MLK Jr Day!

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This is his day. Nothing else. 

Seinfeld And Gaffigan!

 Who doesn't need a laugh the last weekend of democracy? Well, we do and off to the CHI Centre to see two comedy legends named Seinfeld and Gaffigan. Gaffigan a legend? Yes, dammit he is to us out here in the vast wasteland.

Ryan Hamilton opened the show with a short 15-minute set of funny stories and jokes about the cluelessness of the coasts. Its New York, Los Angeles and in between is the Midwest. Perfect humor for the audience of Midwesterners.

Jim Gaffigan was next. Ok, he's not the legend that Jerry is, but to Midwesterners he sure as hell is close. Gaffigan is a master storyteller, a walking Dad joke that's actually funny. His humor is family oriented, self-deprecating and just plain true. He hits a nerve with anyone with a family of teenagers, a spouse or parents. In other words, 90% of the world. Gaffigan is the everyman of comedy. Even though he seems like just a guy getting through life, he is a great writer of jokes and anecdotes. His story about a college reunion, looking in the mirror and seeing a feisty 20-year-old while his buddies are all old as hell had me in stitches. I love Jim Gaffigan's entire persona. We here in the sticks can identify with him as New Yorkers identify with Jerry.

Jerry Seinfeld came out next. I am a late bloomer to Jerry. I didn't watch Seinfeld in the 90's. I don't know why, maybe cuz on Thursday nights I was out gambling and drinking back then. But I knew people who loved it and couldn't wait to explain to me the whole show from beginning to end and because they weren't Jerry it failed miserably. I binged the entire series about 3 years ago and realized what I missed. Genius.

Seinfeld did an hour set of basically the same family type humor of Gaffigan, but from a New Yorkers perspective. Cynical, biting and hilarious. It was Seinfeld at his best, He hates everything, hates traveling, can't stand the society he lives in, but loves complaining about it all. And complain he did. Like Gaffigan, he's a very wealthy everyman from Queens. And it is possible to think the Midwestern perspective and the New York perspective are both valid and hilarious. 

It was a great 2 hours of fun, laughter and an escape from what's coming on Monday. Oh, humor won't die on Monday, but it's gonna take a dark turn. I can always remember this night of laughter. 

Thanks guys.

Clue!

Yes, it's a play based on a movie based on a board game we played as kids. No, it's not Shakespeare or Sondheim or even Sorkin, but what it is, is fast paced and funny. 

The play takes place in 1954 in DC, at the height of the McCarthy hearings. 6 people have been invited to party at the Boddy mansion, and they all show up solo. Yeah, put the brain in hold here and just enjoy.

We have Colonel Mustard, a dimwit. We have Mrs. White, a black widow with a history of dead husbands. We have Mrs. Peacock, wife of a Senator and prude. We have Mr. Green, a bureaucrat and gasp, a homosexual. We have Professor Plum, an arrogant ass. We have Miss Scarlet, a sharp-tongued escort. 

The "party" is run by a butler named Wadsworth who has all them there for a reason. Blackmail! All 6 characters have secrets, though Miss Scarlet loudly announces she did everything she's accused of and is incapable of being blackmailed. Bodies begin dropping. 6 in all. Whodunit?

The play is only 90 minutes long. It ends abruptly and I'm not sure anybody expected it because it was barely started, or so it seemed. The sets are amazing and change effortlessly whether it be the study or the lounge or the lobby or the kitchen. 

The cast. Damn, there's not a weak character up there. They are in a constant frenzy, and all deliver lines with perfect timing. Jeff Skowron as Wadsworth runs the show, he's the QB. And he is wonderful with numerous accents and snark. John Tracy Egan plays the kind of dimwitted Col. Mustard. His off the cuff lines sort of relating to what was just said is both weird and hilarious. Tari Kelly as the devious Mrs. White, who may or may not have killed her numerous husbands. Joanna Glushak as Mrs. Peacock, the wife of a Senator and prudish hypocrite. Jonathan Spivey as Professor Plum, the condescending professor of psychiatry. Christina Anthony as Miss Scarlet, the fast-talking madam. Elizabeth Yancey as Yvette, the sexy maid. Mariah Burks as The Cook, the cook. Then we have Alex Syiek and Teddy Trice playing various roles as need be.

But John Shartzer as Mr. Green, the secret gay guy shines. This guy can do physical humor as well as I've seen on stage. He falls, he limbos, he is like a Jim Carrey with a rubber body. He is amazing not to mention that he has perfect timing in his pratfalls. He got applause from the audience a lot.

This play is for anyone who needs a break from life. Its humor is dry AND crazy. It's both physical AND mental. It's clever AND stupid. The cast makes all this happen. It helps to know things about the board game, the movie AND what life was like in 1954 during the Red Scare. That knowledge just makes it funnier.

I put this play in the Expected Nothing And Got A Lot Category. I laughed a lot. It was fun.

January 6th!!

 4 years ago, I sat there working remotely, feeling good about the fact the worst POTUS of all time was on his way out, and then it happened. Trump gave a speech whining like the lil bitch he is about stolen elections and how HE was upset and for the crowd to go up to the Capitol to "fight like hell or you won't have a country left" and the gullible trash went up to the Capitol and began to beat Capitol police, break windows, invade the Congressional offices, invade the Senate chamber led by a nut in a horned hat and face paint, walk around sing songy looking for Nancy Pelosi, looking for Mike Pence to hang him from the pop up gallows assembled outside, take dumps in wastebaskets, smear their feces all over the walls, steal computers and podiums, ya know, touristy things. Trump had told them he'd go up there with them, then ran back to the White House to watch what he started joyfully. Typical Trump, all alligator mouth and hummingbird ass.

The day was despicable. Eventually, after Republican politicians like Josh Hawley (Pussy-Mo) and Ted Cruz (Scumbag-Tx) gave speeches about the "stolen" election, the election was certified, despite 177 Republican traitors in the House objecting to the process that had worked for 250 years because their cult leader demanded they do. Now I understand that many, maybe most, of those people were being blackmailed, lacked the courage to stand up to a bully, or just plain were frightened of the death threats and cult members being violent towards them or their families. Trumps a mob boss, we all know that, and his minions are barbarians that wouldn't think twice about killing Trumps enemies if he ordered them to, but that day, with the cop beating and the metaphor of beating people with flag poles, it was a fucking disgrace. Yet here we are. 

Americans have horrid memories; they are so easily manipulated by lies and bullshit pressed forward by news channels that paid damn near a billion dollars to a company for lying. Some Americans are so goddamned stupid they actually reboot their minds to factory set and believe that none of this happened. It really is amazing.

So, 4 years later, after this riot played out on television for all to see, a plurality of Americans voted for the scumbag because egg prices were too high, because they've been told the economy was awful, because they couldn't stomach a black woman in the Oval Office, because they are brainwashed baboons. Trump got 47% in 2020, and to just get 2 more percent from Latino men, black men and white women wasn't all that difficult. It happened. 

And to that I say fuck Trump AND anybody who voted for him.