Neil Young!

In all my(indecipherable)years of concert going I have never seen Neil Young live. I've seen Crosby and Stills and Nash but Young never showed up. Well finally, the 69 year old Neil showed up 'round these parts last night and Max and I went.

Jesus H Christ, forget Max. He's a casual fan. A greatest hits young 'un. He thinks Neil is Eddie Vedder's father. Sorry kid, Neil Young is moving onward and the greatest hits tour aint happening cuz Neil is pissed off, constantly.

Young's new album is a rant against Monsanto, Citizen's United, Monsanto, Starbucks, Monsanto, dumb Americans, Monsanto, and more Monsanto. Ya see, Neil is not a happy man that corporate giants strangle working farmers and the political system. And dammit, he's gonna sing about it. For 3 hours and 20 minutes he's gonna sing about it, jam about it, and jam some more about it.

Opening act Band of Horses, of whom I am a fan, played a strong 40 minute set of indie music. A talented group of South Carolinians with a lead singer who can sound a bit like a young Neil Young at times, the political message got off to a start when they proclaimed for the first time in their lifetime, they were proud of being from South Carolina cuz ya know that treasonous loser flag got taken down the day before. And Ben Bridwell, lead singer, can't sleep cuz he has a Ghost in His House. Love that song.

Then it was time for Neil. A couple of young girls in overalls and hats, chewing on straw, came out to spread seed, water flowers, and then do it some more and more and more much to the consternation of drunken fans anxious to start rockin.

And then........After the Gold Rush........Heart of Gold.......Long May You Run.....Old Man....and Mother Earth with Neil playing an old organ. Nobody else...just him.....guitar and harmonica........like Dylan.

Then comes Promise of The Real. His band for the I Hate Monsanto tour. The Nelson boys, Lukas and Micah, not Rickey Nelson's boys, Willie Nelson's boys. A kickass bassist, Corey McCormick, a kickass drummer, Anthony Lo Gerfo and another percussionist, Tato Melgar and you have Crazy Horse Junior.

An hour of folk rock, country rock if you prefer, with only one "hit", Harvest Moon. This is gettin good......Max is yawning....

And then......hoo boy....Neil Young picks up the electric guitar and we are off to the races, my friends....

I don't even care what he played, he is a true jazz man, a jammer, you could tell the Nelson boys (geez Micah, are you old enough to be up that late?) had to improvise on numerous occasions cuz they had no idea where this was going.

Neil played his entire new album, preaching the word on Monsanto musically, while saying almost nothing between songs. Except when he said "We dont want to offend anybody, but we wont be happy till they're not happy". Amen brutha!

He covered Crazy Horse at times. The Down By The River jam took at least 20 minutes. I was in heaven cuz again, he can play whatever he wants and as long as he wants cuz he's goddamn Neil Young and he is not predictable. And that is what makes him relevant. He keeps going.

Now a lot of fans may not like that he keeps moving ahead, and there were plenty including Max, but Neil doesn't give a rat's ass what anybody thinks and if you want to come see him, come, and if you don't, don't. Period.

There were only 6,000 or so at this show, which is fine. He is a legend, but a niche' legend. Not everybody loves this guy like I do. But for chrissakes, in the middle of an acoustic set, while listening to a monster song like Heart of Gold, why in the fuck do the "Woo Girls" all start doing their thing? It wrecks beautiful moments.

Damn, I'm old.

Max may not have been enthralled by the No Greatest Hits Tour but I can still hear the jamming that went on during a new song called "Big Box". If you don't think that Big Box is good enough and as thrilling to hear as Cowgirl in the Sand well then, you need to stick with the state fair circuit. Hey, I hear Foreigner and Night Ranger and Def Leppard are coming. That oughta be just up your fuckin alley.

Rock on Godfather of Grunge!!

Philly!

I never wanted to go to Philadelphia. Probably affected by my parents telling me what a dump it was and how everybody there was a negative prick. But that was the Frank Rizzo years I guess when the city was run by a pseudo mobster and the place was filthy. But a cheap airfare, geeking out over being on the east coast in April and one last chance to take Max someplace before he leaves us forever (yeah right), Max and I flew to Philly for a crazy weekend of Phillies baseball (or Giants baseball in my case) and unknown adventures.

