Sunday, December 25, 2016

Mary's In Labor And Joseph Is Still Hunting Down The Father!


Merry Christmas to anyone who believes in such things. Happy Hanukkah to the original believers. Happy Kwanzaa to those who believe in that. And Have a Great Peaceful day to all the rest of us.

Right now in the Northern Plains of the United States of Russia on December 25th it is currently 40 degrees heading to a high of 55 or so. Oh and its pouring down rain, thundering like a fracking celebration is going on, and I am sweeping rain water off the driveway with a push broom to keep it out of my basement. Those hoaxster Chinese and their climate change pranks.

Anyway its only 26 days until fascism and anarchy take over so lets have one day of fun, merriment and hope. Tomorrow we can go back to trying to stop this madness from engulfing our lives.

Start drinking, smoking, eating or snorting or whatever you do to hold off the despair! And tell racist Uncle Joe to go fuck himself, but wait at least until this afternoon. And if all seems to be lost, watch this. It will make you smile!

Happy Holidays to all!

Friday, December 23, 2016

The Wave Of Zombies 4!


And now finally, that last wave of creatures making up the new cabinet of the guy who identifies with the common white man by crapping on a gold toilet and putting his fucking name on everything, Orange Mussolini. Jesus I am glad this is over. Let the hearings begin on this unqualified bunch of hacks and cronies who are replacing the swamp of qualified hacks and cronies with at least a semblance of humanity.

Secretary of the Treasury Steven Mnuchin

No thats not a misspell. It is actually his name. Kind of like Drumpf. Mnucgin, lets just call him Steve, has no experience in anything political or policy oreineted. His only qualification for this massive post is he's a Donald Drumpf toe sucker. Steve was a Goldman Sachs guy, ya know, like the Goldman Sachs that ran Ted Cruz's life and Hillary said horrible things to in a speech, oh wait, not THAT Goldman Sachs, the other Goldman Sachs, the good Goldman Sachs. Steve was also a hedge fund guy. You know, those leeches who sit around destroying people's lives as a kind of video game with real outcomes. But they make a shitload of money they could never possibly spend. Its a moral failing. These guys have no conscience, the whole economic system is a fucking game in which they win and they dont give a flying fuck who loses. Yes, the Trump ass licker is going to run the economy. Good new for you economically anxious white working class guys and gals. No taxes and no regulations on Wall Street. Yeah, Steve will get everything going again. Get ready for that 401K to explode, right in your face.

United States Secretary of Defense Geeral James "Mad Dog" Mattis

Yes sir, this whole administration is a goddamned WWE wet dream. A guy named Mad Dog to run the nation's defenses. I am convinced Drumpf picked this retired Marine Corps General only because he could yell "Mad Dog" at his crowd of rasslin fans and get huge cheers. "“Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.” Excuse me? I know he's a Marine and Marines are genetically nuts, tough as all hell, but crazy. Yeah you need Marines, but you really don't need them in charge of anything other than rampaging. The Defense Secretary is by its very name alone, in charge of DEFENSE. Mad Dog (yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy) is kind of a Secretary of Offense. “I come in peace. I didn’t bring artillery. But I’m pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you fuck with me, I’ll kill you all.” Ohhhh kayyyyyy then. This isnt Vince McMahon in some fake bullshit pay per view event (oh by the way its all fake, Drumpf fans) getting his creepy head shaved making goofy faces at our Fraud Elect, this is reality. You do realize this, right? To all White economically anxious voters I say get your kids ready cuz they are all gonna die to make Steve (see above) and his buddies even richer.

Attorney General of the United States Jefferson Beauregard Sessions

Good lord, where do even begin with this guy? Lets forget about the hearsay about him calling black guys "Boy" and him not thinking the Klan was all that bad until he found out some of them smoked the wacky weed while they were out burnin their crosses. Jefferson Beauregard Sessions has a record as an attorney and a federal prosecutor and as a a United States Senator from Alabama. That record is abysmal. Of course it is cuz his name is Jefferson Beauregard Sessions. A true Southern redneck still living in the 60's, the 1860's. Sessions has voted to ban flag burning and put it into the Constitution. He has voted to keep the icky gays from getting hitched and putting a ban on the into the Constitution to keep that from happening. About the only thing he doesnt like about the Constitution is the crap already in there. Ya know, like voting and drinking alcohol and voting and all that liberty shit the commies are always screamin about. Sessions called the Voting Rights Act of 1965 a “piece of intrusive legislation”. Goddamned Yankees comin down there and tellin the Jesus lovers what they gotta do. He once prosecuted civil rights workers for registering black folks to vote. He lost. He voted against lifting the ban on the icky gays in the military, he voted against the Violence Against Women Act , he hates the marijuana smokers and characterizes them a "not good people" after which I assume he threw down a couple of mint juleps. In other words, this guy is just another prick. Great huh? The top law enforcement official in the land has no fucking idea its 2016.

