Teabagging In Ohio!

The teabaggers are getting cocky. Some group of elderly misfits in Ohio called "the Freedom Institute of Erie County" sent out a questionnaire to political candidates asking their views in a highly non-partisan way. I don't know about you, but ANY group with the word "freedom" in their name is hiding something. Like their opposition to freedom for instance. Anyway, let's take a look at their non-partisan inquiries in the quest for "freedom" (and how I'd answer).

1. The Right to Life is a Constitutional right, therefore innocent human beings should have legal protection from conception until natural death. If you hold any exceptions please state them.

The only exception I can think of is Medicare sucking teabaggers. Bring on the death panels. Does natural death include starving children?

2. The regulation of Carbon Dioxide in our atmosphere should be left to God and not government and I oppose all measures of Cap and Trade as well as the teaching of global warming theory in our schools.

The only thing I want to cap is your mouths and trade you to God for a rational human being to be named later.

3. Marriage is defined as being between a man and a woman, any other type of Union is not marriage.

Well that's not true because two men can get "married" in Iowa and Massachusetts and New Jersey and Connecticut and soon to be in Ohio. It's inevitable, like you misspelling your signs.

4. Children should not be placed into foster homes where the parents are homosexual, bisexual, or transgender.

How about alcoholics and drug addicts and domestic abusers and child abusers, you know, those "normal" people?

5. Parental consent should be required for sex education that teaches more than direct abstinence.

Tell your 35 year old grandmother that.

6. The second Amendment to the Constitution [the right to keep and bear arms] should not be weakened in any way.

yeah, fuck that well regulated militia crap.

7. Only US citizens should be allowed to vote and a photo ID should always be required to vote. (The Mexican government requires a photo ID and fingerprint).

Can I buy you a one way ticket to Mexico?

8. I oppose Ohio’s State Income Tax.

I thought they were the Ohio's State Buckeyes? Sorry, I was driving down the public street and a fire engine siren distracted me.

9. I oppose the Obama Health Care Reform and would like to see more affordable healthcare through a competitive, open, and transparent system.

I love my insurance company as much as the next guy and I love my right to be screwed around by them. The only thing transparent here is your organization's collective IQ.

10. I oppose the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy of the military and believe that all same sex partners should be banned from combat duty in the military because of the propensity to transmit blood-borne diseases in the theatre of battle.

The theater of battle sounds so gay. Are you sure you guys aren't friends on Facebook with Larry Craig and David Drier?

11. I support a law that will allow the people to place on a ballot all collective bargaining agreements of all government associations, unions, and guilds, for their expressed approval. Defeat of such an agreement would mean government workers would not be immune from the free market system.

Damned government workers ought to work for food ,like that guy on the corner with the sign that's spelled correctly.

12. I oppose card check for voting to implement a Union as this could give unions an unfair intimidation tactic to implement unionisation.

Last time I checked, most questions end with a ?. Speaking of card checks, I'll see you blue hairs at the casino tonight, blowing your welfare, errrr, social security checks.

13. I am not an economic pacifist. I believe that we need to protect our economic borders in order to ensure free and fair trade. Tariffs should be used to stop the wealth and jobs of Americans from leaving her borders.

Yeah, buy American, unless it's made by one of those commie bastards in a union.


14. The Federal Reserve as it is currently conceived needs to be abolished or at the very least audited.

Sounds like my very wish for the teabagger movement.

15. I advocated moving our currency to a debt-free supply-side labour-based currency.

Who the hell wrote that one for you? Adam Smith? You dumbasses have no idea what that even means. But I'm sure the cannon fodder in Afghanistan would be happy to come home once that one was passed.

Well there ya go. The "Freedom Institute of Erie County" questionnaire. Oh, and one question. What European homo wrote those questions for you? "unionisation", "labour" and "theatre"? Seriously, Ohio teabaggers, I expected better from you. Like asking your real question. "Do you support that n***** in the White House?"

Teabagging In Delaware!

