Bobby Kennedy!

50 years ago today, I was on summer vacation, I was asleep when my younger brother came into our bedroom, quietly said my name, and when I probably grumpily grunted what, he told me that Senator Kennedy had been shot. I will never forget the thought that came into my head, please dont be HIM. please please please God. I got up and if I remember right went into the basement where the TV was and watched the coverage of what another madman had done a mere two months after Martin Luther King had been gunned down. But Bobby Kennedy was still alive. I never prayed more in my life to a God who I actually sort of believed in to spare Bobby's life. I prayed all day as Kennedy hung on to life.

That evening I had baseball practice and while I sat in a car with two other teammates waiting for a field to clear, the kid I was sitting next to in the back seat cracked a bad joke about the shooting and the kid in the front seat, lets call him John, turned and sternly said at 9 years old to us "Its not funny!". He was right. It wasnt funny.

I remember my Dad and my coach saying aloud, "I dont think he's going to make it". That crushed me. Dad, please, dont say that. I continued to pray while I stood out at first base taking grounders. Please God, no. Dont take him.

Senator Robert F Kennedy died the next morning. My prayers were not answered. I lost my faith that day. I went into the back yard alone and cried. I threw the baseball against the house as I did everyday but I threw it extra hard that day.

Later on I watched the train carry his body to DC. The crowd lining the tracks was incredible. The nation was mourning. My Mom wept at Senator Ted Kennedy's eulogy. I didnt watch.

The night Senator Kennedy was shot was the day I lost a lot. My faith, my hope, my kid like view of the world. From that day on I became a cynic. Bobby Kennedy was going to make everything ok. He was going to end the war, he was going to heal racism, he was going to make everyone be nice to each other. Thats what I thought.

Sirhan Sirhan should never be allowed out of prison. The man changed the course of history for the worse and he took my hope away forever. We got Nixon, and Reagan and W and now Trump. Fuck off Sirhan. Rot in jail you devil bastard. The tape of the chaos in the kitchen is still something I cannot stand to hear. Senator Kennedy has been shot Oh my god get the gun get the gun break his thumb if you have to oh my god
. It is chilling to this day.

Years ago while visiting LA, we saw the Ambassador Hotel on the way back from the Tar Pits. It creeped me out much like the Texas School Book Depository does and the way the Lorraine Motel did this year. They tore the Ambassador Hotel down in 2005 or like in 2013 when we drove to Dallas and again in 2018 when we drove to Memphis, I would have been there in the 50th year since a great American was gunned down.

Perhaps I should try for better memories. 50 years ago this year, that baseball team I played for went undefeated and won the title. Nope didnt work. My memory is of the Kennedys and King.

Damn.