Thursday, March 10, 2011

On Wisconsin!



No, that's not a picture of New York assclown Peter King living his fantasy of beating up brown people while simultaneously giving pasty,red headed Irish "freedom fighters" a hand job. Nope, it's Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker's exempt union thugs beating up other non exempt union thugs.

No collective bargaining in Wisky? The State legislature of that binge drinking cheese addicted state has finally done it. Given the Koch Brothers a Cialis fueled four hour stiffy. I hope they both drown in their respective bathtubs.

This is the first shot fired in the war on working people. Scott Walker is the Gavro Princip of this war. Let's just hope that the working people of this nation, including those useful idiots of Teabag Nation, wake up before it's too late. If not, this country will simply be another economic shithole between Canada and Mexico.

Keep fighting, Badgerland. Oh sure, take a day off next Thursday to drink green beer, the cheap stuff of course, but be back on Friday to get rid of these Koch whores in the legislature. We are all counting on you.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

And Another Thing, John McCain Is Old!



Oh my, that crazy dildo enthusiast, James O'Keefe, is at it again. Getting two of his bitches to pose as Muslims, presumably with fake beards and Ali Baba shoes, and secretly taping FORMER NPR fund raising poobah, Ron Schiller, saying really horrible things about teabaggers. Like they're xenophobes, and racists, and Christian fundies, and gun nuts, and uneducated. Schiller also praised NPR for terminating Fox News' house boy, Juan Williams last year. O'Keefe's errand clerks also ranted about Jews controlling the media, presumably to impersonate a teabagger, and offered Sciller, a FORMER NPR fund raiser, a $5 million dollar "donation". Showing more than enough integrity, Schiller said no thanks.

Wow. Some guy who USED to work at NPR spouts off fair and balanced opinions that nobody can deny and now NPR is being attacked again by a self loather like Eric Cantor? Christ, O'Keefe, what next? Are you going to secretly tape a bear crapping in the woods? Or how about The Pope saying a Mass? Or Charlie Sheen snorting blow?

And you, NPR, stating how shocked you are at the fact some former employee thinks teabaggers are racist, dumb, and religious fanatics? I am going to have my brother erase his Carl Kassel voice mail message in protest!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

The Real Housewives Of Orange County!



I think I'd rather to listen to that harpie from Alaska or that nasally Laura Ingraham or Michele Bachmann for that matter than these shrill scumbags. The make the Westboro Baptist Church sound like Mozart. I think Ronald Reagan was screaming "SHUT UP!!!" from his crypt.

All I can say is Wow!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Please Save Us From Ourselves, Ernie!




On the top of the Nebraska State Capitol building, a big tall phallic like building affectionately known as the Penis of the Plains, is a statue called The Sower. The Sower is spreading his seeds presumably in a way they use to do in the 1800's, otherwise known as ten years ago here in Nebraska.

Inside this building the body of nitwits known as the Nebraska Unicameral resides for either 60 days a year or 90 days a year, depending on odd or even years or just because they like to make even bigger morons of themselves every other year. Oh yeah, our wonderful Unicameral is so unique. 49 "Senators" introduce stupid bill after stupid bill without any fear that another legislative body will wise up and kill it. Nope, way back in the 1930's, known as 5 years ago here in Nebraska, my ancestors decided to save some money and go to a one house legislature. Voila! We are so unique, and cheap. Until a few years ago, these rubes made about $4800 a year and then got a huge raise to $12,000 a year. Well as they say "you get what you pay for". I wish we got $12,000 worth out of the whole lot of them.

This body of dopes consists of 36 Republicans (though "officially" non partisan) and 13 Democrats. So as you can see, combine that with a gutless, teabagger Republican Governor and you have GOP heaven. Years ago, the most hated man in Nebraska, a black man named Ernie Chambers, dominated this body of hicks. He knew procedures backwards and forwards, knew how to kill any bill, knew how to add amendments to stupid bills until it died from lack of time (once he added an amendment to a bill authorizing payment to an official "Unicameral chaplain" that would have paid the guy 30 pieces of silver). Senator Chambers so pissed off rural Nebraskans for 30 some years they passed a law limiting Senators to two terms just to get rid of him. Then he left (though he's threatening a return next year) and the clowns took over the circus.

This clown pictured above is State Senator Mark Christensen of Imperial, Nebraska(though what the manager from Major League is doing in the background is beyond me). Don't look on a map, you'd never find it but its way down in the southwestern corner near McCook, hometown of one Earl Benjamin Nelson, distinguished "Democratic" U.S.Senator from Nebraska. So you know there's something in the water down there.

