Wednesday, June 20, 2012

You Say Vagina, I Say You're In Time Out!



1)As you've heard by now, Michigan Republicans do not, repeat do not, like it when you use medical terms in reference to your va-jay-jay, your wee wee, your fun bags, or your family jewels because Michigan Republicans apparently don't have a lot of zombie food to work with. Rep. Lisa Brown (D-Sailor Mouth) arguing against another job killing anti-abortion bill pushed forward by that government out of my life Tea Party said the word "vagina" on the sacred floor of the Michigan legislative temple. Oh my! Then fellow Representative Barb Byrum (D-Potty Mouth)blurted out something about getting into the middle of men's "vasectomies" and that was it!. The Michigan Republicans, the hierarchy of that brain trust, had heard enough and sent Brown and Byrum to the time out room for a day for uttering such vulgarities. Meanwhile, Republican Representative Frank Foster (R-Einstein) got into a confrontation with a neighbor slut and used the proper term for lady parts. He called his neighbor a "cunt". He got extra time on the floor of the legislature for his usage of proper terminology regarding Michigan ladies hatchet wounds.

2)Arizona talk show host Barbara Espinosa ,who has such a soothing radio voice, has denied she made racist statements on her radio show? Just go to You Tube and listen to Barb. How could anybody think a Latino like Barb E is a racist? Why that's impossible. Obama, with those big ears, reminds Barbie E of a monkey, which in case you didn't get it the first time she repeats again and again until she tells you she voted for "the white guy" which in case you didn't get that the first time she repeats again and again. Man, with talk show hosts like Barbie E waiting in the wings, Limbaugh better step up his game.

3) Darrell Issa (R-Carjacker) holding Eric Holder in contempt of Congress? That's sweet. A guy like Issa, who has a criminal record that's even bad for a Republican congressman, judging others? For a refusal to do what? Holder, who inherited this Operation Waste of Money from the previous administration, will now face the wrath of John Boner and the House of Reprehensibles. That is if Boner can actually bring himself to do something. Don't worry, Attorney General Holder, being held in contempt of these assholes is a fucking honor.

4) I saw Rock of Ages on Sunday. Despite the fact Kurt Cobain is my freakin hero for putting an end to the shit they call hair metal, I loved this movie. Tom Cruise was a monster onscreen as was Alec Baldwin (his scene with Russell Brand singing R E O Speedwagon was hilarious). Key words, NOT original artists. Broadwayed up, these songs almost didn't make me wretch. I even kept the popcorn down when Every Rose Has Its Thorn came on. And yep, Tom Cruise's version of Wanted Dead or Alive? Nastyyyyyyyyy. In a good way.

5) Not to beat a dead horse but Secretariat was so damn good a racehorse, he set the Preakness record again yesterday. Despite being dog food for over 25 years, Big Red ran the Preakness in 1:53 flat. Hey, look it up.

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