The Oscars!

It was last year when Bonnie and Clyde wandered onto the Oscar stage to present Best Picture award. After a substantial portion of the world said "who the hell ARE those old people?" Clyde opened the envelope. thought what the fuck, and showed it to Bonnie who blurted out the words "La La Land" and the rest is one big clusterfuck of the La La Land posse getting onstage, realizing that they didnt win and calling the Moonlight club to get up there cuz they actually won. Wow. What can happen THIS year?

Supporting Actor

1) Willem Dafoe - a lifetime achievement award? He did keep an overrated movie called The Florida Project alive everytime I wanted to kick one of those obnoxious little punks ass.
2) Woody Harrelson- he was the best part of that 3 Billboards hatefest and even he whacked himself halfway through which is what I wanted to do
3) Richard Jenkins- the gay neighbor role in The Shape of Water. He's always great
4) Christopher Plummer- its hard to imagine All The Money In The World without him. If it wasnt Michelle Williams movie, it was his. And he shot it all in 2 weeks
5) Sam Rockwell- I love Sam Rockwell. He's been great for years. But 3 Billboards? The redeemable racist thug cop who throws people out of 2nd story windows? Really? No tghanks

Who Should Win--Christopher Plummer
Who Will Win-- Sam Rockwell

Supporting Actress

1) Mary J Blige-- Mudbound is on Netflix. It's really good. She has no chance.
2) Allison Janney--she's the cartoonish mother ion I Tonya. She's wonderful while she's chewing up the scenery. But she's a cartoon
3) Leslie Manville--The Phantom Thread was a chore to watch. It was necessary to see, but it was a snoozer. Im not even sure which character she was,
4) Laurie Metcalf--Lady Birds mom. Not a cartoon. A real person. A great performance. She's fantastic.
5) Octavia Spencer-- She was in The Shape of Water. Like Richard Jenkins she was glue. She's already got one.

Who Should Win-- Laurie Metcalf
Who Will Win-- Allison Janney

Best Actor

1) Denzel Washington--Denzel is glue. He was great as an autistic lawyer in Roman J Israel Esq. I liked the movie more than most.
2) Daniel Kaluuya--Get Out was freakin great. It was satire at its modern finest. But as time fades, so does Get Out.
3) Daniel Day-Lewis--because he's Daniel Day-Lewis and he's the greatest actor of his generation. The Phantom Thread was a waste of his talents
4) Gary Oldman--he's never won an Oscar? He's hardly ever been nominated? Was he in The Darkest Hour? All I saw was Winston Churchill
5) Timothee Chalamet--Call Me By Your Name was stunning. This kid was in it AND Lady Bird. The 7 minutes of acting he did in the credits of Call Me was Oscar worthy

Who Should Win-- Gary Oldman
Who Will Win-- Gary Oldman
Who Should Get An Oscar within 5 Years- Tim Chalamet

Best Actress

1) Sally Hawkins-- Her goofy face alone acts better than a lot of actresses. Her mute fish fetishist in The Shape of Water was solid as hell
2) Frances McDormand--she doesnt give two shits what you think of her. Her grieving mother in 3 Billboards was the anti-Marge Gunderson. I hated her character. Her range is thus unlimited
3) Margot Robbie--I'll give her credit. She was fantastic. I Tonya was too
4) Saoirse Ronan-- since I first saw her in Atonement, she is my favorite young actress out there. She's the new Streep. Lady Bird is her second masterpiece at age 23. Oh, Brooklyn was the first
5) Meryl Streep--Like Gary Oldman, Meryl becomes her character. Her Katherine Graham made The Post. She shold have 15 Oscars by now, if not 20.

Who Should Win--Saoirse Ronan
Who Will Win-- Frances McDormand
Who Deserves To Win--Meryl Streep

Best Director

1) Christopher Nolan--is anybody better than him. No. Dunkirk is captivating
2) Jordan Peele--Get Out for his first effort is amazing.
3) Greta Gerwig-- Lady Bird is writing at its finest. She ought to win that award.
4) Paul Thomas Anderson--The Phantom Thread is so not him. I should admire it. I apologize I dont
5) Guillermo Del Toro--I am not sure I want to be in this guy's creative mind. The Shape of Water is as good as Pan's Labyrinth.

Who Should Win--Christopher Nolan
Who Will Win--Guillermo Del Toro

Best Picture

1) Call Me By Your Name--35 year old guy having affair with teenager? Hey, thats how it may be see by voters. As unfair as that is, no chance
2) Darkest Hour--its British, its cerebral, its got Winston Churchill, its not going to win
3) Dunkirk--its British, its suspenseful, and it is a classic. Nope
4) Get Out--its satire, its racial, its ending is so ridiculous they actually filmed a realistic ending. It has a punchers chance
5) Lady Bird--good lord I cant rave about this slice of life movie enough. It has a chance if others split the vote
6) Phantom Thread--huh? what? Is it over?
7) The Post--anyone under 40 probably laughed at how newspapers used to be. In fact, what IS a newspaper?
8) The Shape Of Water--Do they have the raisins to give Best Picture to a movie like this? The Sexy Fish movie?
9) Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri--Its mean spirited, its dark, it features behavior that is criminal yet goes unpunished and its infuriating. The longer time marches on, the more I hate it

What Should Win--Dunkirk
What Will Win--Lady Bird (for the upset)

Finally please. Hammer that fucking Trump hard. You know he would give it all up to be accepted by Hollywood. Make his world even more miserable before he gets indicted. Please, MORE politics, not less.

