State Of The Wingnut!!!

I confess right up front. I did not see or hear one millisecond of the State of the Union address by HypnObama last evening. I was at a basketball game watching a bunch of underachievers and high basketball IQ types from Creighton University take on a bunch of athletic gentlemen from St.John's University. The underachievers and high IQ types won in the last second much to the delight of all the underachievers in the crowd.

Anyway, who needs to see that waste of time anyway when the only thing worth watching is the wingnuts react in that so wingnutty way to the fact that we enter 6th year of rule by that athletic president of ours who keeps beating those underachievers and high politics IQ types the Republicans keep nominating. You know, John Gramps McCain and his wacky shooting guard Sarah Had One Of The Fab Five Palin and then Mittens Von Romney and his jug eared pointy headed guard Paul The Bro Ryan. Slam Dunk in Yo Face muthafuckas!

Wingnut reaction. Well, Congressnitwit Tim Huelskamp (Whats the Matter With-Ks) decided that pissing off a Rhodes Scholar lesbian like Rachel Maddow was good strategy. Oh poor Tim. You don't even know what hit you. Tim, Benghazi,Benghazi Benghazi is no way to go thru life, son. And calling a brainiac lezbo a "cheerleader" is really dumb. But considering Huelskamp represents a portion of Kansas where no Democrat even attempts to take on this dimbulb, it probably means Huelskamp will get his props from the yahoos for putting the wood to the commie, mannish dyke.

Senator , sorry just a second, haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, ok, Mike Lee of Utah gave the Teabagger response to the Obama hypno session. He called Obamacare an "inequality Godzilla". I assume he has stake in that new Godzilla movie coming out and was simply plugging it because if he wasn't. Well then, Mike Lee,you have no idea what Godzilla is. Godzilla is a loud, fire breathing, clumsy staggering mess of a mutant that wrecks everything in its way. Kind of like the Tea Party.

Congresscreep Randy Weber (Nuttier than Ron Paul-Tx), the successor to old Uncle Slapnutz Ron Paul, didn't even wait for President Blackenstein to rumble into the House before insulting him with the oh so clever "Kommandant-in-Chief" tweet. Been watching to much of that Hogans Heroes on the METV have ya, Randy? Funny Nazis, I got your back, bro. Randy went back on the twitter to launch a few more zingers during Nobama's call to communism by referring to POTUS by its real Texas name, "Poor Obama Trashed US"....excuse me for a second......haaaaaaaaa.....ok...nice one Representative Dumbfuck from Texas. Hey, I don't necessarily mean Randy, that title could fit any number of Texas reps.

Somebody named Katie Pavlich, who appears on Fox News because she's blonde and Roger Ailes needs new spank bank material, likes to tweet a LOT. When President Schwarze spoke about climate change, Katie tweeted out a lot of screen grabs of low temperatures in the south. You know, cuz like if its cold in winter anywhere, that like proves that like global warming is stupid.

Erick Erickson, whose parents saw what they had in the baby basket and said fuck it, just call him Erick, was in his typical all you Uterus-Americans are dopes mode. Erick the Redkneck was calling out "Abortion Barbie" who I assume, you sexist fat fuck, is Wendy Davis (Awesome-Tx). Erickson was out trolling for twitter blowjobs and got them form the likes of self hating babes like Laura Ingraham, Dana Perino, Andrea Tantaros, Dana Loesch, and Jonah Goldberg.

The aforementioned Dana Loesch, who describes herself as a Missourian (strike 1 2 and 3), a radio host (strike 4 5 and 6) and a meathead.....oh sorry, it says "metalhead", stated that Republican respondee Cathy McMorris Rodgers (No fuckin idea-Whereever)sat on a settee instead of a birth control pill while yakking. Huh? Dana, do you know how birth control pills even work? Been hanging with Limbaugh again? Don't pull his finger, you'll thank me later.

Hey they all are pretty dumb responses to President Blackula's speech. But one thing positive, at least they didn't threaten to throw Nobama over "the fucking railing".

Pete Seeger!

