Cedar Rapids Kernels!!!

Driving from Davenport to Cedar Rapids, Iowa is short and sweet, perhaps the ONLY drive I didnt despise in Iowa. I get that trucks are the lifeblood of the American economy but migawd are there a lot of them out there and they drive all sorts of different speeds and absolutely annihilate your cruise control. 

I resisted the temptation to visit the World's Biggest Truck Stop and carried on to the bustling burgh of Cedar Rapids to see the High A Cedar Rapids Kernels later on. Years ago we were in Cedar Rapids and attempted to go to the ballgame but were sent away as it was sold out. Really?

Anyway, killing time in Cedar Rapids involved a movie and the longest one I could find was one I've already seen, The 3 hour 20 minute plus trailers Oppenheimer. But the IMAX experience is so overwhelming and LOUD and with Nolans shitty sound mixing a lot of dialogue I missed. So see it in a regular theater with loungers and less loud. 

Now the story of Cracker Barrel. Earlier today there was a Cracker Barrel right next to the hotel. So I went there early in the morning. I havent been to a Cracker Barrel well since maybe 15 years ago, before I realized they catered racist white people.The food was bland, the waiter was nice, the hot sauce was used to add something, like flavor, and I was out of there.

The bad thing about eating bland food is after seasoning the shit out of it and actually consuming it its revenge is coming. 90% of the way thru Oppenheimer Cracker Barrell had its revenge. I had to leave, now I can get gross here, but I will use metaphors. I made a loud noise, realized it wasnt all noise, and had to leave to go to the loo to do loo stuff. It was ugly. Did I go back into the theater to finish the movie? Not on your life. pal. In fact I lost tire tread getting out of the lot before anybody from Oppenheimer came out to tar and feather me.

The Super 8 in Cedar Rapids was ok. It had a lot of noise and some older guy in a wife beater wandering up and down the hall asking for money or something. 

Veterans Memorial Stadium is a typical minor league park. Nothing fancy, old concourse, miniature theme park out back of left field, large dimensions (330 down lines and 403 to center) and High A baseball played by kids. Concessions typical ballpark fare but this time the corn dog was great and the Summer Shady was cold and it wasnt expensive.

Now the game...I've watched a lot of baseball in my life, my favorite place to be on earth is at a ballgame , but I aint never seen this happen before. In the first inning on the 3rd pitch of the game, the umpire ejected the batter, I assume for arguing balls and strikes, or maybe that he was black, I've no idea. The manager of the Wisconsin Timber Rattlers (not an affiliate of the D Backs but of the Brewers) came out to half ass argue and it was over. One batter ejected in the top of the first and a new batter came up to fly out to center.

One thing I saw that made me happy. 6 of the 9 Wisconsin Timber Rattler starters were African Americans (I looked them up). Thats rare nowadays. Black folk don't play baseball because it's all select teams and well off white people traveling around dreaming they have the next Mike Trout living in their house. In my youth the Pirates once started and entire lineup of black players and that became commonplace in MLB. Nowadays black American born players represent somewhere around 8% of all MLB players. Thats a disgrace. I recently saw the College World Series and the black players were few and far between. Something should be done to help black youth play ball and fall in love with the game like I did. MLB should do it instead of making 50 different uniforms for each team as a cash grab.

It was after the game when a young guy with a leaf blower on one shoulder, a backpack on the other and pushing a mower ahead a few feet then doing it again, asked me for "ride to Kirkwood". All the while he never stopped pushing that mower and walking forward. I said "I have no idea where Kirkwood is" and he kept moving and said "no troubles man". It was a weird exchange.

Later on that night I found out some drunk in a truck back home smashed into my fence and opened a gaping hole out onto a busy street meaning the poor dog was screwed too. So I will return to home base and not go see the Kansas City Monarchs. Life blows sometimes.

Quad Cities River Bandits!

The drive from Chicago to the Quad Cities is a short one. From the untold number of McDonalds and Caseys and weed shops Illinois is not the soul sucking slog of driving across Iowa but kind of charming, especially the weed shops (I kid I kid) that reek of marijuana and old people looking for their youth and to kill the pain of creaking joints. Now this is all hearsay (wink) but the Ottawa weed shop was a kind of stand in line with the other olds and wait for a budtender to help you. When you are allowed into the locked back room it is like being at a 70s Pink Floyd show with the smells and the music playing in your head. Apparently from what I've been told, Illinois has a daily limit of 250 mg of THC that can be purchased by out of state scum. So I  I mean my friend had to jettison some of it for legal reasons. Hey Nebraska Sheriffs, this was not me, it was what I was told by the voices in my head. Cool. Illinois is cool and getting mucho tax money from me I mean out of staters looking for relief from living in Nebraska  I mean Illinois?

