Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Chief Pentagon Stenographer, Lara Logan!

Lara Logan, chief foreign correspondent on CBS News, is all upset over reporter Michael Hastings reporting the truth abour General Stanley McChrystal? She's pissed that Hastings told the truth? She stated there is "an element of trust" between reporters and the miltary. She stated there are "ground rules" when reporting on the military insinuating that they protect you in exchange for buying into their bullshit. The she said " to be fair to the military, if they believe a piece is balanced, they will let you back in" What? Examine that statement for one second. Balanced? To me that means "report" whatever they tell you to report. That's balance? For access? Lara Logan is a whore. Figuratively speaking of course.

Logan,like most of the rest of the lazy ass American media, is jealous of this Michael Hastings story. They don't like somebody coming in and pissing in their free food tent. The American media will do whatever it takes to stay inside that free food tent and that includes "reporting" pure unadulterated horseshit fed to them by the powers that be in the United States armed forces. Logan fluffed the Air Force on 60 Minutes by "reporting" how successful the unmanned drones have been without mentioning anything about the thousands of civilians being whacked by these video game like killers.

Logan is also married to Joe Burkett, a defense contractor or something, and pregnant for about the 18th month or so and doing most of her "reporting" from studios in the U.S. You can hardly see Katie Couric about upchuck everytime she's forced to listen to Logan's propaganda.

Lara, listen, Stanley McChrystal was an insubordinate sonuvabitch and deserved to be canned long ago for covering up Pat Tillman's fragging, serving up this idiotic COIN war strategy, and for having a big fucking mouth. He'll be better of when he joins Fox News as its resident Commander in Chief basher. And Logan will be better off when she moves over to Fox to compete with Cariboob Barbie and Gretchen "the presidents job is just like my job" Carlson for hottest Republican shill.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Don't Let The Door Hit Ya On The Way Out, Stan!

Well Barack Obama showed he wouldn't stand for one of his employees dissing he and his staff and fired said employee. Employee Stanley McChrystal is gone. Gone for being a dope.

I really shouldn't diss Stanley McChrystal's long service to this nation so I will stop. Thanks for the service, General. Thanks for covering up the Pat Tillman murder with bullshit stories of heroism. Tillman didn't need to be lied about. He already was a hero. Thanks for you flawed strategy in this pointless war that even your ground troops aren't buying into. Thanks for winning the hearts and minds of the Afghan people. Thanks for convincing Obama this is a war that can be won by sending more naive' young people into a meat grinder. Thanks for propping up that mound of jello, Hamid Karzai, and getting the endorsement of that three faced leech.

The sad part of this whole clusterfuck is the article in Rolling Stone was the last straw. The article shows McChrystal and his yes men as a group of juvenile posers. One who equates dinner with Frenchmen as "gay", calls his team of advisors "Team America", jokes about the Vice President's name calling him "Bite Me", and acts like he's president of Tappa Kegga Beer. This shouldn't have been the last straw, he should have gone a long freakin' time ago.

Now the right, in its genetic predisposition to bow to anything in authority, is going to skewer Obama. Sean Hannity is already getting off just thinking about it. It's a right winger's wet dream. Who can I bow to? McChrystal or BP? How about both? Oh yes oh yes.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

So Long My Friend!

Flakey was crazy. He hated other dogs. He wasn't fond of most people. But Flakey was never a dull dog. Crazy you know. Until recently when he began to strain while peeing , had trouble with his back leg, and began to do a lot of sleeping. Last July, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer and given a month or two. He made it 11. Today I had to put my friend to sleep.

Flakey was a rescue dog. A West Highland Terrier to be exact. His past is a mystery but with his "PF" tattoo it isn't hard to figure he was a puppy farm inhabitant. My Mom had just lost her dog, Callie, to a heart attack in the kitchen and was urged to get a companion. Callie was a lap dog, dumb as a box of rocks, but sweet and loving. Flakey was at the pound. We went to see him. She balked. He was gone the next day. A week later I was scouting for a dog for her and Voila! Flakey was back. I called her and urged her to come get him. She balked again. The next day he was gone again. Another few days passed and in my quest to find her a dog, again, Voila! Flakey was back again with stitches over his eye from being nailed by a car. This time Mom said yes, and we took him to her house. Flakey was her friend for the rest of her life. And mine. Mom often said she didn't like the fact he liked me more than her. I doubt that was true but I was the one who came over and walked him and took him for rides. When she died, I inherited Flakey and he became mine. Kindred spirits so to speak. Crazy loners.

It's so strange how dogs affect your life. If I told you I had a crazy dog who attacks other dogs, runs away when given the opportunity, got hit by cars who knows how many times, didn't stop barking at strangers ever, tore up couches and was a real pain in the ass sometimes, would you want him? Mom did, I did,and the rest is pleasant history. He affected my life and I am better for it.

The dog by which all others are judged is Pete, our childhood dog. Saint Pete I often referred to him as when Mom complained Flakey sat on her couch looking out the window (Pete did that), when he would bark uncontrollably at doorbells and strangers (Pete did that), cocked his head to the side when asked a question (Pete did that), went batshit crazy when his leash was taken out of the drawer (Pete did that). Flakey was Pete. I'm not sure she ever got that.

Flakey was restless last night. He couldn't get comfortable. He was climbing on me and panting. He was unable to stand when I let him outside. He was reeling like a punch drunk fighter and falling. It was time. Oh how I resisted this day. I'd never had the guts to take a dog on that last ride. I had to.

At the hospital Flakey was in my arms and when he saw two other dogs his head suddenly popped up for a second to tell them I don't like you, but his head dropped back. They sedated him, I said goodbye, he looked in my eyes and laid his head back down, and then it was done. Flakey had moved on. It was so tough to keep myself together.I failed. I cried all the way home.

