News from the state making every attempt to become Texas, or Mississippi or South Dakota or Iowa, no wait all those states have touristy shit like casinos and places to visit. Nebraska is making that attempt to qualify as the absolute most boring goddamned place on Earth outside of Nebraska 02 of which I still couldnt be prouder. Its leader is the man above, Governor and Trust Fund Kid Peter Ricketts. And by leader I mean a man so utterly despised by the two places in which actual people reside, Omaha and Lincoln, but worshipped anyplace else because he has that R next to his dumb name and dumb face.
Just listen to him. This dumb son of a bitch couldnt get elected to the board of the Chicago Cubs by his own family so they sent him here to get him out of Illinois. We now know why. This shiny headed talking thumb (thanks John Oliver) says this stupid shit all the time. Marijuana kills kids. Undocumented immigrants cant get the Covid vaccine because they dont exist here. People with underlying conditions cant get the vaccine because they arent old enough. Yet somehow in the sticks, the places not Omaha and Lincoln, the places nobody lives, the places that voted for him twice by Saddam type numbers in the 90% range, all seem to be fully vaccinated. This guy is walking Dr Evil.
I mean we are already thought of as dumb hicks worldwide, but we dont need Ricketts to further embolden that view (did I mention Ne 02?). We are not all a gaggle of knuckle dragging rubes barely remembering to breathe and Republican brain dead to boot. Yet here he is, our Leader, a T***P ass licker, saying OUT LOUD that a plant that is used to keep children in his own state from having seizures will kill them. Yeah the plant is also used to get high as a kite, but who wouldn't want that living in this Ricketts dominated wasteland? Ricketts, a man who attempted to obtain illegal drugs so he could kill a guy, suddenly opposes a drug legal in 30 plus states. Perhaps in Ricketts logic, he should just give death row inmates a pile of pot and let them "kill" themselves.
This dumb prick is term limited so we have two years left of his shitty leadership. Lets hope by then he has granted all of his loyal subjects the privilege of being vaccinated from Covid, not just the ones who voted for his dumb ass. But then, he will run for the United States Senate in 2024, a job for which Daddy failed to buy for him in 2006 because he got fucking crushed by an actual Nebraska Democrat named Joe Manchin Ben Nelson. But that of course was before 2008, when white America lost its ever lovin mind. So who knows if the people of this state will be stupid enough to send this dope east. If we do, I am going to commit suicide by plant.
Meanwhile for you football fans. yes indeedy, the suck fest that has befallen the once mighty Nebraska Cornhuskers only gets worse. Yeah we stink, we havent had a winning season in years, but our name is still marketable. The state lives in the past not only politically but footbally . Its still the 90s here in terms of football. Ya know back when we were good, maybe great. The problem is young people not only dont remember when the greatness existed, they also cant get stoned legally when the Huskers find yet another stupid way to lose.
But anyway. Remember the Nebraska vs Oklahoma series? Man was it good, trust me kids. It ended in the late 90s because we left the conference to get our ass kicked in the Big Ten. But this year, it is 50 years since the Game of the Century in 1971 and a celebratory game was scheduled for this year in Oklahoma.
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Whoaaaaaaaaaa there pardner. History be damned and along came Nebraska to attempt to weasel out of the game in which they will lose by 30 or 40 points and replace it with a home game against some patsy who could easily rise up and beat them anyway but at least the millions of dollars would be deposited in the coffers. Oklahoma blew the whistle on Nebraska's attempted chicanery and the rest is us looking all dumb again all in one week. 6 hours after the news broke of Nebraska's attempted deviousness they folded and tried to blame Covid for the confusion. Yeah they are playing Oklahoma. And how dare you think any different. Oh man.
Please Nebraska. Just shut up and stay uninteresting again.
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