The Priest And The Beast!

Catholicism is a double edged sword. On one hand its is a social justice organization and on the other hand its an archaic hiding place for sanctimonious assholes bent on self aggrandizement.

Paul Ryan (Go Away-Wi) is one of those pious pricks who hide behind the religion as a kind of justification for his Randian dismissal of that social justice wing of the cult organization.

Father Pat Conroy is the kind of Catholic that can take the Paul Ryans of the cult religion and eviscerate them on a cross of righteousness.

Father Conroy is a Jesuit. The kind of Catholic who doesnt stay on the abortion train 24/7 and actual transfers to the Social Justice Express to make himself whole.

Paul Ryan (POS-Wi) is fighting a battle that he may win in the short term by firing the Reverend Pat Conroy SJ from his job as House chaplain. But in the long run, Ryan's anger at a priest caring for the pesky poor will result in his demise. Is there anything more Ryan The Douchebag than saying "Padre, you just have to stay out of politics." Padre? I can see that bag of Wisconsin cheesedicks saying that to a Jesuit priest thinking he's a hip young guitar playing free spirit. Fuck you Paul Ryan (Philistine-Wi). Most Jesuits have more knowledge in their leather bags than Ryan has in that smug leather bag he calls a head.

Ryan may be running out the clock on staying in Congress, pissing on everything he can before he spends more time with his kids while lobbying for some corrupt climate killing PAC, but he remains a boil on the ass of humanity. I know the Jesuits would rather crucify you with thoughtfulness instead of praying for your rotten soul but in this case, Im sure Father Conroy would make the exception. However, even with the Jesuit Pope's help, Ryan is beyond praying for. Ryan's black soul has been forever tainted by the Screed of Midwest Catholicism. A combination of Republican narcissism with a belief that going to Mass makes you superior to those heathens from the East. Those libtard bleeding heart Catholics who care about babies after birth. You know that type. The ones who enter the Society of Jesus.

I am retired from Catholicism because of the Midwest brand of the religion. But I shall defend the Father Conroys of the world like they are my own.

Father Conroy makes me want to be a better person. Paul Ryan makes me want to stuff a stink bomb up Catholicisms ass. No no, up Paul Ryans ass.

PS- The Jesuits always win. Ryan folded. The road to hell slowed down

Thoughts!

You cannot possibly keep up with this shit. This nation's descent into irrelevance continues. WE are becoming that asshole neighbor who has no brains, no couth yet has 400 guns and yells a lot at anyone who comes near his lawn. Yeah everybody knows it isnt going to end well for this cretin, but he's so out of his mind, and he's armed, so you just go out of your way to avoid him. God Bless America! Please, soon.

1) Mike Pompeo is a bigoted Kansas nitwit. The man makes a disastrous Secretary of State like Rex Tillerson look like Jefferson. Yet the Senate, including a bunch of Democrats, still stuck in the belief that a Trump voter would actually vote for them if they just voted for enough brain dead bigots to satisfy their stupid, approved this balloon headed shithead to represent American values abroad. Ya know, bigotry, homophobia, anti-Islam beliefs, all those American values. Pompeo will take his Jesus based bullshit abroad to turn the State Department even more irrelevant, which may be the mission in the first place. Diplomacy is a lost art, just bomb the fuck out of anyone who gets in your way and say America Fuck Yeah! The only problem with this idiotic belief is eventually the whole world hates your guts. That's when the road to bring down the Block Bully becomes easier. We need friends.

2) Joy Ann Reid is a national treasure. She may or may not have made tweets offensive to the LBBTQ community in her distant past. Obviously that was not cool. Joy Reid apologized for that today. So lets not eat our own again because of imperfection. Joy Reid is a lot like a lot of people. What she believed as someone who didnt know the people she looked down upon became old news. When she found out that the people she looked down on were all around her the views changed. This is called learning and progressing. Its called changing your mind. Changing your mind is strength, not weakness. Some day perhaps Trumpers can try it. Perhaps neanderthals like Mike Pompeo can try it.