Anyway, once the drive is complete and the Mississippi is crossed into Iowa the thrill of being out of the Plains states is gone. Davenport, Iowa, one of the Quad Cities is where the Quad City River River Bandits play what is called High A baseball. The stadium is right on the Mississippi and features quite the view of The Chamberlain Bridge over the river and a theme park for the kids out in left field. The gigantic Ferris Wheel is quite the sight also. The highway over the bridge goes over the entrance to Modern Woodman Park so when you walk up the rumble of trucks can be heard as you wonder how long it will be until the infrastructure collapses and kills dozens of fans.

Modern Woodman Park is 92 years old but obviously renovated with comfy seats and modern concourses. The concessions are typical ball park cuisine and not all that good. My corn dog was still frozen and the replacement bratwurst was cold. The beer was cheaper than most places and it was $1 Keystone Light night. $1 beer? Im in! 

The baseball is good. Being the High A affiliate of the KC Royals, I'm used to lousy minor league ball (ask me about that 20-1 game I saw where the Iowa Cubs beat the Omaha Storm Chasers with 5 home runs in the top of the 1st) but this team was ok to watch. Playing their heated rivals, the Beloit Sky Carp, the River Bandits consisted of a whole lot of 18, 19, 20 and 21 year olds trying their best. It was a 2 hour 10 minute game (thank you pitch clock again) and I can't even remember who won, other than me with my $1 beers and cold brat.

The hotel was a comfortable Super 8 with a Cracker Barrel right next door. More on that tomorrow. It was a nice place and even with the homeless guy living on the side where I had to enter I had no problems.

Modern Woodman Park....go there sometime for the view and the giant Ferris Wheel and $1 beers. 

Chicago Dog Treat!

 Did I ever tell you about the time I drove to Chicago to see a baseball game and it wasnt to see the White Sox or the Cubs? Well, read on of you wish.

I havent been to Chicago since the pandemic hit and it is perhaps my favorite city in this country. The drive there is long and it involves the long slog across Iowa which is absolutely the worst and Ive been thru Eastern Colorado. Yeah I know Nebraska is no pleasure drive but its home and I know it like the back of my hand. Familiarity breeds acceptance.

Theres a team located in the Chicago suburb of Rosemont that has a name that cant be beat. The independent league Chicago Dogs. They are named after the greatest hot dog ever invented. There a damn Weiners Circle at the stadium for chrissakes. I couldnt wait.

The traffic in Chicago is crazy. Tailgaters, junkers, speeders, semis, crazy people its all there for the enjoyment of facing immediate death. It's a thrill ride indeed. 

Since I am alone on this trip (who in their right mind would want to travel 500 miles to watch a baseball game with 25 to 35 year old men not in great shape hanging on to a sport they love? Uhhh me) Im slumming it. Cheap motels, cheap eats, risking death. Ah hell its been a full life right?

The Motel 6 in Schiller Park is definitely cheap. But at less than $50 it comes with some risk. The other people staying there. Oh yes, there were some shady characters, but nothing of any consequence. Beer drinking at 4pm in the so called courtyard? Knock yourselves out comrades (they were speaking Russian or something).

The stadium is a short drive and its brand spanking new. $3 to park in a garage and there you are right next to it. Impact Park. Its a clean facility for sure. It should be its about 2 years old. 

Impact Park is a modern ballpark with a walk around concourse. The ticket price is reasonable and you can sit anywhere you wish on a Tuesday night so buy the cheap $9 ticket and then sit in the $18 seats. I didnt know this so I spent the $18 and sat where I was supposed to like a good sheep. All alone in a section on the aisle with a great view of the "action".

Remember what I said about the 25-35 year old men hanging on to a dream? Well yes they are, for Dog sakes the Dogs manager uses a walker to come to home plate (hey its ex Red Sox 2nd baseman Butch Hobson). The game was good. The ballpark is so small lots and lots of home runs were hit (its 294 to right and 312 to left in honor of the area code and the highway that passes over the bullpen). The game was just over 2 hours (thanks to the greatest rule change in baseball  history the pitch clock) the Dogs won 16-8 over the Cleburne Railroaders (yeah its in Texas or something).

The Chicago Dog was heavenly, but boy did it kick my ass (an extra Prilosec when I got home). The Leinenkugels Summer Shandy was also heavenly as was the weather. It was in the 70's and I'd forgotten how chilly Chicago can get . 