United States Secretary of State Rex Tillerson

He's the head of Exxon Mobil. A corporation that has its own foreign policy of bribing horrific dictators in order to win rich oil contracts. In other words, this soulless creep will destroy the lives of many in order to line his own pockets. Sometimes in direct conflict with official United State Foreign policy which of course to guys like this is run by a bunch of pussies. Tillerson may be the only Drumpf boot licker more in Putin's pocket than Drumpf himself. Tillerson is not only good buds with ex KGB Putin he is also BFF's with Igor Sechin, the head of the state run Russian oil company. Igor Sechin you ask? With a name like that of course he's ex KGB. Basically its the fact Tillerson has no interest in any nation on earth that doesnt sit on a lake of oil that should bother everyone . He knows nothing of India-Pakistan. He knows nothing of Israel-Palestine. He knows nothing of anything. You think this asshole cares about world peace? Fuck no. Tillerson has his head so far up Putin's ass that Drumpf himself may not be aable to get in himself. Tillerson has also sued to keep fracking out of his own back yard.He wants it in your backyard. Tillerson owns a shell oil company in cahoots with the Russians in the Bahamas. Oh fuck it. Just launch the missiles now.

White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer

Spicer is the typical press secretary. He is a fucking liar. The only difference between the Democratic liars and Spicer is Spicer also hates the very press he is there to speak with. So when Spicer lies, he will do it with a sneer. When the First Escort Melania Trump plagiarized Michelle Obama in her rambling speech at the Republican Convention Spicer was right there to defend Mrs. Drumpf. Welll uhhh Michelle plagiarized My Little Pony. But most important of all, Spicer is one of those pious asshole Catholics who leave that dirt on their foreheads all fucking day on Ash Wednesday to show how much better they are than you. Screw off Sean. You aint better than anybody. You prove that daily.

and finally........

Counselor to the President Kellyanne Conway

If Spicer is a professional liar, Kellyanne Conway, a sort of blonde skeletor, is the queen of bullshit. If anyone is not sick of this smiling cobra I dont know who they are. The woman cannot answer a question straight on if her gray roots depended on it. Conway, a pollster of some repute, once spent the early part of 2016 saying that the vulgar Donald Drumpf was a creep who offended everyone. Then of course she sold her soul and became Drumpf's point woman to cuddle the dummies and white supremacists who make up Drumpf's base. Oh that and those economically anxious white folks who voted for the so called billionaire who has their best interests at heart. Conway to them is the 7th grade teacher who tells them what to do, with a gigantic smile on her face as she suppresses her absolute hatred of them. Conway is truly the empty vessel of Satan that Drumpf can never be. A spitting cobra of a woman, Conway is the face of this administration. A smiling liar with a nun's demeanor. You have to have done time in 1960's Catholic grade school to know what fear this horrible woman brings out of our deep sleeping repressed brains. She is truly evil.

The Tweeter Elect has surrounded himself with some of the most unqualified self centered morons this country has ever seen. And thats not even including his creepy sons, Uday and Kusay Drumpf.

We need help. Lots of help. If there was a God, which with this election I know there isnt. I'd scream out for help. Oh what the hell. HELP US OH LORD.

Monday, December 19, 2016

Two Heroes And A Zero!


Two American heroes died over the past two weeks. Lucky them.

John Glenn was a member of the Mercury 7. The first man to orbit the earth. One tough son of a bitch. Glenn was the epitome' of a hero. The word has been so diluted over the past 50 years I am not sure there are any heroes left. Nowadays, you put on a uniform and sit around playing high tech video games in which you actually get to kill people and the only risk is carpal tunnel, and you get called a hero.

John Glenn risked it all. Nobody knew what would happen. But John Glenn risked it all. And for what? His nation? The world? Himself?

John Glenn became a Senator from Ohio. He ran for President in 1984 but never got any traction because by then, real heroes had taken a back seat to made up heroes like Ronald Reagan, a man who never risked a damn thing yet was created by a cynical new breed of bullshit artists. Glenn went on to go back to space at the age of 77 again renewing his hero license. John Glenn died at age 95. The world is worse off because a real hero like John Glenn is gone.