Congrats to the teabaggers for nominating Christine O'Donnell for the United States Senate seat from Delaware. This is just too damn funny to pass up.

Google her to read what whackjob she is, because by god, she won't google herself.

A Warning To Democrats!

OK. I am officially concerned about these midterm elections coming up. Yeah even though this Glenn Beck rally only drew 87,000 dimbulbs in one size too small t shirts and no one with any brains actually listened to Elmer Gantry, all 87,000 of those dopes are going to vote. Last time I checked, delusional, "oppressed" white people are allowed to vote. This concerns me.

Are we going to vote? Are we going to stop these people from sending genuine lunatics like Sharon Angle or Carly Fiorina or Rand Paul or Ken Buck or Joe Miller to the United States Senate? Now I'm no fan of the Senate as a whole. I often feel it should be abolished, I mean come on, Nebraska has two Senators and so does California? Wyoming has two Senators as does New York? Red states are way to overrepresented in that body but nonetheless, it's not going away. We have to vote, people. If we stay home, they win. Can you imagine? It would be anarchy. These nuts don't believe in government in any way, shape or form. They trust capitalism. Unregulated capitalism. They trust Goldman Sachs or BP or Citibank or Union Carbide to actually behave in responsible ways without government regulation. Oops, sorry, I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Sharon Angle is not only dense, she's plain dangerous. Rape victims need to turn to God and have their rape babies, I assume due to government "regulation" forbidding abortions ? She is the typical moonbat we've been seeing since the 60's. Out of the UN. Privatize Social Security. Abolish the Department of Education. Second Amendment "remedies" to losing elections. Harry Reid may be worthless, but he's not Sharon Angle worthless.

Rand Paul is maybe even nuttier than Sharon Angle. Obeying the Civil Rights Act should be voluntary? Coal Miners don't need safety regulation? Fining BP is "un-American"? Extending unemployment benefits encourages "drug use"? Aqua Buddha? Paul makes his Dad sound like a complete milquetoast akin to Ben Nelson. Ugh!

Carly Fiorina is "so yesterday". This woman was named one of the 20 Worst American CEO's of all time" by Conde Nast. This puts her in great company with such luminaries as Ken Lay and Roger Smith. She ran Hewlett Packard into the ground so bad they paid her $20 million to get the fuck out. 18,000 people lost their jobs to this Lizzy Borden like CEO and in the days after she was paid to leave, HP stock soared. Yeah, California, send this self promoting leech to the Senate.

Ken Buck, Senate candidate from Colorado, did call birthers "dumbasses" which means he's only 98% nuts. He does wish to repeal the 17th Amendment which provides for direct election of U.S. Senators. He wants you to vote for him because he "doesn't wear high heels"? While District Attorney of Weld County, Colorado he seized tax records of 5,000 folks as part of a witch hunt on alleged illegals. The Colorado Supreme Court said whoa there, Bucko. He was forced to take ethics classes while working for the Justice Department. Why? I guess because he's an unethical son of a bitch.

Joe Miller beat out Lisa Murkowski in the Alaska Senate Republican primary. What? Alaska is really a state? That's a whole other post to be done. Why they admitted a place full of drifters, deadbeats and derelicts as a state is beyond me. Another reason to abolish the Unite States Senate I guess. Joe Miller says his campaign will be funded by "God". Joe Miller wants to do away with Social Security by spreading the lie that the system is pending bankruptcy. Joe Miller has 8 kids. That means he gets 10 dividend checks from the Alaska Permanent Fund, a government "shakedown" of the oil industry pushed by Caribou Barbie. He may have gotten $32,000 in "entitlements" from the "government". Joe Miller is going to win, and he's a complete sociopath. Way to go, Alaska. Please go away.

This is what we face if we don't vote. I have no chance to get rid of these nuts because I don't live in any of those states. But these people scare me. These teabaggers are serious. They want their country back. You know, that country where they run stuff and minorities stay in their place and women stay home (unless running for office) and the kids all act like Beaver Cleaver. You know, fantasyland. But remember, fantasy trumps reality in most people's minds. Let's get out there for reality's sake!