1) I want whatever pilot for Southwest Airlines flew the Chicago to Philly route at 8:30 am on June 5th, 2015 as my personal pilot. Every single time I've flown east, somewhere over Pennsylvania I feel like death is upon me. Thousand foot drops, bounced around like a popcorn machine, holding onto the seat in front of me thinking that will stop the roller coaster ride. This guy, this pilot, flew a perfect route. No bouncing around, no nuthin. When I said "thanks pilot" I really really meant it.

2) The cab ride from Philly Airport to downtown is $28, flat. That's fine. I didn't have to anxiously watch the fare meter climb and climb. In fact this cabbies meter didn't work anyway, until he took it apart while driving and put it back together again.

3) Philly has subways, Yay! But good luck finding a machine to buy a ticket at. At least one that works. The gate folks don't give change, so I overpaid to ride it virtually every time. But it was fine. A fine subway system.

4) The Reading Terminal Market is insane. You walk in and voila' insanity! Every type of food you could possibly want is here. And it is crowded as shit and you have to be a really aggressive dick to get anything, unless of course you're buying fresh produce from the Amish over in the corner. Funny I didn't see any horse and buggies parked outside. Max was overwhelmed. He made me flee. To a Muslim run chicken joint a block away. Hmmmm, Islamic chicken.

5) We stayed on the edge of Chinatown. Max didn't want to walk through Chinatown cuz the funny writing scared him or something. Walking to downtown from 12th and Race and passing thru the Convention Center, devoid of any conventions we saw anyway, but not devoid of cups of piss sitting on street corners. Hey what am I, a Cubs fan?

6) Walking from 12th and Market south. Towards the historical sights. Boom, you're there. This is a walking city. An interesting city.

7) Hey it's Old City. Hey it's the historical district. Its the waste of time that is Penn's Landing. And hey, what's with all the rainbow flags and women soccer players? It's the Gayborhood! Yeah , ya give those people rights and the next thing ya know, they form their own neighborhoods make the place all fabulous. I wanted to go into some place called "Woodys" but was shot down by a stick in the mud kid afraid we'd look like some old hippie chickenhawk (is that even a term anymore?) and his chicken or whatever.

8) The historical sights are well worth it. Mostly free. But timed. So get your free ticket asap. Lots of people don't and don't get in. Loved the Independence Hall. Such a great tour guide who actually mentioned my pet peeve. Why is 1776 considered the big year when the war didn't end until 1783 and the constitution wasn't ratified till 1789 either? Oh well, keep blowing off your hands on July 4th , what do I care? Dammit I do!

9)The Rocky Statue. The Love sign. The Art Museum steps. Be prepared for guys and gals all over looking to make a buck taking your picture. Geez, you can't get to the Rocky statue without being assaulted by Annie Leibowitz wannabes. I did have an interesting conversation with a guy who couldn't stop talking about the 1965 San Francisco Giants. Jim Ray Hart? Stretch McCovey? Sey Hey Willie Mays? Wow man, I thought I was the only one who remembered those guys. Damn, I'm old.

10) The Eagles Stadium. For $12 you can take a tour of Lincoln Financial Field and see the bowels of the stadium , the press area, the field itself though torn up thanks to a Taylor Swift debacle, the sky boxes , again the worst seats in the house, and the locker room which is huge. And some of the players jerseys and equipment hanging up. And yes, Tim Tebow had a locker.

I have toured stadiums before and I loved everyone. In Lincoln,Nebraska they are really proud of their sellout streak and crappy skyboxes where you cant see anything. In Green Bay, Wisconsin they are really proud of anything they have that's "better than Chicago" which according to Packer tour guides is everything (but do not touch the precious frozen tundra which isnt frozen cuz they have heaters and they're better than Chicago) and in Arlington, Texas they really really like Josh Hamilton and won't let you in the locker room cuz some neck stole Josh's jersey. Josh Josh Josh. That's where Josh sits, that's where Josh plays, thats where Josh hit a home run. Well then, no wonder he ran off to Los Angeles for a while.

