Teabag Nation- Winner's Edition

There are teabaggers who are going to win their elections on Tuesday. After all, there are always nuts running around Congress elected by nuts back home. It's inevitable, but this year is different. Some of these teabaggers are plain crazy. Crazy doesn't win. Or does it? Here are some crazies who may win.

1) Sharron Angle--- There are two bad things a candidate can be. Stupid or crazy. It's seldom you ever see both. Sharon Angle is both. And she has a real shot at getting sent to D.C. by stupid and crazy Nevada-ans. Oh you all know Sharon Angle by now. Second Amendment remedies. Making rapey lemons into rapey lemonade. The press should ask questions she likes. You look Asian. Medicare and Medicaid are against the first commandment. Running away from TV reporters. Christ, she doesn't even know how to spell "Sharon". This is the woman who refuses to talk to the press any longer because they have the audacity to report the stupid shit that comes out of her piehole. Come on, Nevada, Harry Reid is a spineless weasel, but Sharron Angle is Forrest Gump. Stupid is as stupid does.

2) Rand Paul--- this guy makes his loony old man look normal. Paul is so nutty he doesn't even know he's nutty. He started off his campaign to become Senator from Kentucky by telling Rachel Maddow he doesn't really think anybody who owns a business should be forced to deal with minorities if they don't want to. He called Obama "un-American" for not kowtowing to those earth rapists at BP. He dismissed mine fatalities by stating "sometimes accidents happen". Man, that's the truth if I ever heard it. Rand Paul is about to becomes a United States Senator.

3)John Raese---West Virginia was at least smart enough once to not want to be a part of Virginia. Then after they split they went off and came up with the new name "West Virginia"? Well maybe not so smart. John Raese is a teabagger out to replace Robert Byrd in the Senate. Raese is one of those guys who runs all the time and loses all the time. But this time, Raese may win. He has brought in serial adulterer and animal murderer, Ted Nugent and serial dumbass, The Quitta from Wasilla to campaign for him and his stupid ideas. Do away with the minumum wage? In West Virginia they like this idea? Really? Oh yeah, it's West Virginia.

4)Ken Buck---this Colorado cuckoo is in real danger of becoming a Senator. This guy is too crazy for the pro-lifers there as they yanked their endorsement the other day. Buck, probably most famous for dissing the birthers as "dumbasses", is living proof of that blind squirrel finding a nut proverb. He's called the President the greatest threat to the nation, wanted to repeal the 17th Amendment and then didn't, probably after he read the damned thing and throws the word "bullshit" around like nickels. Not that I object to the word "bullshit", I just object to bullshitters using it so much. Buck also objects to that old "separation of church and state" bullshit that so baffles the Delaware duo. As a former prosecutor Buck has said that a rape victim suffered from "buyer's remorse". Come on, Colorado, come down to the normal air, wise up, and send this goof home.

5) Louie Gohmert--- he's already in office. A Congressman from , where else? ,Texas. He's claimed that terrorist cells are creating terrorist fetuses to eventually blow up Americans in about 20 or 30 years. Wonder how pro-life he is on those terrorist blastocysts?

6) Michele Bachmann and Steve King--- the Morticia and Gomez Addams of the House of Representatives are probably both going back to the Congress where they will praise each other on the floor and call each other stunning. Why don't these two just get a rubber room? I wonder what happens when Bachmann speaks French to King. Oh yeah, that would require way too much intellect on either's part. Iowa and Minnesota are such common sense places. Except in two places apparently.

7) Carly Fiorina--- Oh she's not really a teabagger, nor is she going to win, but she is a conjoined twin to Meg Whitman. In other words, she has the compassion of a pissed off cobra. Outsourcing 200,000 jobs and running Hewlett Packard into the ground while collecting millions in compensation? Oh yeah, California, send that hack to Washington D.C. She is sooooooo yesterday.

8) Dino Rossi--- never heard of him? Well, he has a real chance of becoming the next Teabagger Senator out of Washington. This foreclosure profiteer has been another one of those O'Donnell perennial losers who run for everything and win nothing. Kind of like me in a 5K race. But I'm no danger to the republic. Rossi is. Or rather his supporters are. A Rossi supporter threatened Patty Murray supporters with a meat cleaver, another Rossi fan went all Rand Paul supporter on some Rossi protestor by attacking her in front of Republican HQ. Washington, calm down. And re-elect Patty Murray.