Twitter Rhymes with What?

I don't like Twitter. I don't care for people who Twitter and I despise people who subscribe to Twitters. I don't give a damn that you're drunk at the Dew Drop Inn and some hot harpy is eyeing you (probably with her finger on the cell phone's 911).

But I hate, absolutely hate with the heat of a Glen Beck lie, politicians who twitter. The people who subscribe to a politician's twits, or is it tweets, or in Caribou Barbie's case, twats, need to be deported to that special whites only country they long for. Alaska.

Take note of the human bloodhound's latest twit. Fred Thompson is a slow talkin' country boy with a much younger wife waiting for him to drop dead. He ran for President, picking up the endorsement of such heavyweights as Representative Lee Terry of Nebraska. Terry's much sought after endorsement proved too much for Beauregard Thompson's chances and he dropped out. Thompson's twit is so utterly absurd, I'm sure Twitter is embarrassed enough to shut down. Or it should be. "If Obama had had his way, Saddam would be making that speech in Baghdad"? Had Had? Who the hell wrote that for Rufus, Bristol Palin? Saddam announcing the end of American combat ops? This is so stupid, made just for Thompson's tens of subscribers I'm sure, Twitter really needs to cease ops now, too. Why would Saddam be announcing anything if Obama had his way? Listen, Fred, if Obama "had had" his way, 4400 American kids would still be alive and thousands more would still have their limbs and minds and the United States would still have a couple of trillion dollars. Instead the entire country will fall back into civil war, Iran will run things, and you will wish an evil prick like Saddam was still around to buffer that area between Iran and Afghanistan.

But hey, this is America 2010, my friends. Dumber and dumber by the day. Taught by morons limited to 70 letters and limited brainpower. Twitter makes Facebook seem like Shakespeare. A plague on both your houses.

Levi, You Dodged The Bullet!

All I can say is my ears hurt. Levi, you are so lucky you don't have to climb on board that family's crazy train any longer.

Kudos to that lady from Homer, Duhlaska for having the guts to confront that condescending, sarcastic fraud and her chip off the old block daughter.

I am still shivering from the screech. And note at about 1:13 when the woman tells The Quitta that she's a "teacher", the "oh you're a commie" head nod.

Satan Is Laughing with Delight Again!

I really don't like any religions. The most destructive force this world has ever known is religion, or more specifically, it's most dedicated followers. So just to make clear where I'm coming from here, I practice no religion, I am not denying you your right to believe whatever you want, I cheer you if religious beliefs bring you peace and help you cope with life, I think that atheists are just as big of a pain in the ass as your born agains, and finally, I really wish all religion would be practiced in private, like that long haired hippie socialist with the Hispanic name used to preach a long time ago. There, it's said.

Should you be able to build a mosque three blocks from Ground Zero? Well first of all, with the turtle speed ANYTHING is being done at Ground Zero, building a mosque three blocks away perhaps could give the pandering politicians ideas on how to get off their ass and DO SOMETHING about that hideous hole in the ground. So my answer is why not? Have you seen Ground Zero? Have you been to lower Manahattan? This isn't Crabapple Cove. It's lower Manhattan. There are gillions of buildings all over the place. NOBODY would even know what the hell is three blocks away from that giant hole in the ground. Three New York City blocks, not three Mufreesboro, Tennessee or Temecula, California blocks.

The reason I mention those two cities is because both have seen protests over the building of mosques in their respective towns. The above picture is from Tennessee. Gee, guess which side wants to stop the mosque? Generally I decide to join protests one way. Which side has more American flags? I go to the other side. Something about that last refuge of a scoundrel quote.