In Philly, they are really really proud their fans are complete assholes. Hey that's where the opposing teams buses come in cuz they cant park outside cuz Philly fans will destroy it. Here's where the opposing team's locker room is right by the field so they can hear the charming insults from our great asshole fans. We are the worst and dammit we are so godamm proud. Too bad they didn't bring the courtroom over from the old Vet. We were sure proud of the fact our asshole fans could be fined right then and there for being assholes.

11) The Phillies. They suck. The fans know they suck and boo regularly. But they show up. And get outshouted by the traveling horde of Giants fans I see everywhere I go. Lets go Giiiiii-ants!

12) Madison Bumgarner is an pitching artist much like Greg Maddux was. I loved watching Maddux pitch. It was like watching DaVinci. The Phillies knocked MadBum around a little ( a grand slam by Jeff Francouer?) but at one point he had thrown 59 strikes and only 7 balls. That is amazing. So deliberate and matter of fact. And quick, no fucking around on the mound.

13) The beer vendors at Phillies games are the best. Oh my god. I though this first guy was challenged on a sanity basis. Millahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhrghhhhhhh.....and wooter. Classic. And kind of scary at first.

I had a soft spot for this dude however, Maybe cuz he looked like a beer swilling Santa Claus. And he auditioned for a Streetcar Named Desire every minute. Give him the role already!

Philadelphia. The City of Brotherly Love. And lots and lots of beggars, some of whom were great at fist bumps. And one who we thought dead though once he was told the ambulance was coming couldn't get out of there fast enough to avoid a hospital bill or a trip to jail.

A pleasant surprise was Philly. Lets go Giiiii-ants!

DC & NYC!

Yikes...finally...off the desert island of Writersblock-istan. It's not that I don't give a shit anymore but for awhile there, I just didn't give a shit. The constant bombardment of stewwwpid we get around here, and by here I mean Planet Earth, was just too overwhelming. So basically it was fuck everybody, humans can go extinct for all I care and while I'm at it fuck A Rod too. But then I looked at an 18 year old kid going off to college and thought, keep fighting,dumbass.

So, what have we been up to for 4 months? Lemme tell ya.

1) Went to Washington DC and New York for a week.

a) DC just pissed me off. I hate that den of corruption. It may be a good thing for middle schoolers to permeate the city like a plague of giggling termites because by the time you get to my age, you just want to tear the place to the ground and start over.

b) The only truly moving moment I had there was at the Holocaust Museum when you turn the corner and see the piles of shoes. I gasped. I teared up. It smelled like 75 year old shoes. It smelled of death. Giggle at that, middle schoolers.

c) I always thought when I saw the Vietnam Wall it would make me cry, or feel moved. Nope, it pissed me off. What a fucking waste of humanity. I know you apologized but fuck you, Robert McNamara.

d) Arlington Cemetery. What can you say? So large. So white. So filled with kids. JFK is there. So is Bobby. So is Teddy. That's one place none of that whore like Ricketts family will ever be.

e) Pandas at the National Zoo. Free to look at the pandas. Then you can leave.

f) Inedible lunch at the Smithsonian costs somewhere around the national debt level. Wow. It may be free to get in, but shit, if you wish to survive, you're scrwed.

g) Amtrak. Oh god, the Amtrak is unsafe, its a boondoggle, its just a waste of tax money, why don't you people ride the shuttle or get a limo like all of us Congressional assholes do? Peasants. Hey, all I can say is Amtrak got us to New York on time and I lived. So good for Amtrak.

h) I love New York almost as much as I love Chicago. And I love Chicago so much just a TV or movie shot of the Sears Tower makes me go HEY HEY!!! like Jack Brickhouse. Sears Tower, National Airport. Sorry, I don't call anything by its new name, especially if its bought or named after a man who ruined America.

