Bye Planet!

All right, I've had it rooting for giant, irresponsible corporations to succeed at something. Well, let me rephrase that. I still hope those criminals at BP succeed in stopping this diarreah of the sea.I just hope when, or if, this gushing of toxins and death ever stops,these wankers are held accountable.

Mr.Cool, President Obama, needs to drop this "I got this, chill the hell out" persona and start getting pissed. I mean "enraged", like he said Saturday. I don't see the rage, but who knows. I'm enraged at this nightmare and the only oil spill I have to deal with is on my garage floor.

Hey, now that the top kill has failed, what now? More golf balls? Tires? Is the Sham Wow dude available for ideas?

In the meantime, as BP executives continue to do the Hugh Grant impression and charm their way out of the worst environmental fuckup since Chernobyl, let's play Did You Know?

1) 11 human beings lost their lives because of this quest for profit. That's a homicide. Does anybody remember that?

2)British Petroleum, in a pseudo plan to clean up a theoretical oil spill in the Gulf Of Mexico, listed "walruses" as a "sensitive biological resource". Hey, BP , as any fifth grader can tell you, walruses live up in the Arctic. Guess you're not smarter than a fifth grader.

3)When the Exxon Valdez sprung a leak up in Alaskan waters, only 14% of the spilt oil was ever recovered.14%. So times that by 50 or 60 or who knows, this spill, errr, volcano of crap, is 86% there forever. That's a good 40 to 50 millions barrels of oil splashing around out there for-freaking-ever.Enjoy your shrimp while you can.

4)The Minerals Management Service, a division of the Interior Department, in a Gulf Coast office, had employees attending sporting events paid for by oil companies, snorted coke and meth, watched a lot of downloaded porn (hello SEC), and falsified safety reports. Nice. Interior Secretary Ken Salazar needs to go bye-bye. Stop catering to these Republicans with these nominees for anything, Mr.President. And get more pissed.

5)Can you imagine what happens when hurricane season kicks in? Winds blowing water is bad enough. Winds blowing poisonous water? Those people are screwed.

6)Transocean, the owner of the rig, you know, that company that moved to Switzerland to avoid paying American taxes, has made a profit off this bad dream. They insured the Deepwater Horizon for twice its value and has made a cool $270 million profit off this crime. Where's the outrage at these ghouls?

7)Survivors of the explosion on the rig, were placed into solitary confinement and offered $5000 each to shut the eff up and say nothing. Who signs that kind of deal? Oh I don't know, people who have been tortured like John McCain might sign something like that. People who came this close to being killed might. Who are these BP freaks?

8)The Obama Administration, since the gusher in the Gulf started, has approved 17 more deep water drilling permits, most for deep water drilling. Are Bush and Cheney still in office or did we vote for change? I guess we got lots of change, the kind of "change" you can deposit into your campaign coffers.

9)The "acoustic trigger", a device which shuts off the oil when manual efforts fail, was removed as a proposed regulation in 2003 by the Bushies because they cost the oil cartel too much. About $500,000. How's that lookin' now, Daniel Plainviews of the world.

10)BP head hack Tony Hayward had better be happy he didn't do this to China. Those folks would take him out back and put a bullet in his curly mop and then bill BP for the bullet. We aren't so inclined. In fact, there are actually United States Senators trying to keep BP from having to pay over the $75 million dollar damage cap. Yep, there are actually Republican politicians in this country doing BP's dirty work by blocking BP's liability from being raised. Unforgivable.

I can't go on. I'm getting more outraged by the minute. Too bad I have no power to do anything other than vent on a blog. The guy who has the power needs to stop being too cool for the room. Maybe Michelle can take the point on this one.