Is That Mitt Romney Or Did A Mannequin Get Loose?

Now that Republicans have gotten over the every four years pretend phase, you know the time when the media gets all atwitter over what some rubes in Iowa or New Hampshire might do, like vote for Pat Buchanan or Rick Santorum or Pat Robertson or Daffy Duck, we all know that Willard Mittens Romney is going to be the turkey served up to the Obamas this November. Republicans just cannot stop letting the next guy who has been in line the longest ahead of them and nominating him. They've done it since about 1860, when that radical bearded Marxist Abe Lincoln stuck it to the South and freed the whaaaaaaaat?

Mittens Romney is it. The guy that Republican America thinks has the best chance of beating that radical socialist black dude and his pissed off wife this coming election. Mitt Romney? Are you fucking kidding me?

This robotic phony has been running for years. Changing his mind on everything depending on what bunch of peasants he's honoring with his presence. But the real Mitt Romney isn't even Mitt Romney. Discuss.

Willard Mitt Romney, born in 1947 in Detroit. You know Detroit. That city where they used to make cars and millions of Americans made a comfortable life for themselves. Until guys like Mitt Romney came into power. Not political power, screw that. Financial power. They destroyed the auto industry, not the hard working union folks. With their profit motive and complete disdain for the safety of the American public, these corporate raiders maximized profits for themselves, screamed poverty for their companies, blamed the unions and wrecked millions of lives. Oh yeah, until Barack Obama saved the industry with the "bail out", loans paid back with interest. Mitt Romney would have loved to have "fired people" and run the industry out of his hometown. He said so. What a prick.

Willard Mitt Romney, co founder of Bain Capital. A "venture capitalist", Mitt and his boys would buy financially troubled companies through a practice known as "leveraged buyouts", in effect buying the company using its own assets as collateral, squeezing every cent it can out of it, then selling off the remaining assets for a profit, and sending thousands of people packing off to the unemployment office. Mitt makes money, you get laid off. What a prick.

Willard Mitt Romney, the man who saved the 2002 Winter Olympics by strongarming his fellow Mormons to save the state of Utah's image from not knowing how to bribe scuzzy Euro Olympic hacks by contributing huge amounts of money and making a profit of $100 million. Yay! If you dont count the $250 million they spent on "security" that is. It's the Romney accounting way! What a prick.

But the real Willard Mitt Romney could be summed up by Seamus, Romney's Irish Setter back in 1983. The late Seamus might ask why Mitt stuffed him into a dog carrier, strapped him to the top of a car, and drove 12 hours from Boston to Canada? Christ, Seamus crapped all over the back window of the car he was so scared, winded or giving up on life. When Mitt's son, Tagg (what is up with these Republican names for children?), said oh Dad, there's brown stuff all over the back window, Willard Mitt pulled the car over at a gas station, took Seamus out of the carrier, hosed him down, and stuffed him back in that cage on top of the car. Kind of like what Mitt did at Bain Capital. Hosed you down and stuffed you into a cage. If he does that to a dog, his own dog, what would he do to you? Somebody he doesnt even know? What a prick.

Yeah that's the real Willard Mitt Romney. A robotic, emotionless prick who after his dog craps himself, doesnt have the decency to think, oh my, maybe putting the dog on top of the car wasnt such a good idea, I will let him ride in the car. Nope, not this guy.

Dog abuser, elitist who thinks nothing of betting $10K on what he wrote in a book, hacksaw capitalist who thinks "corporations are people my friend", a sadist who takes pleasure in "firing people", a man made rich by making regular folks lives miserable adding on to his third house in San Diego. Yep, third house. No fake clearing brush for this asshole if he wins.

That's the real Willard Mitt Romney. You can have him, Republican voters. Buyer's remorse is a bitch. You'll find that out soon enough.