Sunday, July 24, 2011

Hello, City By The Bay!

I am so sick of this debt ceiling shit I packed up the Prius and left town to the garden spot of the nation. Green Bay, Wisconsin. Why Green Bay? Don't ask. Hey, its on the way to Chicago if you're directionally challenged.

The family has always wanted to see Green Bay, well at least one of us did. So off we went to Scott Walker's coming hell hole. Wisconsin.

The drive to Green Bay is just about the longest 12 hours you can ever spend for no payoff. Stuck in a Prius (46 MPG yay!!) and in an endless loop of cornfields and windmill farms is really not what Henry Ford had in mind. He was more the Hitler was great guy type. But after 12 hours and about 16 Mountain Dews, we arrived in the city by the bay!

Oh I kid Green Bay. It was a perfectly fine town. In the summer, all two months of it.

For all my doubts about what lay ahead in upper Wisconsin, I gotta say. The people in this city by the bay are the friendliest people I've ever encountered. Gawdam, they make Minnesota Nice look like Satan's workshop. These folks were cheery as all hell. It made me uncomfortable. What exactly ARE they up to???

A trip to Green Bay has to include a tour of that huge stadium on Lombardi Avenue and Oneida that houses the Super Bowl champion Green Bay Packers, otherwise known in Chicago as we found out later, the Green Gay Fudge Packers. Chicago has a lot of class. Green Bay residents would see that and say oh you darn Bears fans, to heck wit all of you and dat is kinda funny.

YOu pay your $19 to see the Packer Hall Of Fame and the tour of the stadium. It was a fun time. I know I'm a Bears fan and I'm supposed to piss on the Lambeau frozen tundra, but it was impossible to hate these people. They were constantly telling you that bullshit story of how the citizens of Green Bay "own" the team and they are just the poor little team down the street with the used equipment and how Packer women have weddings at the stadium and how hard it is to "compete" with Ziggy Wolf and the McCaskeys. You almost forget they WON THE FUCKING SUPER BOWL! I fell for all of it. They take you into the bowels of Lambeau and lead you through the tunnel that the players use to run onto the field complete with fake crowd noise. God this is cheesy. Get it? Haha. You shout Go Pack Go and hear the echos. You see Packer fanatics kissing the field. You see a luxury box (the crappiest seats in the house by the way) and you buy into the whole Packer nonsense. My Dad would have loved every second of it being one of those Packer lunkheads. I hope he was watching.

So there ya go. We wanted to go to the City By The Bay and we did. Just in the wrong direction I guess.

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