AP History!

Oh thank Allah that Max got thru AP History in his senior year of high skool and got an A. As Max's Mom and I await his going away to join ISIS we see the College Board has finally done something about that anti-American AP History shit the were teaching and now have made the textbook a 400 page book that says on every page America Fuck Yeah!

Now finally, young uns will be taught the correct version of American History instead of the truth, real American history about shit like how fucking great we are and how fucking great we are!

You know like:

1) The American Revolution was inspired by God and how guys dressed like Indians to cover their own asses brave patriotic conservatives threw all that tea in the bay cuz Britain was really taxing them too much. God hates taxes, especially British taxes.

2) Slavery was allowed because it featured full employment with medical for all the blacks rescued from their homeland where a whole lot of other blacks kept them in slavery and white guys with jungle fever love in their hearts saved them from a fate worse than being whipped and thrown overboard and kept in chains. Those ungrateful blahhhh people need to be thanking the white man instead of being pissed off all the time when a courageous white cop kills an unarmed blaaaaa maniac.

3) Manifest Destiny was God's way of making his chosen people masters of the world like he meant it to be in the Garden of Eden when he created Abba Adam & Eve. Anything the gets in the way? See slavery above. You're welcome Crazy Horse.

4) The Civil War was all about slavery Southern Pride, slavery state's rights to keep people in chains employed, and slavery the threat of the evil federal government led by the man who caused 100% unemployment of all blacks, almost as bad as Obummer, Abe Lincoln.

5) The genocide christian conversion of the Native American was in reality a good thing. I mean come on, all that dancing around asking for rain, what kind of nonsense is that? Praise Jesus you heathens. You'll be better off.

6) The 16th Amendment saved America was Satan inspired and the result of thinking like Nobama has. The income tax is the price paid to live in America worst thing ever. Repeal the Amendment now.

7) Communism is whatever rights I don't get. Gay rights, women rights, black rights, mexican rights, Caitlin Jenner rights, all inspired by brave men and women Communist agitators. Joe McCarthy was a drunk hero. He embarrassed saved America from commies like Oliver Wendall Douglas.

8) Vietnam was fought to enrich the defense industry to free the people of Vietnam from a freely elected leader commie dictator named Ho Chi Minh who had a totally awesome evil looking beard like Lenin. We totally won even though the liberal media says we lost.

9) Ronald Reagan is the greatest American who ever lived. Period. All hail Ronald Reagan. Ronald Reagan raised taxes 11 times never ever even thought of raising taxes. Ronald Reagan proved that trickle down economics is just the rich pissing on your head worked cuz everybody was rich beyond belief back in the 80's. Like in that documentary Wall Street.

10) Ronald Reagan is the 3rd worst greatest President who ever lived. Period. He totally caused unnecessary tension took down the Soviet Union all by himself freeing millions of slaves around the world but good slaves, white ones, not the ungrateful blaaaaa ones we have here.

11) Barack Obummer is the 2nd best president of my lifetime epitome' of bad presidents. He collapsed a thriving economy, allowed terrorists to take down the Towers, caused Hurricane Katrina, started ISIS, lost the Iraq War, was totally born in Kenya, and has a wife with a big ass.

12) America is number one in everything. No matter what the facts say liberal lies say. we are exceptional! All of us Republicans are exceptional. It must be true because Joe Stalin Ronald Reagan said it. And Ronald Reagan is the false idol greatest American of all time.

America! Fuck Yeah!