3) Jazz is still my music of choice. To listen to jazz is to be content. The true American music. The San Francisco Jazz Collective came thru town the other night to entertain hundreds of us old jazz fans. The average age of the crowd at a true jazz show is somewhere between decrepit and dead and I am including myself. But what transpires is pure heaven. The SF Jazz Collective played the music of Miles Davis and their own selections. Miles stuff ranged from the cool to the fusion while the original material was more concentrated on solo work. I never had the pleasure of seeing Miles Davis but to hear a band of talented musicians do his work was absolutely mesmerizing.

4) My favorite musical of all time is Jesus Christ Superstar. It came along as I lingered in a Catholic high school years ago and taught me more about the Bible than all the fire and brimstone combined. I bought the record and wore it out. I was in Texas once when I was seeing The Godfather with my Dad and as we came out a young man said you guys HAVE to see that JC Superstar movie. I went back the next day, alone. Loved it. I have seen the live show more than any band or play ever. I love it. It makes me think. But that live JC Superstar on NBC a few weeks back was 50% great and 50% snooze. Im sorry, but John Legend isnt the type of singer who can handle that role of Jesus. Alice Cooper was being Alice Cooper on valium. That crowd of screeching millenials annoyed the shit out of me. But there were good things. Brandon Victor Dixon as Judas was the star. Sarah Bareilles was fantastic as Mary Magdalene. All in all it was good. I hope this live Broadway continues. Minus overenthusiastic crowds.

5) Goddamit why is Donald Fucking Trump still in office???

I'm done!

Lean On Pete!

If Charlie Plummer isnt nominated for all sorts of acting awards for Lean On Pete at the end of the year I will be amazed. The young actor who played J Paul Getty's grandson in last years's All The Money In The World is in virtually every scene of this movie. But first things first.

Lean On Pete is the story of a young man named Charlie, a poor young man, living hand to mouth with his father in Portland. His father isnt a bad guy, he just cannot do anything right and Charlie pays the price. One day Charlie discovers the local horse racing track and treats it as something to do. He gets a job as a gopher with low rent horse trainer Del (Steve Buscemi) and travels the northwest racing a horse named Lean on Pete, sometimes winning but mostly losing. Buscemi is also not a bad guy, but an older man beaten down by life. After Charlie's father departs the movie and Charlie is on his own he begins his quest to find his long lost Aunt Marjie in Wyoming. When Pete comes in last it breaks Buscemi's will to keep him. Horses that dont win "go to Mexico" and Charlie will not allow that to happen.

He steals Pete and leads him on a journey to Wyoming. Walking east, Charlie and Pete encounter various people also beaten down by life. Two war vets, a young woman taking care of her abusive grandfather, a kindly waitress. You sit there rooting for Charlie and Pete to get to Wyoming.

Then comes the gut punch moment in this movie you will never forget. The entire theater I was in gasped. It is truly something you can never unsee. A tear rolled down the side of my face before I even knew what hit me. The scene is jarring.

But the movie moves on. We see a drug addled Steve Zahn allow Charlie to stay with him until he doesnt. Like the rest of the movie, Charlie does what he has to do to survive, some of which is highly illegal. Does he find his aunt? You'll have to see.

Plummer's subtle acting style may bore some people. The movie is understated and realistic in its portrayal of life's losers. Charlie, who still wears his former high school's sweatshirt as a kind of reminder of when he played football and went to a real school and had a somewhat normal life, constantly lets people know of this former life when he wasnt a loser. His quest to get to his Aunt's house is a cry for a return to that normalcy.

Look, Plummer carries this film with help from good solid character actors like Buscemi, Chloe Sevigney and Zahn. It may not be a film you want to see. Its a long journey from that race track to Wyoming. For me, it was worth it.

Three Presidents Walk Into A Funeral!

Well I figure if he can forgive why cant I?

While the technical sitting President of the United States skips a funeral for a former First Lady because he's a horrible human being, a chickenshit, and a fucking narcissist, he sends his abused technical wife to fill in. You see, the POTUS likes golf and satisfies himself first and fuck everybody else. This disease is fully apparent this weekend as the life of Barbara Bush was celebrated and the sitting President takes a powder. Why?

