Hello? Hello? Is There Anybody Back There?

Say what you will about Michael Phelps, but this guy, the Lightning Bolt, is the most impressive story of these Olympics. It all has to do with speed. Swimming isn't speedy. Some freak of nature blazing down a track is speedy. 1 minute of swimming or 10 seconds of sprinting? You choose. I'll take the guy running and you can have the guy swimming. Usain Bolt is the fastest human being who has ever set foot on this planet. Period. He is so utterly impressive to watch as he glides down the track leaving huffing and puffing fireplugs in his wake. Oh I know he shows off, and god knows how much we Midwesterners hate showoffs, but to deny this guy his due is just plain stupid. I wish he'd show off more. I wish he'd turn around and run backwards. I wish he somersault across the finish line. I wish he'd stop right before the line and casually step across it. I wish he'd run blindfolded. Show off, Lightning Bolt. You're the man. Are the Chicago Bears watching?