i) Broadway is the most phenomenal thing EVER. To see Les Miz on Broadway, and see It's Only A Play on Broadway. Goddam! What can be better? I'd go broke there. And Nathan Lane just may be the funniest man alive.

j) David Letterman is a genius. I was so sad to see him go. Nobody is like him, nobody will ever be like him. And we saw one of his last shows live on a Thursday night. The 4-5 hour wait and the shit seats in the last row of the balcony not withstanding, to see him in person was thrilling to me.

k) The subway may be the greatest invention ever. Who needs a car there? That's why the streets are plugged full of nothing but yellow taxis and an occasional rube from Ohio who wandered in thinking he could park free at the local Motel 6.

l) Purely personal. My Dad went to Fordham University after he was through kicking Hitler's ass. He used to tell me how he would go to Yankee Stadium and see Ted Williams and to the Polo Grounds to see the Giants. When on a rainy bus tour, we saw Yankee Stadium and I asked the tour guide where the Polo Grounds were he said I'll mention it. Christ, Yankee Stadium is right across the Harlem River from where the Polo Grounds stood. I get it now, Dad. I could see him at both spots.

m) Times Square is as corporate as you can possibly get. Sbarros? Olive Garden? Red Lobster? McDonalds? M&M's store? Holy crap. I know they are the only ones that can afford the rent to be there, but jesus it was depressing.

n) Moving moment #2. After the shoes at the Holocaust Museum what could possibly be even more moving? Hey, it's the 9/11 museum or whatever it is at Ground Zero. Last time we were at Ground Zero it was still a gigantic hole in the ground. Now its a huge Tower and a museum. Go to the museum , walk through, and then you turn a corner and hear it. The hundreds of distress signals. The beeping of distress signals. Ugh! It is THE thing from 9/11 I can never forget. The day after day of that sound coming from the rubble as rescuers searched for anything that may have survived. I couldnt get out of there fast enough.

Thats part of April in the last 4 months of Max's Dad. More to come.

Feel The Bern!

It's been a long time since I've been to a political rally. I think the last one was when I had to see this Tea Party bullshit back in 2010 and knew then what an early bird special at Golden Corral must be like.

Yep, Bernie Sanders came to Council Bluffs, Iowa on Friday night to rally the troops in his quest to unseat Corporate Lackey and presumed Democratic nominee Hillary C. Hey this place was nuts. There were well over 2500 folks there screaming and stomping and standing and looking for torches to go get the Frankenstein monster which is modern politicians like the Hillary.

This crowd was young. Like I used to be. Incredibly idealistic and some would say naive but nonetheless these young people want change. Yeah, I realize that 2500 people in Iowa on a Friday night is nothing compared to the thousands more young people getting hammered and saying who is Bernie Sanders but goddamit , it was refreshing to see that they exist. And judging from the parking lot, most of the 2500 live in Nebraska. Where are these kids when lisping turds like Ben Sasse get elected in Nebraska? Ok, stop getting depressed, Max's Dad. This rally was epic stuff.

Sanders has no chance. I know that. But to make Hillary Clinton turn away from her corporate masters for a few minutes to pay attention to the rest of us is worth it. Hey, over here!!!

The news media in Omaha, a small burgh across the river from Council Bluffs. Fuck them! While 2500 plus are going batshit cray cray in Iowa stomping their feet to the thundering roar of left wing populism, aka common sense, the news media in Omaha is covering a tea party rally in a park in West Omaha attended by dozens of old white people sitting in lawn chairs lithening to Thenator Ben Thathe and our illustrious dollar store Lex Luthor Governor , Pete the Trust Fund Boy. Dozens of old white people! DOZENS!!! That's what the local yokels cover?

Of course it is.

Me And Earl And The Dying Girl!

I don't go to a lot of movies anymore, mostly because I don't have the time, the money nor the interest in comic book movies but every once in a while I indulge.

Me And Earl And The Dying Girl is the type of movie that makes me happy. Happy because it lets me know there are real film makers out there with a reverence for storytelling about real people. Man, is this one a gem.

