I was just thinking about what kind of crazy shit you have to believe to be a Republican nowadays. Oh some of them are still just old school greedheads who want to die with all the money, others are still old school paranoid freaks who see commies under the posture pedic bed and yet others are just old school Romneys who just assume they are better bred than you and really don't want to hang with you because you are DNA challenged and probably eat your ranch covered salad and your deep fried whatever with the same fork. Positively beastly!
1) You have to believe that Obama's mom knew that her Kenyan fetus would become President someday and thus faked a birth announcement in the Honolulu newspaper to throw everybody from 2008 off the track. Then she went off and died. How convenient!
2) You have to believe that Obama hypnotized George W Bush back in 2006 and forced his ATF to start Operation Wide Receiver selling American guns (U S A U S A!) to the Mexican drug cartels while at the same time making Attorney General Gonzalez forget everything then continued the operation with a new name in 2009 just so he could watch it fail, blame the death of a patsy border guard on the American guns, and then force all the gun owners to give up their guns. Sneaky bastard!
3)You believe that your hatred of Obama, Holder, Sharpton, Jackson, Spike Lee, Barbara Lee, Van Jones, Michelle Obama, Sasha Obama, and that black dog of Obama's is all based on their politics but if you hate a tool like Allen West it's all cuz he's black. He is???
4) You actually believe the debt has doubled under Obama and that Afghanistan and Iraq were paid for by a giant gift card from Haliburton Mart.
5) You believe that giving rich guys tax breaks creates jobs and the fact that while the tax breaks were in force from 2001-2009 over 4 million jobs were lost is just Pravda type propaganda from them liberal media types. Like the Congressional Budget Office. Comrade.
6) You believe the stimulus failed. You have no idea why but Hannity said it or something. Your tax break from the stimulus never happened. More garbage from that uneducated Rachel Maddow.
7) Anytime it gets cold outside you holler. "so much for that global warming" then you snicker like the only thing keeping you from that late night hosting show are the libs in the media.
8)The Obamacare "tax" is the biggest tax increase in the history of the universe. You think this because Rush said so. You refuse to believe that Ronald Reagan (all genuflect) passed a tax increase of far greater amounts in 1983. Like twice as much. Stupid facts getting in the way.
9)You think some Mormon moderate who has done a 180 on so many beliefs that he apparently has no beliefs is your savior. You ignore the obvious because you can plainly see that Obama is, uuuhhhhhh, politically bad. And Mittens is white.
10) You listen to billionaires tell you what is good for the economy. They are looking out for you because regular guys like Rush, Hannity, O'Reilly and Donald Trump tell you so.
11) You think Wall Street con artists are hard working and that teachers and janitors are lazy bums sucking your tax money up. Looks like that janitor got ahold of your 401K too.
.........Oh it's just too depressing to ponder. The fact this country gets dumber by the day saddens me. But the major problem is that the stupid are proud of their stupidity. Yes, we are one proud people. Just ask the pied piper of dumb. Any right wing talk show host blabbing the talking points into the flabby heads of their lazy listeners. God Bless Ya Lonesome Rhodes!
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