I went to see Inside Llewyn Davis last Saturday (more about that later) and while watching I often thought about Bob Dylan and Peter, Paul & Mary and especially Pete Seeger. Pete was never somebody I could call anything more than a guy who made me feel good about being on this earth. I didn't own any of his records, I never saw him in concert, I probably couldn't name you more than 5 of his songs. But Pete Seeger, when he was on my television screen made me glad to be a goddamned American liberal. He had that inner peace, that sense of right and wrong, that knowledge that what he was saying was the truth. The man had a moral compass and he didn't care who knew it.

Pete Seeger died at the age of 94 the other day. That makes me sad because it means there's one less of us and Ted Nugent's clout has gone one up.

You know, Bruce Springsteen was correct. He introduced Pete Seeger once as looking "like your granddad, if your granddad could still kick your ass".

Yep, Pete Seeger kicked everybody's ass.

Roe Roe Roe Your Boat!

Yep it's that time of year again when a bunch of middle aged men, some old ladies , a few brainwashed young folks and lying politicians all get together to gnash their teeth about a 41 year old law that gave women the right to do whatever the fuck they wanted with their own bodies. Every year we see this nonsense when people, who all have that Gerber baby pounded into their head, walk around your hometown and think they know what's best for chicks and your slutty, libido crazed bodies.

Down in Lincoln over the weekend, 4000 people (which in reality means about a thousand) all gathered at the State Capitol to listen to their heroes, every lying sack of shit Republican officeholder or wannabe office holder screech about how they will end abortion. They've been telling these same rubes this for 41 years now and the rubes keep showing up. Now the pro-life business is lucrative for a few people who get paid to pretend to care about the Gerber baby so I understand their interest. But these dopes like a group of Catholic high school boys standing around without shirts in 30 degree weather I will never understand. I'd like to think that Catholic high school boys really care about babies but being a former Catholic high school boy myself, I know the only thing these hormone cases really care about is the process of making the damn baby. If these pro lifer boys ever got the chance to go through that process and hit the jackpot and a baby was created in God's image, how long would it be before Mary Theresa had to go get that D&C that Catholic girls often get. Abortion, my ass. It's a ectopic pregnancy!!!

The politicians all got up in their Husker gear and yammered on about ending abortion and how goddamned great these saps were while at the same time refusing to accept federal funding of Medicaid because ya know all those lazy ass poor people breeding like rats and sucking up the tax money that should go to the rich. In fact one of the wannabees, the subject of a previous post, Senate pretty boy candidate Dougie Sasse, strapped his two year old onto his carpetbagger body and flat out lied about the evil Obama forcing all you womens to get abortions through Obamacare. Booooooooo the suckers all yelled.

The the marchers waddled up the way to listen to some Texas nitwit tell them what a trampy bleach blonde bitch that Wendy Davis is. More booing occurred.

Yes there were some counter demonstrators demanding the Republican gubmint stay out of their uterus but they were dismissed as sluts and harlots and besides, according to numerous comment losers on the newspaper websites, they were all ugly anyway which invalidates their opinions on just about anything.

Sometime when it gets warmer here in Omaha, a bunch of the old men, old ladies, young brainwashed kids, and the paid pro-life scammers will form a chain up and down the main drag to show how pro-lifey they are. The crowds diminish every year as the old people croak and the young ones wise up after the D&C they got in college saved their bacon.

Here in Nebraska there is a movement to change the state slogan from "The Good Life" to something else. Now keep in mind here in "The Good Life" we have no gambling, no gay marriage, no medicinal marijuana, and if the bumpkins have their way, no abortion. Yep, from now on the state slogan should be "No Fun Of Any Kind".

Michelle O'Bammer!

You're on, Fox News, Free Republic, Twitter, Breitbart, Fox Nation, Newsbusters, Drudge Report, Newsmax, Townhall, Hannity, Atlas Shrugs, American Thinker, Rush, Hot Air, Malkin, Redstate, O'Reilly, RealClearPolitics, and Stormfront.

I'm sure there will some great analysis of her dunking style.

Sherman Tanks!