1) He wasnt invited?

Well I doubt that since the Bush family, if nothing else, has a decorum it follows and inviting the President to a family funeral, even if the President is a self absorbed monkey who might throw his own feces would be in that decorum. Oh everyone knows Barbara Bush hated the very existence of the misogynistic racist Son of a Bitch in Chief and would have risen from the dead just to strangle him with her pearls, but decorum.

2) He is scared?

This one could be it but I doubt it. Meeting Jeb!, Hillary, Bill, Barack, might make the Baby In Chief uncomfortable since he cannot stop insulting them like the middle school bully he is. But the one he could be really scared of is Michelle. Michelle could possibly make the Traitpr in Chief cry. That would be grand.

3) He's just a nasty, horrible, rude, crude, vulgar cult leader who would rather play golf than do the right thing.

Everyone knows this is the reason. This greedy prick simply doesnt want to go. He wants to play golf and tweet insults from his fucking golf cart. A funeral for a former First Lady doesnt put him front and center.This is not acceptable to a Buffoon In Chief. Play golf you ugly human waste of space. The place is classed up by your absence anyway. Fuck you.

Now the forgiveness part.

Melania Trump is a person that has been treated like shit by the Debaucher in Chief. The GIFS of her sad face and her rejection of the Swinger in Chief's hand have generated sympathy for her plight in life. Oh poor Melania. I feel so sorry for her.

Well dont say many of us. She's a co conspirator in the Maniac in Chief's coup. Going on news shows and pushing forward Birther bullshit about a real President. Participating in the Fascist in Chief's rallies. Melania, an illegal immigrant at one point herself, participates in the immigrant bashing that the Bigot in Chief continues to blather on about. So no sympathy, right?

Well Barack Obama obviously can forgive by making the woman laugh for maybe the first time in years.

So who am I to continue holding a grudge?

So that picture makes me happy. There, I said it. We can be a caring compassionate human being. Even if her husband is a self centered piece of trash.

Fore!

Vitter And The Critter!

Only the best people. That's what the Traitor in Chief promised his adoring racists fans during the campaign that he lost by 3 million votes yet somehow is in the White House making an ass of himself and making a shithole out of Reagan's shining light on the hill.

Only the best.

You mean like Wendy Vitter? The attorney apologist for the Archdiocese of Nawlins and the wife of noted diaper and hooker enthusiast, former Senator David Vitter (Baby Huey-La). The Syphilitic Brain in Chief has nominated her to be a federal judge for something called the Eastern District of Louisiana where she can practice her craft for life making sure white supremacy stays valid in Da South. Not only that she can practice her craft for life of keeping women as second class citizens just as her employer, the Catholics, intended. I wonder how many of those second class citizens her hubbie hired to cavort around with in his baby diaper?

Vitter is truly an awful choice to be in any position of power. I wouldnt want this 19th century mind running a souvenir shop down on Canal Street. This backwater barrister has continually pushed the junk science of the pro-life movement, You know, the oldies like women who have abortions all get cancer cuz of Jesus. That Planned Parenthood "killed" 150,000 women every year with their birth control and their pap smears and their selling those baby parts and their abortion referrals and their looking up womens naughty parts. Hey come on, that's her husbands field of expertise.

But the thing that Wendy Vitter did, or didnt do, says it all. Vitter, remember a LIFETIME federal judge nominee, would not say whether Brown vs Board of Education was correctly decided. You know Brown, the case that said yeah you know that Plessy v Ferguson deal, not so good. Separate but equal really doesnt work. So you white people cannot keep the blacks and browns and the Asians and the Indians out of your schools.

Nah, Wendy Vitter has no idea if that decision was right. Which tells me all I need to know about Ms.Vitter. She doesnt think it was correct and probably thinks that whole Civil Rights crap was started then and there. Oh how she and Diaper Boy must long for the days of Whites Only and Coloreds Only signs down there in Baton Rouge. That whole uppity Brown thing was bad for the country. She may as well have said so. How fucking hard would it be to lie thru her praline hole and just say yes like every other racist nominee does?