Larry Colburn died last week at age 67. Larry Colburn was also an American hero. Colburn was a chopper gunner during the Vietnam War when his Captain, Hugh Thompson Jr, saw the My Lai Massacre going on beneath them. Thompson landed his chopper between the American soldiers slaughtering innocent Vietnamese civilians and exclaimed "Y'all cover me! If these bastards open up on me or these people, you open up on them. Promise me!" to which gunner Larry Colburn answered "You got it boss, consider it done." A stare down occurred between Colburn and the soldiers. The crew saved numerous civilians that day, including an 8 year old boy clinging to his mother's dead body in a ditch (see pic above for the reunion in 1998) Oh yeah, Larry Colburn was 18 years old that day.

John Glenn and Larry Colburn represent the best of America. It's what we can be. Not what we have become.

Today in America, a band of cowards elected a bona fide fascist bigoted sexual assaulter as President of the United States. This is what we have become. A nation of dim bulbed morons fascinated with reality show clowns who promise them the sun and the moon. John Glenn and Larry Colburn are out there somewhere covering somebody's ass, instead of being one.

Sunday, December 18, 2016

I Love The Poorly Educated!


What in the hell is going on in this nation? What else do the "poorly educated" believe? This truly makes me shudder.

Il Douche' Wave 3!


Its getting so close. The takeover of the longest running democracy in world history by a fascist puppet of a shirtless Russian despot. Nice going, hillbillies.

His cabinet gets worse and worse with every pick though it seems impossible at some point. But the thrice married vulgarian manages. Onward.

Office of Management and Budget Mick Mulvaney

This hick from South Carolina is not only a climate denier (arent they all?) but also denies that defaulting on the debt ceiling is no bigley deal. Mulvaney, a member of the 2nd worst body of politicians on earth, the United State House of Representatives, also says hey who knows what will happen when the debt ceiling is not extended. Sound like anybody? Dont get into a car with this idiot or he may say hey I dont know what will happen if I drive this car off a cliff. A member of the "Freedom Caucus", a group of scavenging raccoons that includes anarchists like Rep Steve King (Evil-Ia), Mulvaney helped bring the country to brink of hell back in 2011 when he said that he would gladly vote the default on the national debt and that he didnt even know what the word "catastrophic" means. Catastrophic is whenever Mick Mulvaney is being asked a question.

Secretary of Energy Rick Perry

What.............the...........Fuck......The last two Secretaries of Energy ave been nuclear physicists. Trump picks a Texas Dancing With The Stars loser cuz he has lots of energy or something. Perry ran for President twice to disastrous results. Remember "oops"? Then in 2016 he put on a pair of glasses to look smart and it went even worse. Christ, even the Kook Elect said putting glasses on doesnt make you more intelligent. Trump demanded Perry take an IQ test before being allowed into the Republican debates. Perry sits on a board directly associated with that disgusting Dakota Pipeline so in true Profiteer Elect fashion, Perry stands to gain from the destruction of sacred Sioux land. Perry is so dumb, he really needs to be told to breathe. He thinks Jaurez if the most dangerous city in America, he thinks you should teach creationism alongside evolution, he thinks the BP oil spill was an act of God, he thinks "Solyndra" is a country, and remember that ranch name? Look, its just a fact,and not a post truth "fact", Rick Perry is a moron. And he will be in charge of nukes.

Secretary of Transportation Elaine Chao

She married human turtle hybrid Mitch McConnell. What else do you need to know? She used to be Secretary of Labor under that now not so bad George W Bush guy. So at least she's got some sort of experience fucking over the little guy. Besides, it's a gift. Mitch McConnell keeps Russian hacking under wraps, cuz its always party over country with reptile human hybrids and the wifey gets a cabinet position. Easy Peasy, y'all. So the next time you are on a newly deregulated flight, just remember that your pilot may be hammered, the screws are loose, or the wing looked fine from the corporate office. Deregulation equals booming business right? Who cares if a trucker drives 36 hours straight right? Deregulation means profits.. Fuck your safety.

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Ben Carson

Hey he's black right? He must have lived in an urban house at one point? Ben Carson, who originally said he had no experience in government so didnt want a Cabinet Position is Trump's only black male acquaintance. I mean come on, Omarosa is a broad so she's out. Hey what'd I say? Dummy! Carson, when he's not sleepy, is just a black version of Rick Perry. Oh yeah he is by all accounts a brilliant brain surgeon, which makes Perry a prime candidate, but outside of fucking around with people's noggins, he doesnt know much else. Carson once claimed to have tried to kill a guy which led to the sleep deprived or possibly loaded up on speed Amphetamine Abuser Elect to make a fool of himself as usual. Carson running HUD is like Trump running a country. Oh shit. I forgot. Carson thinks the pyramids were giant grain silos, would charge at an active shooter presumably with a crowd of first graders, thinks most Americans are stupid, thinks Obamacare is worse than 9/11, and the favorite black guy of millions of racists. As long as he doesnt get too close.