Mark Christensen is our version of Michelle Bachmann. Or Steve King. This guy has introduced bills into the legislature to arm teachers and/or students, force candidates to prove their citizenship (yep he's a birther) and to prevent Nebraska judges from basing opinions on foreign law, his version of those anti-Sharia amendments dumb rednecks like to pass. I'm looking at you Oklahoma!

But now, State Senator Mark Christensen, an alleged "Christian", has copied South Dakota and rammed through a kill your abortion provider anget out of jail free bill. The "law",LB232, which would allow people to kill to protect unborn fetuses is just another version of that South Dakota nonsense that got shelved the other day. Christensen, of course, claims it's not intended to justify any murder of any abortion provider, but you know how many times this proposed "law" would have been used had it been in effect in the last, oh I don't know, 40 years? Zero. So you can see how important it is.

The deputy Omaha Police Chief testified against it. The Chairman of the Judiciary Committee said it would lead to "firefights" at clinics. Personally, if a pregnant woman needs to defend herself from an assault, and kills the attacker, isn't that self defense? Isn't that covered now? Christ, we have laws in this state that allow you to shoot a kid for walking across your lawn. Why is this needed?

Oh yeah, the Catholics want it. And the born agains. And of course, men who love to tell women what to do.

And guys who take the first six letters of their last name way too seriously. Right, Mark?

Sunday, February 27, 2011

I'm A Huffin' And I'm A Puffin' !




Yeah we got some big old buildings here in Omaha. That one (the First National Bank Tower) is a whole 40 stories high and the Steve King voters from across the river in Iowa like to come over and look up at it thinking Jesus himself may be sittin' up there sometime.

Anyway, Max's Dad climbed the steps of that damn thing in 12:02 Saturday morning. So what you say? Well a year ago Max's Dad was a fat, slow, immovable white guy and couldn't have ridden the elevator to the top without stopping on 20 for a breather. Now, Max's Dad is an overweight, slow, movable white guy who can climb 864 steps or whatever the ungodly number is without dropping dead.

When you get to the top, 633 feet up towards heaven, you can look down and flip the Steve King voters off. That's what Jesus would do. Onward!

Friday, February 25, 2011

Cairo, Tripoli, Madison?



Ever since I was a little kid in Catholic School and saw how hard my parents worked, how smart they were, and how they never seemed to quite get to where they wanted to be, I listened to the American Dream propaganda and thought it was a giant load of crap. And of course, it IS a load of crap. And it gets stinkier by the day.

All over the country, scared, fearful, ignorant people are freaking out and looking for somebody to blame for their woes. Oh, it can't be the fact the "american dream" is bollocks, it has to be somebody's fault that I'm still driving the 10 year old car and haven't had a raise in 5 years. It can't be Wall Street's fault. Those white guys and gals in $5000 suits are too big to blame. The Republicans (and some Democrats) in Congress who suck the Wall Street ass are not to blame. They're looking out for me. By giving those Wall Street folks more and more money, they might let me have some of it and give me a better job (keep dreaming there bub unless you are willing to move to China). No it has to be the Mexicans, no no the gays, no no I got it, it's unions. Unions! That's who to blame. Government leeches taking my tax money and doing nothing in return but giving me a hard time at the DMV. Greedy teachers teaching my kids all that liberal claptrap like math and english and science and reading. That's the boogie man of the hour, the union employees.

Now of course it's 100% bullshit that the unions have caused the entire budget shortfall in Wisconsin or anywhere else for that matter. It's convenience and a Republican opportunity to bust unions and further their agenda of turning the United States into a plutocracy. The amazing part is that a growing number of dolts are falling for it. Look at the 2010 election. Teabagger freaks have taken control because many of us normal people (and by that I mean those of us who don't need a government paid for scooter to haul our fat asses around in) didn't vote. When you don't vote, you lose. And these nuts take over. The nuts are funded by some very wealthy benefactors (Koch anyone?) whose mission is to destroy the middle class and grab all the money for themselves. Their minions, the teabaggers, can be called Koch whores from now on. Scott Walker, the deer in the headlights Governor of Cheeseland, is a Koch whore, proven by his falling for a prank phone call from one of the "Koch" Bros.

I am not going to get into specifics on budget deficits here. But public unions are not to blame. Oh, they're not blameless, but they are not the horrible evil the Republicans are brainwashing the Koch whores to believe. Christ, Texas doesn't even have any government unions, doesn't allow collective bargaining and they have a budget shortfall that would choke a $60 million Texas high school football stadium booster. So stop with the garbage about unions being Freddie Krueger. The union pension funds, while generous as hell, were raped just like you and me by those pricks on Wall Street. Pure and simple.

So stop looking down on your neighbor as the cause of all your troubles. Start looking up at the real problem. Those financial rapists and their blowhard talkers on the radio. You'd be surprised at how easy it is to blame the real culprits. And if the Middle East is any indication, how easy it would be to get rid of them.