Vitter is such a terrible choice that an actual diaper wearing baby would be better for all the citizens of the 49th rated state for women's health care. That's out of 50 for you Trumpers.

Mike Pompeo for Secretary of State? Christ on a cracker it wasnt that long ago we were appalled at the head of Exxon being the nominee. You know, Rex Tillerson, the giant conflict of interest who now looks absolutely statesman like? Yep, they keep getting worse.

Pompeo, a nutjob former Congressman from Kansas, who had been CIA chief, is now the Puppet in Chief's choice to be America's Ambassador to the world. Pompeo began his hearing today by acting , unlike his boss, as a tough guy when it comes to our Russian masters. While the Republicans softballed this pudgy spymaster, only Cory Booker (Booker 2020-NJ) called out this conspiracy theory fan on his Muslim bashing and his uncomfortable feelings when he fantasizes thinks about the gays. Why he and Mike Pence were just talking about that the other day when their aides told them to get out of the closet, they had meetings.

Yeah, its this guy the Father of the Year in Chief wants running around the globe pushing American values, which of course do not exist any longer. He was asked that when if Trump is impeached or indicted or committed will he resign like every other rat on this sinking ship is doing? Pompeo said hell no and then brought up the Clinton impeachment which is every Republican's wet dream when backed into a corner.

Oh please, United States Senate, reject this climate change denying, anti-Muslim, homophobic, secret prison loving, government shutdown loving Kansas lamebrain for Secretary of State. Not only will we be even more of a laughingstock, it also puts this idiot up the line for the succession to the Oval Office when this corrupt and putrid Administration starts going to jail.

Vitter and Pompeo. Only the best.

Paul Ryan Douchebag!!

Remember back in 2012 when the human robot Mittens Romney picked the so called wonky economic genius Paul Ryan (Dick-Wi) to be his doomed vice presidential candidate. Hey everyone, the Republican Party is serious this time. No Alaska grifter bamboozling dummies for votes and money this time. We have the Wisconsin Wonder, Paul Ryan.

Then Joe Biden got a hold of this fuckin guy one night in the fall and exposed him for what he is. A punk. A smug Bro gracing Wisconsin lamebrains with his presence. He's like the nitwitted teacher who reads one chapter ahead and then pretends how much more informed he is. Its all bullshit. Paul Ryan is bullshit.

Ryan is the smirking jackoff in high school who walks around with his copy of Atlas Shrugged, wears the button down shirt, the khakis and carries the tiki torch for brain dead groups like InfoWars and The Federalist Society. Yeah, it may be excusable for a teenager, even a college kid, to carry the torch for a philosophy that by the time you hit adulthood will fade into oblivion. To be honest I had my own admiration for screwy organizations like the IRA and The Weathermen in my youth before maturing to the point where as much as I hated Nixon and Margaret Thatcher, I realized that killing people was wrong. But Ryan, the 48 year old juvenile, clings to that selfish Randian view that its me against you and you dont matter. Who does that at that age?

Ryan, who constantly tells you his father died when he was 16 and how this changed him to want to spend more time with his kids ( a sure sign you dont want anything to do with them, right Michael Jordan?). While I even feel sad that Daddy Ryan died while little Paul was still jacking it to The Fountainhead, you do realize that after he died, Paul Ryan gladly accepted Social Security survivor benefits through his college years. You know, the same Social Security that adult Paul dreams about taking away from you. The same Medicare that Paul Ryan (Satan-Wi) , covered by government health care the rest of his miserable life, wants to take away from you. As Biden said, this fuckin guy!