Now I realize a lot of Americans are scared to death of Muslims, Islams, or people wearing funny hats, like Shriners. A lot of Americans think a mosque is a place full of bearded whack jobs mixing chemicals and plotting to blow up the local VFW hall on the the weekly Pork Chop night. You know something, they are only 98% wrong. There are mosques that preach hate, just as there are churches that preach hate, synagogues that preach hate, and VFW halls that preach hate. You can' stop it. Some people are crazy, like those Don't Tread On Me flag wavers. Stay away from those nuts, trust me.

Now Christianity and it's followers, which are the majority of Americans, though I assume about 75% of them are phony hypocrites, preach love. They love their Jesus. They love their God. They say that, but do they mean it? In Temecula, California, numerous christian protesters brought their dogs to the site of the proposed mosque so the dog could pee and slobber on the site. You know how Muslims feel about dogs? It's like jamming a steak down a Catholic's throat at a beer fueled fish fry. It's like letting a pig loose at a bar mitzvah. It's rude, and it's cruel. A guy in Texas held pig races on a proposed site for a mosque. Not loving there, Christians.

Of course, many of these protests are egged on by opportunists like Newt Gingrich, and complete morons like The Quitta from Wasilla. Politicians are the antithesis of religious folk. Those cynical phonies deserve derision from the believers, not support. Yet here we are, in 2010, listening to scam artists and their bullcrap. But why would I expect any different? The bullcrap flows like wine every Saturday and Sunday in any mosque, church, synagogue and VFW Hall.

Blatherings Not From Caribou Barbie!

I can't believe everything's so awesome I haven't posted in a long time. Well scratch that thought cuz it's not so awesome but here we go.

1) Earl Benjamin Nelson is still the biggest tool in the United States Senate. This pandering nitwit has now catered to the nuts of the NRA in his never ending attempt to suck Republican Nebraska's cornhole. The only Democrat to oppose the Kagan nomination to the Supreme Court because she's not nutty gunny enough for him? Oh that's a new one, Earl, usually you are kissing the pro life hypocrites right on the tight lips. Most Republicans can't wait for 2012, when our midget Governor or his bug eyed child marriage opponent Attorney General take him down. I just can't wait for this phony Democrat to change parties, which I absolutely guarantee he will do. Get lost, you helmet haired suckass.

2) The closet cases who make up the American Family Association have called for the impeachment of Judge Vaughn Walker, who you might know as the gay Bush appointee who overturned Prop 8 out in California, upsetting the achte lieber out of closet case Governor Terminator. The AFA claims no homosexual should hold public office because they might let their "sexual proclivities" compromise their ability to be impartial judges when it comes to gay issues. The AFA also seems to think the Feds should have nothing to say about gay marriage as it is not in the Constitution. Ok geniuses, I guess that means David Vitter should not be making laws against prostitution, Larry Craig should not make laws against public indecency, John Ensign should make no laws against blackmail and Mitch McConnell should make no laws against protecting turtles. Oh yeah, and stop using that 1996 DOMA law, you know, the federal one, to argue your goddamned case. What I wouldn't give to see what kind of downloads are stuck way in the back of the AFA mainframe.

3) Future Republican presidential candidate , Tim Pawlenty, whoring around Iowa with his "hot" MILF wife arousing the libidos of overall wearing Iowans. "I'm very thankful for my red-hot smoking wife?" panted Pawlenty to the corn dog sucking rubes. Great, Tim, so now you're a pimp? Pawlenty also appealed to scared white people in his own state, Minnesota, to make English the official language of the Gopher State. There's so many jokes there I can't even tink aboot it. Ya knowwwwwwww.

4) Michele Bachmann was supposed to appear at a campaign rally for a teabagger opposed Senate candidate in Missouri last week, but she went into a hospital for an "undisclosed illness", at government expense I assume, before she could get there. For chrissakes, Congresswoman Lunatic, faking sick is so grade school. Her admission almost made me wish for real "death panels".

5) Go see "Inception". Twice. Not only will you get it the second time, it will make it more money and encourage Hollywood to make more smart movies. Please.