This may sound like hell to most but to this guy and his love of the sport it was fantastic. 

Back at the Motel Moscow, the Russians (or whatever) were still partying and one said something to me as I walked by (I think it was a friendly greeting) I said Hi and walked by hoping I hadnt insulted them by not stopping for a shot of moonshine. I lived.

Onward to Davenport Iowa.

Hamilton (Again) !

 The first time I saw Hamilton I was skeptical. Even though I'd tried and failed to obtain tickets back when it was just an off Broadway sensation in a Harlem theater, the hype, the devotion, the kids who knew every word just made me be my typical cynical self. 

Then I saw it. And goddammit I had to wait for it. Wait to see it a 2nd time which we did during the same run. Then it came back and we were there once again. It gets better every single time.

Hamilton came to Lincoln, Nebraska for a two week run and I had no intention of going. Until on a road trip and bored driving and listening to the same old classic rock on went the Hamilton soundtrack. By the time we got back, I had purchased tickets to see it a 4th time. Why? Well ya only live once and the aforementioned it gets better every time.

The cast was different except for the Washington character played by Marcus Choi who we have seen knock it out of the park again. 

You all know the greatness of the musical. I won't describe it yet again You either get it or you don't and if you don't get it that's fine. I'm not here to judge but sorry, you're missing out on great music, great lyrics, fun lyrics and the history lesson you probably need. 

Almost an entire cast of people of color works their ass off delivering a powerful lesson on American history updated to be relevant to today. It's not judging and it's not ignoring the times. Passing references to slavery and immigration (the immigrants get the job done line still gets applause) along with political philosophies still debated today, the play simply doesnt stop being great. 

Hamilton is no saint. Jefferson is no saint (but one helluva lot of fun) and Burr is a jealous milquetoast politician trying to be liked by everyone. All of it is covered. Hamilton's wife and sisters in law never fail to impress and of course, the three songs by King George are well received and a great humor break in a serious time. 

See it if you can. it, if you dont get it or like it, leave at intermission like the two people in front of us who actually googled "what is hamilton about" before it started. They were baffled by all of it. 

I was baffled by them.

Sinead O'Connor!

Was I big fan? Not really. The Prince song said more about Prince's songwriting than Sinead O'Connor. But she did have some great songs that never saw the light of the charts. But what Sinead O'Connor really had was courage.

Back in the 80s Sinead O'Connor was that bald weirdo Irish chick with that oh so Irish voice. Delores O'Riordan before there was a Cranberries. O'Connor hit the MTV train with that Price song and that haunting video of her walking around the grounds of a castle. Man she'd be really pretty if she just grew her hair out. But she wouldnt have been her had she "sold out" so to speak.

Then came Oct 3, 1992 when as the musical act on SNL she did a Bob Marley song, held up a picture of Pope John Paul II and exclaimed "fight the real enemy" and ripped the photo in two. For 1992 this was a revolutionary act. Lorne Michaels, the alleged hip guy who started SNL, went ballistic, NBC banned her for life and she became a pariah in a country that allegedly believes in God but shows no mercy to those who question their "beliefs". 

Then 13 days later at the Bob Dylan 30th anniversary concert, O'Connor was mercilessly booed by a crowd of Madison Square Garden mooks and gibrones who at the time found Andrew Dice Clay hilarious. How dare she rip up the picture of the Pope. 

Well she was right. The scandals and cover ups of years of sexual abuse by Catholic priests and nuns were common knowledge in places like Ireland. But America is a very provincial place. Nothing matters in the world unless it happens here. And man was it ever happening here too. It's just America didn't know it yet. 

Sinead O'Connor was mentally ill as most of us are. She suffered from depression and disappeared from the scene to raise her son. When her son committed suicide in 2022 it was just a matter of time for Sinead to do the same. Her only support was gone. She was truly alone. She sadly left the world and left it a little less talented than it was the day before.

Courage is rare in show business. When somebody calls out an institution. a country or whatever else phony patriots pretend to revere, there's a price to pay. She paid it many times over. 

While America debates an idiotic tone-deaf mediocrity like Jason Aldean, a real talent has left us. 

Nothing Compares 2 U, Sinead. Happy travels. 

Iowa!