As much as I despise Trump, and would like to dump McConnell into a pile of horse shit at Churchill Downs, Paul Ryan is the worst fucking human being in government. His departure to allegedly spend more time with his damn near college age kids makes me want to stuff a wheel of cheese up his ass. Paul Ryan would take a lollipop from a toddlers mouth. Paul Ryan would take a walker from an old lady while screaming at her to help herself across the street, after paying the toll of course. Paul Ryan would close up an escape room with cement to keep any of them from getting out alive. Paul Ryan would go to a chemotherapy room and laugh at the losers sucking up Medicare money he wants for himself. Paul Ryan would go to a dog shelter and volunteer to euthanize any dog not adopted within 5 minutes to free up the cages for the homeless, who he'd then volunteer to euthanize also. Paul Ryan would tell Social Security & Medicare leech Ayn Rand she's changed and rip her poster off his wall.

Paul Ryan is going back to Wisconsin to count his taxpayer and special interest group money which has made him worth upwards of 7 million dollars, all earned from doing nothing but being in Congress. He will also count his lifetime pension paid for by us. He will also count his soon to come lobbyist salary after he decides his kids are a pain in his ass and only cost him money, the little panhandling urchins.

So from the bottom of my heart. Fuck you you empty eyed soulless vessel of Satan. No really, Fuck you you sociopath soul sucking vampire. No I mean it, Fuck you you self indulgent whimsical prick. From the bottom of my heart.

Chappaquiddick!!!

It was July of 1969, a Saturday,the Apollo 11 was heading for the moon, I had played in a baseball tournament in some hick town I still hate for various reasons, and my Dad and I were on the way home when the announcement came on the radio. Senator Ted Kennedy had been in a car accident that had resulted in a young woman's death to which my Dad said, well he's through in a tone that said to me wonderful Nixon is going to be re-elected. You see my Dad hated Nixon way before it was mandatory.

Chappaquiddick the movie came out this weekend. The trailers looked awful. It looked to me like some sort of Dinesh D'Souza hit job. It looked like it was made by the fucking Breitbart maniacs. So lets just say I expected to be appalled and maybe angered. Yes, I have a real life bias FOR the Kennedys and I wont apologize for it.

Chappaquiddick stars Jason Clarke (Zero Dark Thirty, Mudbound) as Ted Kennedy. Clarke is an appealing actor from way back when he starred in Chicago Code on TV and plays Kennedy as a confused, sort of dim witted party boy with a real sense of entitlement. Kate Mara plays the ill fated Mary Jo Kopechne as a true believer in the Kennedy agenda, one of the "Boiler Room Girls" who had been set adrift after the death of Bobby the year before. Damn, Kate Mara keeps getting killed by politicians.

One night, Kennedy takes a drive with Mary Jo and drives off the bridge into the water because he was texting (no not really) and Mary Jo drowns. Everybody knows this part.

The rest of the story is this movie. The cover up, the indifference to a young woman's death, the family muscle coming up with a plausible story, the victimization of Teddy, the horror that was Joseph Kennedy's parenting, the police ineptness and eventually the voters who, yes I admit it, much like Trumpers. dismissed this event as meaningless due to the charisma of this family.

The movie is interesting, its ultimately satisfying, but man does it move at a snail's pace. The energy that this movie could have had is not even existent. I mean there are maybe three moments that evoke any sort of energy at all. Kate Mara's Mary Jo gasping for air in the back of the car calling for Teddy to save her while he sits on the bank of the bay figuring out how to proceed, Joan Kennedy's reaction to Teddy thanking her for attending Mary Jo's funeral (its the best line in the movie) and Bruce Dern's Joe Kennedy slapping Teddy and telling him he would never be great. Other than that, its a sleep walking low energy 110 minutes.

The performance are good by people you wouldn't necessarily associate with this kind of movie. Ed Helms is great as the moral compass of a pretty morals lacking band of brothers. His Joe Gargan (a Kennedy cousin) is spot on. Jim Gaffigan as a flunky federal attorney hanger on (nice skivvies Jim) Mister Crabs Clancy Brown as a ruthless Bob McNamara and Taylor Nichols as Ted Sorenson are all good.

So see this movie if you must. It wont make you like Teddy Kennedy much. It will reinforce your negativity if you already hate a dead man. If you admired Teddy as I do, you will go well yeah that was pretty fucked up.

