How Is This Even Close?

 Let's have a town hall led by noted dog killer and hair extensions enthusiast Kristi Noem and the GOP nominee for President, Donald J Trump. What could possibly go wrong? Well Noem found out real fast what kindergarten teachers all over the country know, corralling 4–5-year-olds is not easy. Trump, the ultimate kindergartner, went off script so many times that Noem had to keep calling him "Sir" to attempt to keep the toddler in line. Then came the problem. Trump looked out at the small crowd, became uninterested and then when two separate MAGAts fainted and needed medical attention, Trump went full Trump, told a man being wheeled out to "lose weight" and then because the attention was now off him said fuck it and called for music. 39 minutes of music while Trump swayed and danced, and Noem attempted to stay on topic eventually also saying fuck it and clapped and looked like her path in life may have been misguided. People onstage rolled their eyes, slow clapped and just wanted to get home to watch Dancing With The Stars or whatever MAGATs watch. Ave Maria, Ave Maria again, Ave Maria again, YMCA, Nothing Compares 2 U (I'm surprised Prince and Sinead didn't rise up from the grave to strangle him) and It's a Mans World, very appropriate for MAGA. 

39 minutes of this. Can you imagine if Biden had done the same? Can you imagine if Kamala Harris had done it? The man is gone. Gone not because his brain is pudding, it is, but gone because he pouts if he is not the center of attention or if the crowd of people he'd have thrown out of Trump Tower is too small and not reverent enough, he loses interest. How is this even close?

Trump held a town hall full of women only. Again, a small crowd, but a crowd of women that applauded him when he came onstage like they'd just seen Channing Tatum shirtless. Hardly a crowd of diverse women, just a lot of Trump groupies led by Harris Faulkner, Fox News' black best friend. Trump began talking to the women by ranting for 10 minutes about migrants, banning men in women's sports, more migrant talk, transphobia, more migrant fear mongering, called his opponents Marxists, Commies and Fascists, claimed he is "the father of IVF", fantasized about Katie Britt ("a fantastically attractive person"), bragged about Roe V Wade being overturned, and giving cops immunity "except for the bad apples". Ok ladies, there ya go. Your dream man. Puke.

Meanwhile here in Nebraska, home of the blue dot, the TV political ads are permeating the airwaves. There are two Republicans elected in blue territory who are in trouble. Don Bacon is the continuance of the dull, milquetoast Midwestern dolt that represents this district in the House just as others had before him. This district doesn't like bomb throwers but loves dullards who pose no threat to their comfortable lives. But Bacon is down in every poll to Democrat Tony Vargas, a state senator from Omaha. Vargas is the Democratic answer to Bacon. He's not a bomb thrower, he's a well-reasoned lawyer who is a voice of reason in the increasingly MAGA Nebraska legislature. But per the Bacon ads, Vargas, the son of Peruvian immigrants, throws shit at cops, pals around with AOC, voted for higher taxes, and in one particularly juvenile ad, "cops hate his guts". I know you are but what am I? Pretty soon they'll have a Trumpian nickname for Tony Vargas. Oh, they do, Criminal Loving Tony Vargas. Good lord. This is the stupidest of times.

Deb Fischer, a true dimwit Senator who moves the needle only to sleep mode, is in trouble. Her opponent is a mechanic, an independent. a kind of John Fetterman for Nebraska, Dan Osborn. He led a union, led a strike at Kelloggs, and rejected the Democratic party to run on his own. He comes across as a guy who actually worked for a living, has friends who also work for a living, and speaks plain English. Fischer, who thought for sure she had an automatic re-election in the bag because of that R next to her name, had to bring in millions of dollars in PAC money to begin the mudslinging. Osborn "loves Bernie Sanders", he wants to give amnesty to "illegals" then play a sound bite of him NOT saying that. Fischer, a so called "rancher" from Northern Nebraska, promised two terms and then she'd leave (who would notice?) but obviously has withdrawn that "promise" because she had no idea how the Senate worked. Jesus H Christ, this woman won two terms in the US Senate while apparently not knowing how it "worked". Deb Fischer is a welfare rancher who has lived off the government she hates her entire life. She was a state senator who funneled highway money to the rural areas where nobody lives at the expense of Omaha and Lincoln which are over half the population of this state. Fischer is a rubber stamp, and everybody knows it. She's not popular, she's dull, she hides from voters by going out back entrances after speeches, she refuses to debate Osborn and she hasn't had a town hall in over 6 years. This is the kind of leech set up to lose. I'm not saying she will lose, she probably won't, but the fact she is scrambling and spending money she usually gets to keep to herself makes me very happy. If you have a few bucks send it to Dan Osborn, he needs it and he will use it to win, not to enrich himself as some others do.

How is this even close?