Secretary of Health and Human Services Tom Price

Price is congresscritter from Newt Gingrich's old district, 'Nuff said? Price is a walking talking knuckle dragger. He is against everything. Gun background checks. Abortion, Gay rights, the environment, NPR, PBS, Planned Parenthood, Health Insurance, Medicare, Social Security, Women, birth control, gun research, basically he's against Health and Human Services. Oh he is For stuff. Pre-existing condition clauses in private insurance. Women birthin babies, Gays staying in the closet, repealing Obamacare and replacing it with too fucking bad, HIV, guns and more guns, AAPS. Oh yeah the AAPS....these are those cretins run by dead Phyllis Schlafy's even more evil spawn. It's immoral for doctors to participate in Medicare or Medicaid. Tobacco taxes are a burden to health care, electronic medical records are another Gubmint plot to control your lives and Obama "hypnotized" voters into electing him. Tom Price, the proposed HHS head dude, is a believer in this nonsense. We are so fucked. Unless you are a white man, an insurance company, or dumb as hell.

United States Secretary of Labor Andrew Puzder

Andy Puzder is a Hardee's clerk with a Trump button on instead of his name tag. Puzder is a vulgar buffoon much like the Baboon Elect. Puzder, who will oversee a department set up to protect workers, doesnt even like workers. He likes robots cuz they dont take vacations, call in sick and always up sell. Ya want fries with that? Puzder thinks minimum wage is a burden to his corporate profits. He thinks workers turn down raises because it would mean an end to their "Free government stuff". Basically Puzder is a putz who hates people beneath him on the economic totem pole which is most everybody. Unless of course you are a hot babe. Preferably one he can beat up when she gets out of line. Puzder is the "genius" behind the infamous Carls Jr and Hardees ads where hot babes in bikinis slither around on a car eating his shitty hamburgers. Puzder, exploiter of the poor, and alleged domestic abuser. He truly is a drive thru Trump.

Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross

Wilbur Ross is a vulture capitalist. A guy who buys companies in trouble to sell off their assets and make himself even more money. He's a 79 year old Mitt Romney in other words. Oh yes, Ross is soft spoken and seems to be a kindly old man but he IS Mister Potter. He owned the company that was in charge of the Sago Mine which of course when it exploded, cost 12 miners their lives. Now I'm sure all 12 miners relatives voted for the Dirty Energy Guy Elect cuz being killed in a coal mine is every little West Virginia boy's dream but come on now, Ross was in charge that fateful day. Does anyone care? Hell no, change is bad. Where's my buggy whip? Ross's job is to promote American business. Ya know, like guns, bombs and shit that explodes, our greatest export. You think Ross will help keep other types of jobs here? LOL.

Secretary of Interior Ryan Zinke

I guess we should all be glad that the Land Rapist Elect didnt pick the Dumbass of the North or an earthquake advocate like this asshole and instead picked a Montana congressman who lives in denial of most facts but really has no current power. Ryan Zinke is truly a neanderthal. He once called Hillary the "anti-Christ". Zinke was a Navy Seal which means he is one tough son of a bitch but he also seems to have a bone to pick with Ovary-Americans. He doesnt think much of equal pay for chicks, doesnt think much of babes in combat, and didnt withdraw support from the Pussy Grabber Elect after that bus trip recording came out. But how about Zinke on the environment? Zinke is rumored to have been the choice of well know animal murderer Donnie Trump Junior, who wants to keep his land open so he can murder more animals. So I guess if you need a positive, well there ya go. So Donnie Junior can keep on killing, maybe some public land may be preserved from oil drilling and fracking. I am not holding my breath and if THAT is the best thing I can come up with we truly are fucked.

Thats it for now.........I need to go outside in the minus 25 degree wind chill and holler "wheres yer global warmin now?"........

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Honesty!



Away from the dishonesty of the Puppet Elect for a moment for a moment of pure honesty. Patti Smith doing Dylan. Beautiful. And honest as all hell.

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Tidal Wave #2!