Ultimately the movie is about an event in a tortured man's life that probably should have resulted in his path to irrelevance. It basically did, as the Presidency was the only way he lives up to his family expectations. He of course ran a lackluster 1980 campaign for President in which he never could explain why he wanted to win. He lost. He never ran again and stayed a Senator. The Lion of the Senate to be exact.

I would equate this movie to that 1980 campaign. Yeah it had to be done, but man was it a slow, half assed road to nowhere.

Ta Riff Raff!

Being from the heartland, the breadbasket, Middle America, "real America" gives me a perspective I dont necessarily believe nor want. The agriculture perspective. The perspective that farmers are the saddest most disrespected folks on earth. The salt of the earth. Solid Republicans.

Well with the Fraud in Chief running the show, the sad farmers are about to get defrauded again. Oh it wont change anything in the way they vote but its going to hurt because the Chinese, who understand America a whole lot better than that talking orange pile of shit in the White House.

Trump's proposed trade war with a nation who owns our debt, a nation that relies on slave labor, is a folly unseen in many moons. The Chinese not only know who to hammer, they know why, something the Economic Imbecile in Chief doesnt get. The Chinese know who supports the Talking Sweet Potato in Chief. The aforementioned breadbasket. And they will make the Republican voting Aggies pay by slapping tariffs on soybeans, corn, sorghum, pork and wheat in effect forcing farm communities to really really think about who they vote for in 2018 or 2020 right before they vote for the R guy.

The story of this proposed idiotic 19th century solution to a non problem has many farmers around these parts a bit upset. I saw one express such concern that he actually thought Trump had "behind the scenes" negotiations going on and all would be fine. So of course it wasnt Trumps fault this tariff shit was on the horizon, it was the media's fault for reporting it without telling us all about the secret "negotiations".

So despite Senator Ben Sasse (Fake Intellectual-Ne) calling Trump "half nuts" over this dumbass tariff nonsense (he will just go back to DC and do whatever McConnell tells him to do anyway), Heartland farmers are still solidly in the corner of their Cult Leader in Chief.

Perhaps one of these days these salt of the earth types will abandon the despise the minorities at all costs mentality and realize that a guy from Queens doesnt know shit about anything west of Teaneck and wise up. Wise up and vote for people who are in their corner.

Yeah Yeah Im not holding my breath. After all, a caravan of browns is coming to invade. If they get past the National Guard and make it to the Midwest, well by gawd, the salt of the earth types may have to put down the shotgun and hire them all to work in the fields all the while clamoring for that stupid fucking Wall.

Oh hypocrisy. It's the Midwest way. China gets that real good.

Early Evening April Four!!!

As an 10 year old white kid from the Midwest I never really thought about race or war or cruelty or poverty or discrimination. It didnt affect me much. I just went to my 99% white grade school every morning and then came home. Oh I'd seen racism in action when in 2nd grade some kid in my class stabbed a black kid in the back with a pencil and still to this day remember the kid's tears as he walked by me leaving the school forever. I found it disturbing and didnt understand it but racism? I was 7.

But when April 4, 1968 happened, it changed me forever. The news break that announced the assassination of Dr Martin Luther King made me go what? My father was disturbed but not for the reasons I was. He was concerned about riots. I was just offended by it all. I was offended that a man was murdered for having the gall to demand equality. I was offended because a man was murdered because his skin color was different. I was offended because a man was taken from his children.

I barely remembered the JFK killing. But this one meant something to me. It affected me. Walk in a man's shoes before you judge.

Five years ago we road tripped to Dallas to be at the Texas School Book Depository in the 50th year since Jack Kennedy was murdered. It was something I had to do.

This year we road tripped to Memphis to be at the Lorraine Motel in the 50th year since Dr Martin Luther King Jr was murdered. It was also something I felt I had to do. The Lorraine Motel has become ground zero for what is now known as the National Civil Rights Museum.

