Iowa? Isn't That the Potato State?

All right. It's finally here. The every four year fraud that is the Iowa caucuses. Where a bunch of home schoolers waddle down to the local school they loathe to cast a vote for somebody who hasn't a bowl of chips chance at an Iowa Tea Party of winning anything except an ass kicking in the future.

C Span,that network only lone gunmen in the making watch, has been popping a cork showing all the candidates posing with their fans. The Paultards dressed in skinny ties and gravy stained plaid shirts posing with the 78 year old nutjob, the horny male farmers trying to get with Michele Bachmann like she aint been got with since she married that prancing Marco guy, the people holding their noses as they stand next to Mittens Romney, the morally blinded Obama haters posing with a greasy former speaker of the house, the frothy mix of Iowans slithering up to Santorum and the former Herman Cain lovers who bring the pizza.

The Iowa caucus, come on folks, it's a tourist trap. Every four years this irrelevant bunch of small town rubes get to pretend everybody likes them and cares what they think. They get attention from a bunch of sleazy candidates, a bunch of drunken press sots, and a TV network full of liars, charlatans and blondes. Iowa gets to make a lot of money off this fraud. Much like Disney, it's all bullshit. But they keep coming and spending. Unlike Disney, who knows what a money grubbing machine it is, Iowans actually think you like them, you really like them.

Sometime later tonigh, if you can stomach it, turn on C Span and really watch what a crock of pig shit this Iowa caucus really is. And I know. I lived there at one time and participated in one of these jokes. Bullied by the local loudmouth, most of these people don't even knw what they are doing. Go stand in a corner if you like Ron Paul. Go sit over there if you like Mittens Romney. Go outside and bay at the moon if you like Michele Bachmann. That's what goes on. Seriously. A bunch of people just like your next door neighbor, you know, the guy with the NRA sticker on his truck window, go down and sit in a fucking corner of a school room. That's it. That's the first step to choosing the leader of the sort of free world. Thanks, Iowa.

Thank the invisible man in the sky you Iowa Republicans aint picked a winner since oh I don't know, ever. Keep it up tonight. Go stand in the corner for Ron Paul. If he's awake, he'll appreciate it.