 The old joke about Iowa standing for "Idiots Out Wandering Around" could perhaps be never more true than that caravan of dumb that descended on Des Moines yesterday at the request of Governor Kim Reynolds to outlaw abortion at 6 weeks because the previous ban was overturned by the courts. Reynolds, who grins like she's witnessing a fire destroy a homeless shelter, got the sads when the abortion ban was overturned and immediately called for a special session of the Iowa lege, a gang of dopes from rural Iowa gerrymandered into a super majority. Kim, a former drunk caught 3 times for DUI's who of course found Jesus, wanted this done in a jiffy. No debate, no testimony, no process, just pass it my children. We will make up the rules as we go along and if you're quick enough, you may get home in time for a super knee slappin Hee Haw rerun.

The protestors showed up, much as they did in Nebraska, and chanted in the vestibule, The abortion bill was debated logically and with facts by the few Iowa Democrats and any amendments, such as the one that would have exempted 12 year olds and younger from being forced to have babies, were quickly shot down by the fetus fetishists. 

The "heartbeat" crap was brought up again by the liars with medical degrees from Hayseed U and the 6 week ban (which actually means 2 weeks) was passed on without much opposition. Ya make the rules up as ya go along and thats what tends to happen. Then off to a tax exempt church to celebrate with Zima and loose meat sandwiches I assume.

So until the courts overturn this one (if so) Reynolds and her fellow roller coaster holy rollers can praise Jesus and make themselves a bigger pain in the ass than driving drunk or molesting Bible camp kids.

As for Iowa, the recent legalizing of child labor will open up jobs for the little freeloaders forced to be born to take at age 13. Get to work ya little urchins. 

Iowa is a wonderful place for kids. Remember when the Iowa Republicans attempted to ban SNAP recipients from buying meat, cheese and bread because we all know every cent spent on feeding poor people is total fraud cuz they all drive Caddys and drink mimosas on the way home from buying lobster and booze with the food stamps. 

So Iowa, its now illegal to have an abortion after a couple of weeks and per one Republican dimbulb just think about that before you have sex, probably with a sloppy GOP lawmaker and their staff and you aint got no problem. 

You get raped or Daddy decides you look really purty and you get pregnant better go to the cops pronto or its illegal then too. 

Iowa, formerly a purple state with reasonable middle of the road Republican Governors who served for decades at a time and represented in DC by reasonable Democrats and Republicans has suddenly gone whackadoodle with this influx of Christian nationalists and former drunks who cant handle the reasonable and must get the highs of Jesus and the lows of craving booze. Iowa is a mean place now. A place that has jumped on the Trump cruelty train and exists only to "own the libs". 

As the song goes, We got Trouble right here in River City, trouble that begins with T and rhymes with C and that stands for cuckoo for cocoa puffs.

Sound Of Freedom!

 First of all who isn't against child trafficking? 

I oppose child trafficking.

I oppose sexual abuse of all types

I oppose pedophilia 

I think this guy is nuts.

I went to this movie today to take the bullet and prove lefties can be objective about controversy. Attendance was spotty and most of the crowd was either 16 or 70 including me and some guy loudly snoring thru half of it. So that was fun.

Angel Studios, the outfit that put this movie out, does some quality work. The Chosen series is so well done whether you believe in Jesus or not. It's a compelling story about a rabble rouser who shakes up the times and whether they mean it or not, Jesus comes across as a liberal and a regular dude. So Sound of Freedom, the movie put out by them, is well done. It's basically Taken, Nobody, John Wick, Death Wish or any vigilante movie from the 70s or 80s without the swearing and the violence. Jim Caviezel as Tim Ballard is a Homeland Security agent who decides that nabbing pedophiles isnt good enough and decides to quit his job to go find missing children in Columbia being trafficked for sex. Thats about it. Danger, suspense, cute kids, great character actors like Bill Camp and a moral compass nobody can be against. The traffickers and pedophiles are standard issue sweaty, fat, snaggle toothed creeps right out of central casting and Caviezel almost has a halo at times. But its a solid movie.

To the righties. This aint a documentary. Tim Ballard is sketchy at best in real life. You are not obligated by some sort of holy decree to go to this movie. It made a lot of money yes, but its not going to change anything. There are no scenes of so called groomers is state houses all over the country. No Democrats eat any babies nor is Hollywood even mentioned. So tough luck righties, its just a standard thriller.

To the lefties. There's no propaganda here. Theres no preaching. Theres no QAnon bullshit. The simple acknowledgement that children do get trafficked is not some sort of agreement that Q is correct or that you are suddenly MAGA. Nothing of the kind. Its s standard thriller.

So what's with all the hubbub?  Ya got me. I went to it. I didnt hate it, I rooted for the good guys and was glad when the good guys won. Period.