9) Linda McMahon--- the former CEO of a wrestling organization that glorifies idiocy and misogyny, Vince's beard, errr, wife has spent $50 million of her own money in an attempt to get to the Senate. I wonder if she knows that life in the Senate, as ridiculous as it appears, is real. Bruno Sammartino isn't going to rush onto the floor of the Senate and hit Al Franken with a foreign object in the middle of a debate. She does know that, right? That's what kills me about fans of people like McMahon and Meg Whitman. They spend money like a wrestling fan at the beer stand and tell you how fiscally responsible they are. And it hardly ever works. But at least the drooling fans of McMahon can wear their WWE gear at the polling place on Tuesday thanks to more wisely spent money on a lawsuit filed by Vince.

This is getting depressing. These people may actually win, along with Pat Toomey in Pennsylvania, Marco Rubio in Florida, Ron Johnson in Wisconsin and Mark Kirk in Illinois. They must be stopped on Tuesday. With First Amendment remedies. Please vote.

Teabag Nation-Loser's Edition!

Well they're all losers, frankly, but unfortunately, some of them are going to win and head off to D.C. with Granny ridin' shotgun. Let's look at the sure losers.

1) Christine O'Donnell--- even though right wing blog sites are trumpeting her "surge" in the polls, this blithering idiot is going down to defeat. Whether it's her expressing wonderment that apes don't evolve into humans at the Dover Zoo, or her belief the First Amendment doesn't cover religion, or the fact she's just a grinning nitwit, she has possibly cost the Republicans the Senate. Thanks ,Old Christine!

2) Meg Whitman--- her campaign ad from last week is classic. She moved to California for the great economic opportunity 30 years ago. Who was California's Governor 30 years ago? Jerry Brown. Thanks for pointing that out, Meg. This woman's arrogance and ego are outweighed by only her massive forehead. Go away, Mrs. E-Bay. Deporting your former housekeeper? You are truly an awful human being.

3) Stephen Broden---this dimwitted black Texas Republican is running against a Democratic congressional incumbent, Eddie Bernice Johnson, who got caught diverting scholarship money from deserving students to her own grandchildren and defended it. Who better to lose to a teabagger than that woman? Well, Stephen Broden is going to make sure that doesn't happen. He likes to say things like if he loses, violent revolution is on the table. Great, Steve, who do you think you are, Sharon Angle? When Broden isn't serving as Glenn Beck's houseboy, he's blaming Saul Alinsky for Hurricane Katrina. But the worst news for this kookyburger is he got the endorsement of one Caribou Barbie. That's the kiss of death.

4) Joe Miller--- the Republican Senate nominee from the Fugitive State apparently thinks he can have his own police force. Kind of like a bearded Bill O'Reilly and his secret Fox News secuirty force he unleashes on infidels. Miller's goons actually "arrested" and handcuffed a journalist who asked too damn many questions. Miller, who also believes unemployment insurance to be "unconstitutional" even though his wife gladly took that "unconstitutional" money has sunk in the polls to third place, behind a Democrat and the incumbent, Leesa Mucowskee (thats how you spell it, Alaska Republicans) who is running as a write in. Miller is a thug, plain and simple. And yes, he has the endorsement of one Northern Overexposure. He's going down to defeat, Tawwwwwwwwd.

5)Carl Paladino--- This dope is running on the Republican ticket for Governor of New York. By now, everybody knows his temper is a bit of a problem. If you threaten to "take out" a New York Post reporter, jesus christ, how right wing ARE you? Paladino has offered to house the poor in prisons because "many young people would want to getthe hell out the cities". Really, Carl? Have fun managing your gay nightclubs after November 2nd.

6)Al Reynolds--- this Illinois teabagger recently said at a candidate forum sponsored by the League of Women Voters AND by the NAACP that African American men preferred dealing drugs to going to college because it's easier. The quote is bad enough but what really makes this guy a freaking idiot is he did it at an NAACP sponsored event? Even Reynolds should vote against himself for that move.