Me And Earl And the Dying Girl pretty much sums it up in the title. Awkward teen boy named Greg, is about to struggle through senior year of high school along with buddy from other side of tracks, Earl. They are both film geeks who make parody films and watch classic movies at home and hang out in the weird history teachers office eating lunch.

Forced by his mom to "hang out" with a girl named Rachel who was recently diagnosed with leukemia, Greg finds out who he is. A sweet kid with a conscience and a lot of self doubt.

Being a love story it is not, unless you think it may be a love story to movies (which it is). None of this is predictable. It features homages to indie films by showing chapter headings like "This is the part where I get into my first fight ever".

Me and Earl is a movie that will make you cry. Oh there's no doubt about that, just read the title again, but there are a lot of laughs and a lot of sweetness getting to the balling your eyes out part.

It's smart (the "hot Pussy Riot girl" reference) and sweet and damn good.

Please support this type of movie. If you do, they'll make more.

And hey, Nick Offerman and Connie Britton are Greg's parents. Yep, Ron Swanson and Tammy Taylor. They are worth the price of admission alone.

Father's Day!

18 1/2 years ago I became a father. It is a cliche' to say it was the best day of my life, a throwaway line yelped by athletes and politicians lying as usual, however, I mean it.

Max has been a godsend, and I don't even believe in God, well at least your God. His very existence has made my life meaningful when before he came along, it was a life of emptiness and depression. A life of excess and nonsensical self destruction.

So today on Father's Day, I say, Happy Father's Day to all. You fathers all know what I mean.

Go Big What???

Get into your barns, hide in your haystacks, go barricade your church, Judge Joe Bataillon (Activist Judge Galore-Ne) has again told the citizens of Nebraska nahhhhhh you can't vote civil rights up or down, nahhhhhhhh you can't penalize kids who have two mommies or two daddies, nahhhhhh you can't be a bunch of dicks who love to watch guys jump on each other and stick their hands into another guy's crotch 12 or 13 times a year. Nope, your 70% ban on gay marriage is over. Again. He has already done this once in 2006 and some fucktard from the 8th US Dumbfuck Appeals Court said ewwwwwwwwwwww, two men kissing. Keep the ban.

But before y'all start bookin the gay flights to this Midwestern paradise to get hitched, just remember, we are a very polite sort of folks. Rocking the boat is ok , not popular, but ok. But tippin the damn thing over is just not civil. Even if it involves getting people the same rights everybody else has that's something that the people west of the Lincoln Airport need some getting used to. So Judge Joe did what any nice polite Nebraskan would do. He said no gay marriage now, you have to wait a week or so, till March 9th to be exact, and THEN you can flood the courthouses and send all the christian lady court clerks into A Fib.

This of course gave that dipstick attorney general and our trust fund baby Governor time to sniffle and cry to that same fucktard Court of Appeals that waaaaaaa that "activist judge" made a boo boo on the the Nebraska Constitution (everytime I hear that term I can't help but LOL, for chrissakes, you still can't legally teach German in this state)and we can't handle the tsunami of gays that will flood our little paradise and make out in public and all that icky shit they do. Unless they can run a 4.4 40 ,well then, keep it under your hat. Go Big Red!!!

Bataillon is right of course. Banning civil rights aint kosher. But he also knew that none of the gays could get married cuz he gave the powers that be plenty of time to throw a tantrum and get a stay of execution on our precious Nebraska Constitution (LOL.....for goodness sakes if you have the clap, you can't legally marry here). They did of course stopping me from the joy (once again denied) of seeing Bishops and pastors and superstitious nitwits go into apoplexy over two chicks or even ickier, two guys, apply for a marriage license and bring Gawwwwwwwwds wrath down on Nebraska and make the football team go 8-4 or something.

But it's coming. Like a giant porn compilation of facials, you bigoted clowns are about to be screaming "Enough"! The blacks, the Indians, the Mexicans and now the gays gettin rights we all have? What is this country coming to?

Fairness, that's what. So fuck off, bigots.

And to our trust fund baby Governor, who has a gay sister. You, my bald headed lisping friend, can truly fuck off.