For the love of Roger Staubach, what the hell was THAT last night after Seattle and it's really LOUD fans beat the Niners and got to go to the Super Bowl? Some dread locked Seattle lunatic decided to start screeching like he'd just delivered a pile driver to Baron Von Raschke (yeah I'm old) or something. With Erin Andrews playing the role of Mean Gene Okerlund, Seattle cornerback Richard Sherman went all heel on America right after the game. Yeah, he had delivered a pile driver right to San Francisco receiver Michael Crabtree and goddammit he was gonna tell you all about it. And now America hates him for it. Go Broncos and that nice boy Peyton "OmaHAAA" Manning.

Ok, I was taken aback by Sherman's boisterous hollering and flaring his nostrils and moving towards the camera. Yep, he scared me. I didn't know what the hell was up with him and immediately wanted him to take a legal Washington bong hit and chill the fuck out before he had a stroke or Erin Andrews ran screaming from him like she did from 50 Cent.

10 minutes later Richard Sherman sat down with Jimmy and Terry and Bobby and Billy and acted perfectly normal. In fact, Mr.Sherman (I will call him this forever now) sounded like he went to Stanford or someplace really smart. Oh yeah, he did. He graduated from Stanford, started working on a Masters Degree, works with charities and has a big mouth. Oh well. If that's the worse thing this guy ever does, goes batshit crazy less than 5 minutes after he'd basically won the biggest football game of his life, so be it.

Hey look, America hates this guy now. I get it. I really don't think I'd get along with Mister Sherman either nor do I think I'd get along with that cheating bush league coach Pete Carroll. Or get along with Tom Brady or Peyton Manning or Jim Harbaugh or 99% of most athletes and their whackjob coaches. But look deeper into WHY Mister Sherman looked like a raving maniac after that game and you may learn something.

Apparently Michael Crabtree may be a bit of an asshole. Seems Crabtree tried to fight with Mister Sherman at a fucking charity event last summer and that didn't sit well with Mr.Sherman, who vowed to "embarrass" Crabby at some point. Well, he did and once again, goddammit, he wanted you to know it.

The NCAA has a 10 minute "cooling off" period. This, I assume, is so incidents like that don't happen after games. A 10 minute cooling off period may have also helped prevent America from going all batshit crazy themselves and tweeting vile, racist shit at this football player.

So Mister Sherman has the benefit of the doubt with me now. He didn't call anybody a n***** or swear into a camera or do anything that doesn't go on during a football game every day. You know football, the past time of America. The sport we all love so much. The sport that makes us throw food at an injured player from the opposing team. The sport that makes drunken hooligans beat each other up because they have the audacity to be dressed in opposing teams colors. The sport where we all cheer when some guy gets coldcocked. The sport where grown people base thejir entire self esteem on what a 20 year old kid does every weekend in the fall.

But let a black guy with dreads scream and scream and let off steam in front of us all? Unforgiveable!

But even after all that, a game between Mister Sherman, Pete Carroll, that dick Golden Tate and those asshole LOUD Seattle fans and Denver, a team I hate with all my passion because it's located in Denver? I have to choke it out.......Go Bron.........oh shit, I can't do it. What time is the Puppy Bowl?

Somebody Get Me A Coconut Coffin!

The Professor has died. I jut hope Gilligan isn't screwing up his entry to the deserted island in the sky.

Rest in peace, Russell Johnson.

Oklahomo!

Please stop! My sides hurt from laughing. These judges are killing me. Utah and Oklahoma's gay marriage laws are unconstitutional. What next? Nebraska? Gawd I hope so.

It's been a bad year for the Gawd fearing Oklahomans who praise Jesus when their house gets destroyed by a twister and they stay alive even though their next door neighbor got a steel pipe through his head.

Their genius constitutional amendment outlawing Sharia law was thrown out by a federal judge who couldn't stop laughing after reading it.

Satanists want to put up a 7 foot statue of old Beezelbub himself on the state capitol grounds because there's already a big stone copy of the Ten Commandments there and hey what the hell, equal time for all mythical figures and nonsensical suggestions.

And now, the gays will be coming to a trailer park near you looking for somebody to force marry.

Oklahoma, you better be ready for the Lord's wrath again this spring. I heard he's really pissed and is going to send all sorts of tornadoes because of all this federal judging keeping you from establishing your own little Jesus dictatorship. Hit the basements now, Oklahoma. Like you do every year.

Shhhhhhhh. I just spoke to God. He told me to talk to Mother Nature about the wind sweepin down the plain.