We now know that this next wave of deadbeats and drifters that El Commandante Trump has appointed is personally approved by the real leader of Amerika, Vladimir Putin. Hey Trumpers, how's it feel that your hero, one Ronald Reagan, who on his own won the Cold War (at least according to you idiots) has now been de-nutted within 3 months by your new hero, the guy who tells it like it isnt, Donald J Trump? How does a brain, a working brain, wrap itself around the post truth "fact" that Reagan won the Cold War against the "evil empire" by spending them into oblivion, and now that same "evil empire" has installed its own puppet into the Oval Office? Oh what, Putin took his shirt off so he's hunky and strong? Oh my, how homo-erotic for you bigots.

Back to the wave of nefarious villains who will be serving Comrade Putin.

UN Ambassador Nikki Haley

Everybody knows Nimrata Randhawa is the Governor of South Carolina, which is akin to being the captain of the 9th place intramural basketball team. The United Nations has had a stream of unprincipled idiots representing the US over the years, most of whom would have shown the door to the rest of the ambassadors if it was up to them. Haley, who is a real player, wink wink, has the foreign policy experience of most Governors of low level states. That is basically running around the world at taxpayer expense whoring her state out for a few bucks and a cookie. Hell, the only reason Haley is Governor of that state is that Mark Sanford took a trip up the Argentinian Trail and imploded. Well at least until the brain dead voters of the even worse than North Carolina state decided to put the creep back in Congress. Ya know, that R. So good luck Nikki. Try an figure out why your nameplate says "Russia Junior".

Administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency Edward Scott Pruitt

Scott Pruitt is a land rapist. Scott Pruitt would sell his left nut to any oil executive who demanded it, no no, he'd sell YOUR left nut to any oil devil who demanded it. Pruitt is the Attorney General of Oklahoma. Ok, gather yourself from laughing at that. Attorney General of Oklahoma? Somebody tell Il Douchey that doesn't mean he's a real General like General Mills or General Patton. Pruitt is a loser of so many elections (Christ even Okies didnt want this idiot making laws) that Attorney General was all he could manage to win, thanks to the Oil and Gas sleazeballs. Pruitt thinks being Attorney General of Oklahoma means he gets to sue everybody who might benefit dirt poor Okies who didnt have the sense top leave in the 30's. Sue the government to keep Okies from getting health care, sue the government to keep polluters polluting, sue the government to keep earthquake progress going thru fracking. Pruitt is the proverbial fox guarding the henhouse. Fuck, even the creator of the EPA, Dick Nixon, is spinning in his crypt. Satan himself is thinking of paroling Nixon with this bunch knocking on the door.

Administrator of the Small Business Administration Linda McMahon

For fucks sake, is this a joke? This administration is treating us like a bunch of jobbers. McMahon is the super rich wife of Vince McMahon. Oh do we have to watch this presidential disqualifying act again? Linda McMahon gave Trump $7 million during the campaign. Oh sorry, Citizens United freaks, gave $7 million to a pro- Trump PAC that was busy brainwashing mushy minds into voting for a cartoon character. I give you $7 million, you give me a job? Sounds sleazy to me, but in this current climate, its just smahhhhhhhht. Perhaps at some point, McMahon can explain what she knows about small business. After all, we arent all dumbfucks who think WWE is a sport.

United States Secretary of Homeland Security John Kelly

Well the first thing he should do is fucking arrest Donald J Trump for selling out the country to a murderous thug on a horse. But we all know that aint happening. Kelly is an immigration hawk who believes that Latin America is the main threat to Amerika. Drugs, immigrants, cartels. Kelly is an old school Marine. He doesnt endorse candidates, he isnt find of women in combat or in the military at all I am sure, torture is no problem and does not weaken America's human rights high horse. Kelly is a guy you get when the right wing takes over. He's not any more evil than anybody else. He's just a tough old bastard. And he's going to be running an agency that really ought to be abolished.

Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos

Billionaire Pyramid Scheme Artist appointed to "educate" America by fellow Billionaire Grifter Con Man Donnie T. DeVos is a school voucher advocate which of course means she just wants to gravitate taxpayer money from public schools to religious based factories of re-education. DeVos has never taught anybody anything other than religious based bullshit. She has advocated destroying reforming public education to "advance God's Kingdom". She regularly quotes Biblical myths to justify her desire to turn the country's children into zombies eating brains for Jesus. She appeared with Fearless Leader at one of his "Victory Tour" stops and demanded an end to Common Core, which not one person in that glazed eyed crowd could explain. So much for Il Douche getting rid of "special interests". Billionaire Pyramid Schemers. How much more "special" can you get? And oh yeah, her brother is a war profiting scumbag.

Wow theres only so much one can take at a time. Can it get worse? Oh yeah. It can. And it does.

Do svidaniya! comrades.