I hope to God there's something beyond this polluted world. I hope the whole rainbow bridge tale is true. I hope my Mom and Flakey are together again. I really do.

Will Rogers said it best, "If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went". Me too.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Bees! Bees! They're Sting Crazy!

All over I hear Americans, who proclaim their disdain for all things soccer, whining about the buzzing sound heard at every World Cup game. The vuvuzelahs, aka air horns, those plastic horns everybody had in the 1970's, are prevalent in South Africa and they blow them constantly. It sounds like a billion locusts are attacking the Earth. Michele Bachmann must be so frustrated the rapture hasn't taken place even though the locusts are here.

Oh come on, stop complaining. If Americans were allowed to take air horns into stadiums, we'd hear the same thing (though Americans would probably use the kind where you don't have to do anything like exert yourself to make noise). If Nebraska's Memorial Stadium allowed you to take anything in other than those stupid cornheads, we'd see blue hairs dropping like soccer floppers trying to keep up with the buzzing noise. I think a lot of this has to do with jealousy. American stadiums have become libraries as the population ages. Shhhhhhh, I can't hear. Down in front! Hey kids, could ya stop that hey batta batta stuff!

I have learned to like the pleasant buzzing of soccer fans in South Africa. It's like white noise machines. It is relaxing as I fall asleep during a 0-0 Honduras-Chile battle.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Ku Klux King!

Wow, that's a whole lotta crazy goin' on there. But just when you are ready to crown Michele Bachmann with the tin foil crown, back comes Steve King with a late rally. King is a nut, look at his Jesus-filled crazy eyes, and he keeps getting re-elected in a Congressional district right across the Missouri River from me. In fact, some of his district lies on my side of the river in a tiny section of Iowa that refuses to admit they are really Nebraska. In fact, for years the district was represented by a liberal Democrat who was highly popular. He retired, and they put some wacky juice in the water and along came King.

In case you haven't heard King's latest head up ass quote, it goes something like this. "The president has demonstrated he has a default mechanism that breaks down on the side of race-on the side that favors the black person". You know, the black person? That person with double and triple the unemployment rate of the rest of King's paleface constituency. The black person? That person with 1 out of 44 Presidential representation. Or maybe 1/2 of 44. Somewhere between 1 and 2 percent for you people who don't like numbers unless it's up on a Powerball billboard.

King did say this on G.Gordon Liddy's radio show. WTF? Liddy is still alive? And he has a radio show? For chrissakes, I thought for sure by now Liddy would be plotting with Nixon, Haldeman and Ehrlichman to bug Satan's I Phone. But apparently being a rat eating psychotic with a Just For Men mustache makes you immortal or something.

A default mechanism? Does King think Obama is a real robot? I know he acts like one sometimes but wigga please, Bill Clinton is blacker than Barack Obama ever thought of being.

Please Iowa, send this construction worker lunkhead back to Kiron where he can open a small motel and scare children with his tied up jackal dogs and nightly incantations. For now at least, the stunning Steve King has the tin foil crown Bachmann so covets. Whoda ever thought the Midwest could produce two such home school role models as these? We are such practical people out here. As long as the President is white, Republican and slightly retarded.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Hold Me Closer Tiny Rushbo!

Get off Elton John's back for whoring himself out for a million bucks and playing Rush Limbaugh's fourth wedding. Guests included Karl Rove, Clarence Thomas, Sean Hannity,Rudy Guiliani, Tom Watson,George Brett, and James Carville and Mary Matalin. Come on now, what self respecting gay man could resist that hunka hunka burnin' man-flesh?

No report on the rumors Rush made his bride dress like a 7 year old Dominican boy on the wedding night.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Carter's Little Pills!

Thirty years ago, Jimmy Carter looked at the folks watching him on television and said, " Too many of us now tend to worship self-indulgence and consumption. Human identity is no longer defined by what one does, but by what one owns." President Carter told Americans they had a "crisis of confidence" and because of "fragmentation and self interest" we were preventing ourselves from facing the coming energy crisis. Carter told Americans "every act of energy conservation is more than common sense, it's an act of patriotism".

That speech, commonly referred to as the "malaise" speech, has been reworked by conservatives interested in distorting history to be the antithesis to Ronald Reagan's dopey optimism and gasbag patriotism. Carter's speech back in 1979 was a winner at the time. Americans agreed the country was becoming a land of self centered slobs. But due to sloppy followups and the Iran hostage crisis, in which Cronkite told us every goddamned day how many days those people had been held, Reagan's vapid sense of delusion took over. The rest is unfortunate history.

Had we listened to Jimmy Carter's warnings back in 1979, we wouldn't be a slave to giant oil overseers like BP, Shell, Exxon and the rest of them. We'd be further along in getting rid of the 19th century technology known as the internal combustion engine. Coal and oil? Are we serious? This is the future? Meanwhile, coal miners and oil rig workers continue to be murdered by profit gulping energy conglomerates unconcerned with safety and very concerned with growth rates and dividends.

We now are finally witnessing this oil gusher's path of environmental destruction. I challenge anyone to see oil engulfed birds and mammals and not be moved. This is an absolute crime. Not only the crime of negligent homicide, but of crimes against humanity. The Hague needs the crank up its court docket. Right after Bush and Cheney, admitted war criminals as of this week, the BP, Trans Ocean, and Haliburton executives needs to be dragged back there for justice.

To close, let's just say President Carter was right. He still may not be the best President who ever lived, but being right once is one more time than you can say about his successor, his successor, and that successor's stupid son.