Best 2017 Movies!

Hey its Oscar weekend. Ive seen all the movies finally. For 2017 was a pretty good year for flicks, right? You had disappointments like Beatriz At Dinner, and pleasant surprises like Baby Driver. It had trash like Brawl in Cell Block 99 and fun rides like American Made. 2017 also had perhaps the worst day in my movie going life when I endured the worst movie Ive ever seen, Mother, and two hours later endured the creepy and boring ass It. But it also had great movie going days like Logan Lucky, the best Coen Brothers movie of recent years (I know it wasnt the Coens but it seemed like it was) and then seeing It Comes At Night, a superior "horror" movie to Get Out, in my opinion.

But lets move on. Here are my Top 10 Movies of 2017.

10) John Wick 2

Sequels generally suck. John Wick 2 did not. The choreography in this shoot em up was as well done as the original. John Wick is a great character and a fine franchise. Much like Taken, another pleasant find years ago, this franchise has legs. They may have hit the mark here and if they make a new John Wick movie chances are it will be Taken 3. But lets hope not.

9) I Tonya

Margot Robbie has never impressed me as an actress. Suicide Squad is godawful, she is godawful in it. But as Tonya Harding in I Tonya, she made a believer out of me. The wacky "true" story of the late 80's to mid 90's soap opera involving Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan is really a great study of someone who you cannot help but sympathize with. I know Tonya Harding knew Gillooley and Eckhart were going to kneecap her competition in Massachusetts and did nothing to stop it. I know she'd do it again. But god help me, theres a little part of me that likes Tonya Harding. Sorry.

8) Wonder

Jacob Tremblay is a kid actor that much like Dakota Fanning before him, holds his own with anybody they put in front of him. He plays a young child with a deformed face who is put into middle school with other kids after being home schooled by Julia Roberts, his mother. Let me tell you, if you dont cry more than once during this movie, you are truly heartless. Jacob Tremblay is that good. So is this movie.

7) The Post

Yeah we know the story. Its about Watergate, right? Uhhh no, its about the Pentagon Papers and the decision on whether the Washington Post will publish them, risking jail and destruction. Its also the story of the growth of Katherine Graham as a feminist and as a human. Its a great movie. Meryl Streep is phenomenal. Sorry if thats a cliche' but theres no denying reality.

6) Wind River

Its this years Hell or High Water. Well written, a point of view, and Jeremy Renner. Renner is a cop investigating the murder of a young Indian woman in rural Wyoming. Its twists and turns continue the entire movie and will not disappoint. I also love any movie that employs the great Graham Greene and Gil Birmingham.

5) Detroit

This overlooked Kathryn Bigelow film just kind of faded away as people ran off to superhero movies last summer. Detroit takes place in 1967 Detroit and is about an ill fated police raid on a motel. Its got racism, racism and more racism. But what it really has is the toughest half hour to watch in any movie in 2017 when Detroit cops mock execute various detainees until something goes horribly wrong. This movie slipped thru the cracks. See it.

4)The Shape Of Water

I love Del Toro's movies. Full of color and fantasy and so utterly like nothing you're ever seen before. The Shape of Water, about a mute clean up lady played by Sally Hawkins at a top secret government facility back in Cold War America and a sea creature being tortured by an evil Michael Shannon that form a relationship. Despite the sex with a fish scenes, this colorful fairy tale hooked me from the start. Let it reel you in too.

3) Call Me By Your Name

There are times I feel this movie may be my favorite. The story of a older grad student having a summertime romance with the young son of his mentor is often so real its scary.Yeah I know Armie Hammer looks 35 and Timothy Challomet looks 12 but get past it because the story is both joyful and inevitably heartbreaking. Ive seen this movie twice, which generally means it made me feel something. Like I said, joy AND heartbreak. The soundtrack is also great. The last 10 minutes with Michael Stulberg and Timothy Challomet ARE the best 10 minutes of film of the year.

2) Lady Bird

I walked out of the theater at my advanced age and felt like a teenager again. The writing ,by director Greta Gerwig, was so spot on there isnt a human being, male or female, who couldnt identify with at least some of this movie. And if you are of an advanced age, and a parent, you can see this fantastic movie from both sides. Saoirse Ronan is going to win Oscars galore in her career. Dont tell me she was better in Brooklyn as a sort of criticism of Lady Bird because she is great in everything she does. Laurie Metcalf will probably not win an Oscar for this movie but she deserves it for playing Lady Bird's mom. Lady Bird is brilliant. Period.

1) Dunkirk

Christopher Nolan's masterpiece, well one of his masterpieces, is Dunkirk. Starting with the fleeing to the French beach and ending with the British army being taken home by fishing boats and trawlers, Dunkirk tells the story from 3 different timelines. It may confuse you as it did me, but once you get the hang of it its thrilling. You know how it ends, yet you still sit on the edge of your seat as nameless faceless German planes attack relentlessly. Its arguable about how great it is in comparison to The Darkest Hour, which is much more cerebral, but nobody captures tension like Nolan. Bravo!

Now about one more movie. I know its not great. I know its ear candy. I know its bullshit as history but The Greatest Showman was the one movie all year I sat in and had 90 minutes of fun. The multi talented Hugh Jackman and the multi talented Michelle Williams sing and dance their way across the screen as PT Barnum and wife and its a freakin joy. Catchy tunes, underdog themes and an Oscar worthy original song. Loved it.