research and hopes my choice could be the one who could possibly get 35% I voted for the one in the middle on the bottom. But Nebraska Democrats, being Nebraskans first of course, voted for the white guy whose photo is in black and white. His name is Chris Janicek and he once ran in the 2018 Democratic primary for the chance to lose to Deb Fischer (Trump licker-Ne) and picked up a whopping 20% of the Democratic primary vote. This time he rolled to a whopping 30% of the primary vote because hes a white guy and all and what the hell....He makes cupcakes for a living and Im sure they are excellent since no cupcake isnt excellent.
Chris Janicek apparently doesnt sleep much, gets real tired and then like we all do when tired he started texting female staffers to join in on a disgusting cupcake orgy with him and three guys. He told the female staffer he wanted to spend campaign money "to get her laid". But hey, Chris was tired and high on life at the time anticipating his crushing defeat at the hands of a Runza salesman/Uber driver.
The staffer, party pooper that she is, quit the campaign and reported him to the State Democratic Party who probably picked the complaint up in the weekly mail or on the answering machine after sifting through the messages calling them Bolsheviks. The state party rescinded any possible financial help for Janicek which would have deprived him of 20 bucks and some half off Burger King coupons. They also suggested he get the fuck out of the race.
Janicek, revealing his true colors, and possibly exposing himself as a Republican plant, refused to drop out citing an alleged conspiracy against him because he's against abortion and loves guns like all white middle aged Nebraska male Democrats.
The state party has until 9/11 to convince this chronically tired candidate to get out of the race. After that date, if Cupcake Boy stays in, it will force us Nebraska Democrats to write in Jane Kleeb or Alisha Shelton or Foghorn Leghorn for that matter. The fact remains that Ben Sasse can go back to being a pompous asshole who pretends to be an adult and frees him up to fake criticize the Fascist in Chief.
Chris Janicek's campaign slogan is "ENOUGH!". Never a truer statement can be made.
Get some fuckin sleep Chris.
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