Seeing the Lorraine Motel sign, seeing the balcony on which Dr King was killed, seeing the rooming house across the street. It's all there. Once you allow yourself to get the chills out of your system you can enter the museum. The history of a people. a movement, an atrocity, a tragedy, the shame of a nation.

Beginning with slavery, you see it all. The burned out Freedom Riders bus, the slave ships, the bus where Rosa Parks said no (did you know others also said no before Rosa Parks did?), the Panthers, the March on Washington, all of it is here. It is perhaps the most interesting museum I have ever been to.

The tour ends with a chance to see the room in which Dr King stayed. You see the room, the balcony, the rooming house across the street where the shooter lay in wait. They always refer to "the shooter", not the name of that guy who they claimed did the deed. The room is where you can show respect. Dr Kings last place of rest. You think it cant get any more intense.

But it does, The trip across the street to the shooters rooming house. The strange timeline of an escaped convict. The gun. The bathroom where the shooter lay in a bathtub, opened a window and shot a man to death. The window is till open. The view is chilling. Its even worse when you go back across the street and can see the open window.

The night before he was murdered, Dr Martin Luther King gave a speech to striking Memphis sanitation workers. A truly mic drop speech. A speech that in retrospect, you know he knew. He knew he was going to die. You see it in his eyes, you hear it in his voice. That speech makes one get tears in your eyes. See it.

I look at the nation in 2018 and often wonder is it any better. I mean we have a bonafide white supremacist asshole in the White House. We have the alt right and the economically anxious. We have rogue racist cops killing unarmed black men and women without consequences. We have a white population who has freaked out that a black man was elected President and given a majority of its votes to some of the most evil cretins of all time. Is it any better?

So today, on the 50th anniversary of this horrific event, the killing of a great American, please just shut the fuck up about Dr King being a "Republican" or how he would be very conservative or blow that content of their character shit in someone's face. Take a step back for once. Please dont holler the empty headed "All Lives Matter" nonsense at anyone. You really have no idea what you are talking about. Just shut up.

Saying that, I know its not going to happen. I am going to get angry at phony tweets and speeches made by outright racists like our President and Vice President. Empty blathering from Eddie Munster Paul Ryan and others.

50 years was a long time ago. Or was it?

The Big Easy!

There are three things I fear. One is water. I dont like the ocean, the lakes, the bays, the swimming pool. This makes it good I live in a flipping desert. I dont like crowds. Claustrophobia is real to me. It makes me sweat and bolt. Elevators better be fast and empty or I'm in trouble. The third thing I fear is reptiles. Snakes, Gators all that creepy shit I simply dont like.

So where did we go for Spring Break?

New Orleans of course. Home to water,crowds and reptiles. Never been there. Never been in the South other than Texas and thats its own nation anyway.

After detours to Little Rock and Memphis (more on that later) we drove through Mississippi to get to New Orleans. Thrilling y'all.

Entering Louisiana I immediately hit a 20 mile bridge over swamps and lakes and who knows what. It was causing me to freak out and I hadnt even hit Bourbon Street yet. The bridge over hell finally ended and New Orleans appeared. Who Dat! The Superdome, the Smoothie King arena, gigantic above ground cemeteries and what seemed like hundreds of billboards put up by ambulance chasers promising everybody hundreds of thousands of dollars for just getting hurt. Dope.

The hotel booked for the occasion was called the Le Richelieu and was blocks from the French Quarter and had a Paul McCartney Suite for when Sir Paul stayed there in 1975 recording Venus and Mars. That suite was booked. I asked.

The Le Richelieu was old and hidden away on those narrow ass streets they have down there. Christ a mule was walking down the street and even he was going hee haw these streets are narrow.

New Orleans is a walking city. Well at least for me it was. Bourbon Street awaited and we hit it full steam ahead. Strip joints, bars, hole in the wall restaurants, souvenir shops, and drunks. And that smell of piss and alcohol everybody loves. We arent drinkers so it was all food and walking around. A guy froze for money. A guy's dog froze for money. Barkers tried to get me into the Barely Legal Club, Ricks Cabaret Club, Centerfolds.One barker charmingly told me there were "great tits and pretty good food" in there. Well great, at least it wasnt the other way around.

