Run for your lives cuz up there is a Chinese spy balloon and since no fake crisis goes untouched by the gang of screeching monkeys called the GOP it's the worst thing ever, until next week. The balloon, which has been determined to be either 60,000 feet in the air or 100,000 feet in the air floats over Montana and then Tennessee or wherever a cynical Republican politician resides. The politicians, all catering to a base of voters who don't read, don't research, and watch whatever network sends them into a frenzy the easiest, know damn well this spy balloon is basically harmless. Once somebody figured it you could see it up there all hell broke loose.
Montana representative Ryan Zinke (Crook-Mt) tweeted three words, Shoot. It. Down. A real tweet full of such peasantry as to ask Rip to walk out of the bunkhouse and fire a shot that takes it down to the Train Station. James Comer (Hillbilly-Ky) , a guy accused of beating women and forcing them to have abortions, called out the Chinese for sending the balloon full of "bioweapons" out of "Wuhan". Screeching neanderthal Marjorie Taylor Greene called for the balloon to be "shot down" and that President Agent Orange would have never tolerated this when in fact he tolerated it everyday of every year because look folks, they spy on us and we spy on them every single hour of every single day.
There are spy satellites up there that make space look like the 405 at rush hour. Some belong to us, some belong to China, some belong to Russia, some belong to the UK, some belong to North Korea some belong to Jesus. They are watching us all the time. But a fucking balloon somebody can see is somehow the 2023 equivalent of Pearl Harbor. No Billy Bob in Tennessee or a J D Vance in Ohio is going to shoot down anything that far up. Have these idiots ever heard of New Years Eve?
Look, the Defense Department is jamming the balloon, rendering it useless, as they do with spy satellites because that's what their fucking job is...Defense...
The balloon is a non issue. Only to money grabbing Republican politicians and criminals running for the 2024 nomination is this an issue......BECAUSE IT MAKES THEM MONEY ...Trump sent ME a text (oh I am STILL paying for going to that Trump rally) saying SHOOT IT DOWN and then begging for $40.
Calmer heads shall win out (I hope) and the Republicans will move back to throwing shit against the wall and seeing what the marks will become outraged enough to send them money about.
Meanwhile for now. Let the idiots go outside and look up in the sky and get the balloon in their sites. Pew Pew!
The ultimate reaction to the balloon was Rep Eric Swalwell, responding to the Donald Trump Junior coke fueled tweet about Fang Fang where Junior spelled balloon "baloon"...Swalwell gently pointed out to the twitching freak Junior that baloon is spelled with two L's...like 8ball.
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