7)Glen Urquhart---Running for Delaware's only House seat are you? You and O'Donnell are the best Delaware Republicans can come up with? Wow, that's a whole lot of dumb for such a tiny state. Urquhart was recently caught on tape telling an audience of mouth breathers "the exact phrase separation of church and state came out of Adolph Hitler's mouth....so the next time your liberal friends talk about the separation of church and state, ask them why they're Nazis?" For the love of Ronnie Reagan, what is it about that phrase that so trips up Delaware teabaggers?

All of these teabaggers will lose on Tuesday. Oh, there are more of these kooks, but they may actually win. We can talk about those whackjobs later. Remember to vote and send more of these people back to Crazy Land where they can tune up their tin foil tricorn hats and hide in their basements. It is a MUST to vote on Tuesday, or that Halloween costumed freak at the top of this page will become everybody's crazy Uncle Ernie. And he will be in charge. Shudder.

Fear The Beard!

The baseball season is almost over. Dammit. Go Giants! And good luck to 71 year old Maurice Mad Dog Vachon in the role of Giants closer!

Let's Idiot Proof Our House!

There seem to be two different sets of reality going on in this country lately. There's the reality most of us live in, where 2+2=4 and taxes pay for streets and roads and the President of the United States was born in Hawaii and we are fighting a war in Afghanistan for god knows what reason and it is the year 2010. Then there's a whole other reality out there. Where facts are wrong, what I believe is right no matter what, the President is a secret Muslim, 2 1/2 million people showed up to hear a charlatan named Beck speak, Saddam Hussein attacked us on 9/11, my liberty is being taken away because Sean Hannity told me so, 2010 America is just like Nazi Germany, FEMA runs secret indoctrination camps, and stupid is the new smart.

Stupid is taking over, or rather threatening to take over. Where did this anti-intellectualism come from? Was it because John McCain, perhaps the biggest soul dropping bastard ever, chose that hot Governor from Alaska and a whole bunch of horny white men and their stupid wives lost their ever loving minds? She's just like us. Yeah, an idiot.

When did being an idiot qualify you to actually make decisions that matter? I don't care if your average idiot makes a decision to go to Chili's or Applebees? All us idiots make those decisions everyday. But for your average idiot to decide fiscal policy, approve Supreme Court justices, fund wars, give tax breaks to criminals, and kiss corporate ass to outsource jobs is a whole 'nuther deal.

Yet these teabagger types, pissed off white people scared to death of losing the home field advantage, are threatening to send idiots galore to the Congress. White idiots. Idiots just like them. We have the power to stop them. Will we use it? Or are WE the real idiots?

Messin With Texas?

Not again. The Twins and the Huskers have mental blocks against teams I hate. I need to crawl back into a cave for awhile.

Chile? I Like Mine Without Beans!

I am captivated by this story. The Chilean miners being rescued one by one. I can't stop watching it. I've smiled, laughed and cried at this story all day long. It is just as obsessive as back when Baby Jessica was trapped in the well back in the 80's. It's just as interesting as when the Russians helped free those trapped whales back in the 90's. This is great stuff.

In between the news of the rescued miners, the cable networks would go back to regular programming and it made realize something. This rescue of 33 human beings in Chile is what the whole world should be watching. It has brought a lot of the world together. Then I see American politicians, specifically teabaggers, splitting us apart. I assume teabaggers would let these men die. Screw 'em. They took that shitty job, let'em deal with the consequences. Don't be spending my tax money on that kind of nonsense. Rescuing miners? In Chile? Bah! Now give me my farm subsidy and my social security, I'm late for my taxpayer supported doctor's appointment.

This country is in tough shape. Financially certainly, but morally we are even more bankrupt if these teabagging clowns assume control. There will be no more society. It will be social Darwinism unleashed. Ayn Rand, the selfish creep, will be required reading and St.Francis of Assisi will be considered some bleeding heart pansy ass.

I have no doubt some of these nuts will win. But to keep any of them out of the limelight is a necessity. Bury these people in November. Then refuse to rescue them. Touche'!

Happy Birthday John!

Need I say more?