Traveling with a history major can be trying. Every historical marker, every museum, every battlefield, every place where Huey Long may have taken a bribe must be visited. Hmmm, this sounds familiar. Not sure why. I can hear my parents screeching from the grave, ITS YOU ITS YOU WE HAVE OUR REVENGE!!!

Day 2 was a bus ride to the World War II museum. For the love of FDR, if you read everything there was to read in this place you'd spend as much time as it took to crush the Nazis. That is until they rose again in 2016. It is really a fascinating place to visit. Thanks to the incredible provincialism Americans suffer from the museum tour begins at Peal Harbor. The Brits and the French dont exist. Had they started in 1939, I'd still be there hollering about "Jerries" and the "Bosch". Instead it starts with "Japs". And man oh man do you hear that word over and over. You wonder what the substantial number of Asians think when old guys on film constantly say "Japs". Holy Political Correctness. Im off topic already.

Day 3 was the driving day. Out to the swamps for a boat ride. A nice slow tour boat with a roof and a guide. Driving thru the back roads of Looziana to a real life swamp, the Jean Lafitte Park. Nice slow tour boat? Sold out. A fast moving airboat, twice as much money and not sold out. Ouch. But it was a blast.

The airboat, captained by a Cajun character with tons of stories, a passion for protecting alligators and probably a PHD in some subject way over my head, made that boat fly at times and made it slow down at others, usually to see gators swimming around trying to get out of the way. At one point he stopped in a cove, made a comment about gators loving the food he was bringing them much to my chagrin and then pulled out a bag of marshmallows. This caused the gators to swim at the boat like begging dogs. They were rewarded with marshmallows, and we were rewarded with stories and fact about alligators I never knew. They aint gonna eat you folks. They cant swalla y'all so they pose no threat. It was a great 2 hours.

Off to the Battle of New Orleans site. The actual battlefield with a rampart and a large field where people died. It's places like this that give me the creeps. Knowing this is the exact site this happened sets my Geek meter off. Its a national park and its free. For now, till Trump and his goons think they can drill for oil or some other stupid shit.

Off to the Lower 9th Ward. The Lower 9th Ward was devastated by Katrina. It was the place where people were standing on their roofs begging to be saved. The levees broke here the hardest, barges went thru the neighborhood flattening houses and people died. The Lower 9th Ward is maybe 50% back. Nice new house next to a devastated house. The 9th Ward was a life lesson on how good you have it. A reminder that a helluva lot of people dont.

Back to the French Quarter for a trip thru the New Orleans Jazz Museum. Theres not a lot there since its undergoing a lot of work. But seeing Louis Armstrongs trumpet was worth the time.

The French Market is a trip thru a a flea market of junk and food. Thats where the Praline Begneit reared its ugly head and hooked me for life. Damn, the food in New Orleans is the best ever. Real life creole, jambalaya, gator, gumbo, etoufee, red beans and rice, seafood oh my its just wonderful.

But the piece de resistance of the whole trip was that last night of standing in line for 45 minutes to pay $20 to get into the the Temple of Jazz, Preservation Hall. To stand like a can of sardines along the back of the room and witness a 45 minute jazz jam led by the legendary Charlie Gabriel and the Preservation Hall Jazz Band was one of those moments in my life where I can truly say I will never ever forget. If I had a bucket list, and I do, this check mark really counted. It was 45 minutes in heaven.

The next morning we were leaving New Orleans on the way back to Memphis (more on that later) via Vicksburg for more history geek stuff.

Ever drive over a 24 mile long bridge over Lake Pontchartrain? Where you cant see land for what seemed like ever? Where the lake has white caps and you are driving over it? And it goes up and down and when you come down you feel like you are on a roller coaster to hell?

Yep that was my last memory of New Orleans. Water. Claustrophobia. I dont know if there are any reptiles in that Lake, but we did see a freakin pelican coming right for our windshield.

It was glorious.